Insult to Injury
by BlkTgrRdRse
Summary: Bella Swan is a well known Broadway actress who has been casted to play the leading role in a new movie version of Wuthering Heights. The problems begin weeks before filming when co-star Edward Cullen insults her before they even meet! Lemons!
1. Ringing All The Warning Bells

**First and foremost, the legal stuff!**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY AFFILIATED TRADEMARKS! THESE ARE THE PROPERTY OF STEPHENIE MEYER!**

**With that disclaimer, let's hope I don't get sued! laughs**

**I will warn you right off, if you don't like long chapters, please, be kind. Most of the other chapters will be shorter. I kind of mashed two chapters into one because I didn't know if you would understand what was going on from just the first chapter.**

**With that being said, enjoy the story!**

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Chapter One

BPOV

It was clear fairly early that I was not going to enjoy this job.

My question to God is why did I take it?

I could have quit. I could have quit after the announcement when I had the 'bad feeling'. I could have quit after I was publicly ridiculed. I could have quit after I read the script. I could have quit…but I thought I would like this project. I thought I could work through this.

I was wrong.

I had been slaving away as Broadway's Princess. I had been making twenty grand a month at twenty-two. People loved me. People paid to see me. Tourists flocked from the netherworlds similar to the place I grew up to meet me.

I might as well have been real, honest to God royalty.

And then this happened. Then I decided that getting cast as Catherine Earnshaw in the newest make of _Wuthering Heights_ was going to boost my career. And, not just that, I was a huge fan of the script. I was a huge fan of the book. I was a huge fan of everything _Wuthering Heights_. With this script staying loyal to the book, I had the chance of making Catherine exactly as she was in my mind since I read the novel as a teenager.

I had the chance of living my dream of bringing her to life.

I had forsaken money, the stage, and roles that I would have killed for as a teenager…

And all for what?

I have been publicly ridiculed, insulted, abused, battered…

And all because I am a stage actress.

And we haven't even started filming yet.

So, now, here I sit at the 'getting to know you' party, as we call them on Broadway. All of the cast and crew are together, celebrating the fact that blocking and reading starts tomorrow. In the Broadway world, that also means that all of us are all too wasted in the morning to actually shrug on anything in the way of clothes except sweats and other forms of loose clothing. We don't bother with glam the night after meaning half of us are in glasses that look like they came out of the 'geeks-r-us' magazine…we do have the occasional designer brand, though.

In the Hollywood world, apparently they can afford to rent out an entire nightclub, complete with the staff. That means we've got drink flowing more freely here. Bring it on. I do not want to be on the dance floor, I do not want to be close to any of these people. I do not want to be here period.

I feel like I'm going to vomit.

I can't believe I'm wearing this dress. It's too tight, too short, shows too much of my ample chest, is falling too far off of my shoulders.

And I'm only rambling because I am drunk off my ass.

I've found that I feel nothing now. I could go up to that vile man and tell him he's the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen. I couldn't care less that I had just spilled my true feelings for him.

So, how did I get here?

How did I get here so high on alcohol that I'm soaring, so pissed off with a man that I plowed through six strawberry daiquiris - knowing full well their effects - so irrevocably attracted to some jerk that I couldn't care less that I am going to have a hangover tomorrow?

I lean my head into my forearms, resting my forehead on the sore muscles. I close my eyes and try to remember precisely what happened four months ago that made me lose all sense of moral right and wrong, but the memories are blurry, faded, too hard to grasp.

And then I feel the light grip of Alice's small hand on my shoulder and I remember every single detail, because I blame it all on her.

--

_Four months ago_

I'm sitting in my dressing room. The entire room is pink, though I didn't intend it to be. I can only assume that someone else, the actress before me, painted the walls. I went with the pink theme, covering everything in pink sequined fabric and draping the mirror with sparkling pink curtains.

The show went well tonight, but it was my last show. This is upsetting. I honestly threw myself into the role of Abigail to the point that she became my life. I'm not sure if I enjoyed the show now. I realize that I now have nothing to do with my life because I was so wrapped up with the role. It ended too soon for me to even realize that the run was ending.

I haven't auditioned for anything new. In my defense, I had been coming to rehearsals during most of the week, so I hadn't had time to it. Alice hadn't informed me of anything, either, so I assumed that, when she found an audition she deemed worthy, she would inform me that I needed to miss work that day. There would also be a number of shopping trips involved before the audition, or there usually were, so, again, I assumed that I would know.

The soft knock on my dressing room door jars me from my thoughts. I jump from my chair, a pink concoction from one of Alice's shopping trips, knocking the chair over, and falling along side it with a loud 'thud'.

The door clicks open, so I assume that the person on the other side heard my fall. I look up to see Alice Bradon, my roommate, agent, personal assistant _and _personal shopper, smiling as wide as a Cheshire cat. The nerve of the pixie! She stands there in all of her glory, bright red Bollywood tunic over her acid wash jeans, deep black cropped hair spiky in every direction, looking like a goddess sent straight from Zeus. She is thin to the extreme. Beautiful.

Damn the pixie.

And I am on the floor, more or less nude, tangled in my short, black slip and red and black bra, long, plain brown hair flying in every direction. Where is the justice in the world? What did I do to deserve this…this complete plainness when everyone else gets to look Heaven sent?

Then, in the door, walks Emmett McCarthy. Emmett, the big, burly man who was formerly the bouncer of a nightclub…or so I've heard. I don't really remember much of meeting him. I think I was drunk then, too.

Anyhow, in short, Emmett is huge, but not in a threatening way. Well, not any more. After getting acquainted with him, he's like the teddy bear that can hug you back. He's like my big brother. His curly, black hair is a shade lighter than Alice's. I thank God their not related. The contrast would be too much for me to handle.

Emmett looks at me on the floor and laughs. "Fall again, Bells? Don't tell me you've already had a couple of drinks!" He says it in a joking way, but I know he's serious.

"No, Emmett," I say, simply, rolling out from under the chair and righting myself. "I am completely sober. I fall even when I'm sober."

Emmett laughs at me once more. "I think you hurt yourself worse sober!"

Alice shakes her head and clicks her tongue, studying me. I know the look she's giving me. It says that I look horrible. I am completely helpless to do anything but look back at her. "What?" I ask, biting the corner of my lips.

"You look horrible, Bella!" Alice, quickly rushes over to me and hugs me. This is where she makes me have more self-pity than I will ever have in my life. I stand with my arms up as though I were trying to defend myself, palms pressed flat against the air and Alice's arms are thrown around my upper arms, pinning my arms to my side.

"Geez, thanks, Alice. I love you, too!" I mutter as she backs away from me, studying me. She's got on very little make-up meaning she probably had a date tonight. Wonder who it was this time. I'm hoping it was Jasper. I liked Jasper. He would be good for her.

Alice looks at me seriously. "I'm sorry, Bella, but look at yourself!" She pulls me around to face my mirror. That's when I see what she's talking about. Emmett just shakes his head and, out of the corner of my eye, I see him make himself comfortable of the horrible couch that someone put in my dressing room.

I gaze intently at the woman in the mirror. Her make-up is smeared under her eyes where she rubbed off the remnants of it. She looks like she had been crying, her eyes red and puffy. She has thick mascara on still, though she had tried to scrub it off.

Alice was right. I didn't just look horrible; I looked pathetic. I will not need mascara on for days. If I'm lucky, I might be able to scrub most of it off tomorrow morning. I mouth 'wow' in the mirror.

"See?" Alice asks, very seriously.

It is at this point I catch on that something is being planned. There is some scheme behind this. Emmett _never_ comes to see me at work. Something was wrong here. I narrow my eyes at her. "What is it, who is it with, why do you want me to do it and no!" I say, blurring the three separate sentences into one.

"But, Bella!" Alice whines. We have skipped, like, three steps in the degrees of manipulation. Alice knows I hate it when she whines, so I'll do whatever she wants. I surmise, if I don't, Alice has Emmett paid. "You don't even know what it is!"

I look at Emmett, then to the door which he is standing right next to. My narrow gaze falls on him again. He smiles at me. "Sorry, Bells. I can't tell you." I begin sizing him up for a fight, knowing I'll lose.

I sigh in defeat, closing my eyes, taking a deep breath. "What is it?" I ask through another sigh, eyes still closed.

"Gosh, Bella!" Alice giggles. "You act like we might take you out to slaughter you!"

_You might,_ I think to myself.

Emmett's booming laugh is what I hear next. I'm not opening my eyes until I know that I will be calm enough not to crack Alice over the head. I'm also mentally looking for a place to put the body.

"Bella!" I nod. "Open your eyes!" Alice whines. I open them to form slits, like a snake's eyes. She shakes her head, as though she's tired of my pouting. Tired of _my_ pouting? How can she get away with pouting and whining and I'm getting lynched over it?

"Remember that interview you gave a couple months ago?" Alice is all smiles now.

I groaned. "Which interview, Alice? I remember several interviews. Most of them involve me pretending that I am not having a hang over or falling into something at a television station. You've forced me on several interviews, Alice. I don't remember when they all were!"

Alice laughs. "You'll remember this one! It was the one with Entertainment Tonight! Remember?"

How could I forget that one!

--

_Six months ago_

This was, surprisingly, one of my best interviews, but it came at the worst time in my life. This was back when this movie was still in talks. Alice drug me to the interview like I was an unruly toddler. We were there early and, for one of the few times since I became legal, I was sober. Completely. As in I hadn't had a drink in the past twenty-four hours.

Lauren Mallory was there later than we were. Her myriad of assistants, who deserve much more pay than they get, I'm sure, were all, more or less, cowering from her presence. From the moment she walked in the door she was ranting and raving. Sure, she was one of the entertainment industries best up-and-coming reporters, but, sweet Jesus, I think she was a bigger diva than I am!

I would have applauded her if Alice and I hadn't been standing off to the side ridiculing her.

I realized that she had her hair cut the moment she walked in the building, but to hear the entire story as she screamed at her assistants was hilarity in itself. Apparently, her stylist had 'slipped' the scissors. If she acted like this to her stylist, I can see why. I would slip the scissors, too. After this was done, Lauren insisted she have her hair cut to match that length. Sadly, that didn't work out too well and her hair ended up being cut at an angle. Apparently she had spent the past hour in some chincy upper East Side salon having her entire hair cut with a razor all over. The stylist said it was 'in the vogue.'

Yeah…maybe on a model in Vogue magazine, but, on Lauren Mallory, it looked pretty bad.

Karma's a bitch, I guess.

As she screams about either her hair or her dog or her boyfriend or something else that no one really cares about, Alice and I discuss the interview. Lauren is known for ripping people to shreds, putting their careers on a permanent hold, especially in Hollywood. And me, little old stage actress me, that could be lethal.

I glare at Lauren from the other side of the room, a vicious smirk on my face. I actually dressed up for this interview. White button-up blouse, jeans, a lacy camisole beneath the blouse, showing in the window created by the open buttons…I liked the way I looked. Add in the make-up Alice threw on me and the way that my hair somehow laid the right way and I felt pretty good about myself!

I have one of my stilettos against the wall, my arms crossed under my chest. "What do you think she's going to hammer me for today?"

Alice responds immediately, staring impatiently at Lauren as she orders her assistants around. "Alcohol problem."

I shoot Alice a look. I had been announced as Abby in the show a couple weeks ago, but I had come out of rehab a month ago. "Just because I publicly admitted to being an alcoholic and let cameras of the Broadway tabloids document my rehab doesn't mean everyone hates me because of it," I snap.

Alice shrugs, staring blankly at Lauren and her crew now. "I'm just saying," she says, innocently defensive. "People believed you were the last good thing about glitz, glamour, fame, and fortune. Now that they know that you are only human and not this angel they thought you were, you are going to get ripped to shreds at every opportunity."

I didn't want to listen to Alice, but I knew I should.

As soon as the crew sets up, Lauren is all smiles, fearing the camera might catch her, I suppose. She is quite cordial in the interview and, after a grueling question and answer session which left me mentally drained as to how I was going to think on my toes, she is starting to wrap up the interview.

"So," she says in her nasally voice. I have learned from the past hour that her and 'so' are bad things. Every time she says 'so', I'm going to get pumped for information. I figured that out a long time ago. If I act the wrong way about it people will think I'm hiding something, but if I act too carelessly, I will slip up like I always do. I try very hard not to hold my breath. "What can you tell us about future projects? How about dream roles? What is a role that you would be more than willing to play?"

I fear that people will laugh at me for what is about to come out of my mouth, but I feel like saying it. "Catherine Earnshaw, from _Wuthering Heights_. I would absolutely love portraying her character. She's one of the few women in literature that is human rather than characteristically good or bad. She has flaws…_human_ flaws. I enjoy her character."

Lauren Mallory's eyes begin to sparkle like I have given her the biggest scoop of the century. "Talks are in place for a new adaptation of _Wuthering Heights_. Are you coined to play the leading lady?" She asks with an evil smile.

I laugh. "Of course not! I would love to, but I doubt very much if they would want me to play the role."

"And if they asked you?" Lauren seems disappointed that I have nothing to offer.

I laugh again at her insistence. "Sure. Why not? Bring it on. I would love to."

The interview was over, Alice let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. I tensed up. I felt like I had just made a horrible mistake, but I don't know what I might have said that was such a bad thing. Catherine wasn't a bad choice…oh, God…I just gave the entire nation my soul on television!

--

_Four months ago_

"What about it?" I raise an eyebrow.

Alice laughs. "I got a phone call today from a special person!"

I feign interest, and then I decide to become a smart alek. "Holy Crow! My father actually called and I wasn't home?!" I ask the question, making my eyes wide and looking frightened.

Alice rolls her eyes. "Ha ha. Very funny." Her voice sounds very dry. She goes up to my mirror and begins to pull down the pink curtains, folding them neatly. "You know very well your father wouldn't pick up the phone to save his life."

I had to hold back a laugh at that one. That was not necessarily true. He was the police chief of Forks. Poor Podunk town needed its chief on call twenty-four seven…as well as its other two officers. I immediately try to derail the thought. "Anyhow, who called me, Alice? Lauren Mallory? Or does one of the camera guys want a date and you're so into scheming that you said I'd do it?"

Alice rolls her eyes. She turns to Emmett in defeat. "Emmett, why don't you tell her? She won't believe me."

"I won't believe what?"

Emmett chuckles. "Rosalie Hale called for you, Bells," he says with a smile. I think my face must be blank. "The movie director?" Again, more blankness. "Geez! Do you not get out of your apartment?"

I look at him with the same blank expression. "Actually, no. I prefer the life of a recluse, unless there is something in of value for me to actually step into the sunlight."

Alice makes a face at me. She looks annoyed. Emmett picks up on this and actually looks frightened for half a second. "She's directing _Wuthering Heights_ in Hollywood." I nod to him. He throws his hands up in the air in defeat. "As in you and Hollywood," I raise an eyebrow. "As in you've got the part of Catherine in _Wuthering Heights_! You're smart! Could you not put two and two together? I'm more dense than you are and I figured it out from Alice's squealing!" Emmett is practically yelling at.

I roll my eyes. "I'm sorry. It must be all of the alcohol killing my brain cells. You…" I suddenly stop. "Wait…did you just say I got a job I didn't audition for?"

Emmett nods enthusiastically. "In _Hollywood_!" He emphasizes this as though I didn't know that. "With _Rosalie Hale_!"

I scoff at this. "He's got a crush on the director?" I ask this question of Alice as though I didn't already know. Alice nods, solemnly, as though Emmett signed his own death contract. "So…am I going?" I ask Alice.

Alice laughs. "You have to ask?"

Yes, sir. The warning bells are screaming in my head.

What did I just get myself into?

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**Good, bad, what do you think? I will warn you that, due to previous stories getting no feedback, I'll be a bit mean with this story, but there is something in it for you guys, too!  
**

**I will only update after I get a few reviews. I'm not talking like twenty or anything ungodly. But, to the people who review, I will also send a quote from the next chapter so that you can keep guessing as to what might be happening! ((In other words, if you don't review, you might not get Edward's appearance in the next chapter. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I would enjoy feedback, negative or positive.))**

**I hope you enjoyed it and please don't lynch me for wanting a few reviews! ducks**

**Tiger**


	2. I'll Pay You To Shoot Him

**AN: And here we go again...((Does anyone know if I am legally required to put this at the top of each chapter?))**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY AFFILIATED TRADEMARKS! THESE ARE THE PROPERTY OF STEPHENIE MEYER!**

**Also, the chapter titles are either song titles or song lyrics. I don't own those, either. The first chapter's title was part of the song 'Careful' by Guster and this chapter's title is from Megan McCauley's 'I'll Pay You To Shoot Him'.**

**Remember, reviewsquotes from the next chapter. They also equal a shorter wait between updates! I swear! The more reviews, the fast I update. I promised this to TheCullenCrest...yesterday, I think, but I needed to sleep. Sorry!**

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Chapter Two

_Three Months Ago_:

Alice comes storming in our apartment at six in the morning. I groan. I hear her banging around in the living room, which is adjacent to…well, everything else in my apartment, honestly.

I stumble out of bed. I do not like getting up early. I haven't been working in a little over two weeks and I've found that sleeping helps pass the time when I'm not watching my ever lowering bank balance…or Days of Our Lives. I walk to the doorway of my bedroom, open it, and lean against the frame in my green tank top and black pirate sweatpants.

"What are you doing at six a.m.?" I ask, a yawn escaping my lips. Alice looks like she's already been up for hours and, maybe, gone to meet someone from the way her make-up in already done. She is dressed in a soft neutral suit.

"Oh…um…I didn't mean to wake you up…Did you see the paper?" She asked, smiling innocently.

I think my mouth drops open in disbelief, but I end up yawning. "Oh…Um…I didn't mean to wake you up," I quote.

Alice smiles as if she's about to be smacked. "Right…uh…sorry." She starts looking around. "Do we have any cereal or…"

"Alice…why are you up at six in the morning? The agency lets you off on Wednesdays." I know she's come with bad news. I'm thinking I've probably been fired.

"I just wanted to make sure that I got everything ready for us to leave!" She smiles sweetly.

"Liar," I accuse, smirking. "What's wrong?"

I go to pick up the paper that she's brought up from the front entrance. She is at the paper in a moment picking it up and hiding it. "Alice!"

She smiles. "I just…the paper looks interesting this morning…"

"What's in the paper that you don't want me to see?" I'm nearly laughing at her foolishness.

"Well…" She begins to say something when the phone rings.

"Good God! Did everyone wake up this early?" I look at the caller I.D. as I pick up my plastic, white, cordless phone. When I see that it's Emmett my face must go grey. Emmett never calls before noon. I hit the 'talk' button. "What's up?" I make a confused face.

"Hey, Bella!" I hear, but Emmett's voice is far too cheery. "I just wanted to know if you wanted to…go to breakfast this morning!"

I raise an eyebrow. "No, I do not. What was your real reason for calling? You know I don't wake up before noon."

Alice sighs in relief when she realizes that Emmett must be on the other end. "I was bored, Bella. Can't I just pick up the phone and call you if I'm honestly that bored?"

I roll my eyes. "Alice told me a variation of the same lie this morning. What are you two up to?"

Emmett is silent on the other end for a while before he says, "Hey! Why don't I come over for breakfast instead of taking you out! Al's there? That's great! We'll have an early morning breakfast…and then maybe you girls could go shopping! Oh, and have you read the morning pap…"

"What is it with you people and the paper? Is there something in there that says they're offering money for my head?"

I glare at Alice. She comes over and takes the phone. "Emmett, I'm gonna talk to her…I'll see you later."

I hear Emmett's very loud voice saying 'just don't do anything before I come over' before he hangs up. Alice shakes her head. I snatch the paper up from the table. Under the heading, above the little line that says 'turn to 'Entertainment' for more', is my name.

"I'm in the entertainment section?" I ask before I actually read the entire line. "Edward Masen, star of _Wuthering Heights_, voices his opinion on his casted love interest…?" I look at Alice. "Why did no one just come out and tell me that I was being insulted by some Hollywood golden boy?"

Alice's mouth drops open. "How would you know if it was an insult?"

I scoff, turning the pages of the paper. "First of all, if it was anything good, maybe someone would have just been like 'OMG! Edward Masen said THIS about you in the paper.'" I look up from the paper at Alice. "Why didn't you just tell me? I've gained somewhat of a thick skin. You have to in this business!"

Alice becomes insistent at this point, like a crazed fangirl. "Because it's _Edward Masen_!"

I purse my lips. "If emphasizing his name is supposed to make him more familiar to me, it doesn't."

"Don't you ever get out of your apartment?"

I roll my eyes. "Well, actually, not much. The last time I saw a movie was…when I was eighteen. Honestly, Alice. I'm twenty-two! I haven't seen a movie in four years. How long has this guy been around?"

Alice immediately begins to list off a bio of his life and I proceed with ignoring her as I flip through more pages to find the entertainment section. I don't think it's healthy to want to find out what people think is wrong with you, but it's not like not knowing will help, either.

By the time Alice actually shuts up and I find the page, about thirty seconds that seem like an eternity, I get that Edward Masen has been acting since he was seventeen, that he's a year older than I am, and that I should know his name as I've only been to one movie he's ever been in. (For those who didn't catch that, it was sarcasm.)

When I look under the HUGE article that is my insult, my mouth drops. The eloquent wording of the article is almost too much to handle. I don't think I ever have worded something so formally in my life. I can only gape.

"Did this guy go to European boarding schools?" I ask as I peruse the beginning of the quotations. Alice doesn't answer. When I slam the paper on the table with an irritated look on my face that only twists into anger, Alice backs away. What I find insulting is probably something Alice overlooked.

"'She's far too plain. Her acting is usually very dry, or at least what I've seen of her is…' And he probably saw, what? Half a show! The nerve! 'She's not particularly beautiful. As all stage actresses, she is overly made-up at all times,'" – this last bit I aim at Alice – "'Her acting should be left to the stage as opposed to the camera. She does not have the kind of experience that prepares her for the movies.'" I shake my head, angry. "How many times can a guy say 'she's ugly and can't act' in one quote? My, God!"

"How mad are you?" Alice hangs her head.

"Mad enough that I am definitely doing this, come Hell or high water! I will not be so heavily insulted and then be expected to step down!"

Alice sighs in relief. "Good for you! Be the bigger person!"

Just then, Emmett bursts in the door. "Am I too late to watch her explode?"

I laugh. "I'm not mad, Emmett. I'm just more driven to do this than ever!"

Emmett sighs. He puts a few periodicals on my kitchen table, piling more paper to the stack. "Oh, good. So now would probably be the best time to say that he has quotes about you in Stagedoor and Playbill, right?"

I grab up the magazines on the table. "That's low! He can't take over my turf!"

He did. And he is still swinging, still cocky. Alice has picked up another magazine and is pouring through it. "Listen to this, guys! 'It is not that I feel she is under qualified, yet, I fear that placing a Broadway party girl in the midst of so much pressure might force her to relapse into her former shame.' He's backtracking! He made enemies in a few hours!" Alice laughs. "Your fans will have a hay day with this!"

I pout. "Yeah. I can see it now. Banners on every fan website proclaiming 'I heart Isabella Swan'." I shake my head. This comment seems more personal than the others. He got cast yesterday and he's already taken it upon himself to know my entire life story. I take the magazine from Alice and rip it into tiny pieces. "Alright. That's it. I'm tired of being the bigger person!"

Emmett smiled. "I told you so."

Alice frowned. "But…you've only been the bigger person for, about…a total of thirty seconds!"

By this time, I am seething. I glare at Alice. "How many people would notice if I shot him? I want an honest answer!"

Emmett crossed his arms across his chest, smug. "I have some friends who could…"

Alice shot him a glance. "Emmett!"

"What? I'm just saying! That girl's driven! Might as well keep her out of jail while we can!" His voice is joking and he's almost laughing at his own words.

And the door of my apartment banged against the wall once more as Jacob Black came rushing in like a bull. "Good, God! Can you people not knock? I did not call a house party! What the hell are you doing up this early, too?"

Emmett and Jacob exchanged a glance that could kill and Alice glared back. I got a comical image of her sticking out her tongue and standing on her toes trying to take on Jacob…all five foot nothing of her compared to six foot seven Jacob. I sense the automatic tension in the room.

"Let me guess," I turn to my lovely Native American friend. "You read the paper of some variety and just HAD to come rub Edward Masen in my face, too?" I hope the sarcasm and the smile are enough to tell him that I am not pleased with…quite honestly, anyone in the room right now.

Jacob grimaces and runs his huge hand through his long black hair. He must have just woken up…or he was at work. He usually has to tie all of his hair back in a ponytail that, sometimes, looks longer than mine. "Sorry, Bells…I didn't realize the time."

I snort. I hear Alice mutter 'very ladylike' before I start in on Jacob. He might be one of my closest friends, but when I have a pixie, a bouncer, and a mechanic in the same room together, things usually get a little hairy. "Yes. Apparently I am the only one who actually knows the meaning of 'six in the morning'. While you're here, care to throw more insults in my face?"

Jacob looks enraged. "Have you not seen the newsstands?" I look at him incredulously. "Oh…sorry."

"Yeah…so…what paper were you reading? Was it The New York Times? Playbill? Stagedoor? OO! Or, better yet, did the New Yorker run a special issue all about it?" I am not in the best of moods. I notice then that his arms are filled with various papers. "You bought out a newsstand on the way here? Wow. Very thoughtful of you to smear salt in my_ gaping_ wounds."

"Bella, you cannot go through with this!" Jacob says, his voice concerned.

"Of course, she is!" Alice hisses at Jacob. "She is going through with this because _I_ am her agent, not you! Back off, Wolf boy!" Alice is standing, more or less, up against Jacob. The scene is only humorous because she has to tilt her head almost all of the way back to see him. Poor Jacob is getting called a dog by a woman that is five foot nada. She only calls him that because he told us all this crazy werewolf story from his days back as a teenager on the Washington reservation. I grew up there with him. That's where I met Alice, actually.

"You expect me to just stand her when that…idiot is slinging mud in her face?" Jacob and Alice are at it again. "He said that she had absolutely no talent!"

"_GAPING_ wounds!" I intone, once more. Emmett and I are just standing at the sidelines of the boxing match of the year.

As Jacob and Alice argue I glance at Emmett. "Twenty bucks on Alice."

Emmett looks at the little girl confusing Jacob with her big words. "I'll raise you sixty."

_One Month ago_:

Life had been reasonably uneventful until Alice and I started packing. As she was out getting take-out of some sort, Jake decided to stop by.

"Why do you have to go, exactly?" Jacob sighs, shaking his head.

I sigh, rolling my eyes. "I've told you a thousand times, Jake." I throw more clothes into my suitcase.

"Humor me, Bells." Jacob says, taking me by the shoulders. "Why exactly did you agree to this?"

I shake off his hands and turn back to my packing. "Um...because this is a wonderful opportunity. It will give me a lot of experience that I can't get on the stage and a lot more exposure."

Jacob smiles. "Come on, Bells. We both know that isn't true."

I roll my eyes. I sigh and try to act dramatically. "Alright, I confess. I am being kidnapped against my will. Alice has kidnapped me and I am going to be put in a prison camp where I shall be tortured to death at the hands of Rosalie Hale! Oh, Jacob, won't you rescue me?" I laugh as I slap his chest. "Honestly, Jake. I promise, I will be fine. You can always call me...or come and visit!" I fold more t-shirts before deciding it's no use and shoving them in the suitcase in small balls.

Note to self: buy an iron.

"So, you are going to join the generic ranks of Hollywood for experience?" Jake shakes his head at me. "Who are you and what have you done with my Bella?"

I laugh. "I'll be back soon enough."

"You're giving up New York after all of the things that some jerk of a Hollywood actor said about you?"

I roll my eyes. "We are not discussing this, Jacob."

"Are you doing this because of what he said?"

I shoot him a glare. "I already told you. We are NOT discussing this. I am going to Hollywood and that is the last you will hear of it!"

"But, Bella! Think of all of the chances you have here! They've been asking you for months to join the cast of 'Wicked' and you're going to turn down a role you've wanted for...God knows how long you've been talking about playing that role!"

"Jacob." I say this short, like a warning. I may have spoken as though he were an unruly dog, but it got his mouth shut. "I'm going and that is that!" I glare at him. For a while, the only sound you can hear in the room is our breathing as we stare each other down. Eventually, my chocolaty gaze beats his wolfish

glare and he gives up.

He shakes his head. "Alright. You win. Do what you want. You're more than capable of screwing up your own life." And that is the last time I saw him before he stormed out of my apartment.

_Three Days Ago_:

This is the only scene from the past six months that bothers me. I sit in the airport, mulling it over and over again in my head. I want to apologize to Jacob. I feel like a complete jerk.

And, poor Jacob! He's two years younger than me at twenty! He's not mature yet! Science has proven that males can't mature until age twenty-three! Ok…that's taking it a bit far, but, still. I believe he's a bit immature. And he's like my brother! I can't leave town without at least mending the rift, can I?

I lean back in the hard airport chair. I rub my temples and groan, my eyes closed.

Alice's soprano voice breaks my reverie. "Bella? Are you ok?"

I nod. "Yeah. I'm fine."

I can tell that she is concerned by the time she speaks next. "Are you having second thoughts? You don't have to go through with this! We can stay right here."

I shake my head.

"Are you sick?" I feel her cold, little hand against my forehead. I jump at her touch. I scoot to the far edge of the chair. Alice is leaning over the arm of the chair, her bright eyes "I think you have a little bit of a fever! Are you ok to travel? Should I call your doctor and delay our flight? Maybe…"

"Alice," I say. "I'm alright. I'm just…I'm worried that what I said to Jacob was stupid. I feel like a jerk."

Alice rolls her eyes. I swear I hear her mutter 'he deserved it' before she immediately returns to her fashion magazine. I remember when she used to dream of being a fashion designer, but knew so much about the entertainment industry that she decided to help me out. "He'll get over it."

I look at her. Her words sound dry at best, but sincere all the same. "How do you know?"

Alice puts her fashion magazine in her lap. "Because, Bella! He's a man! They always get over it! They forget immediately after! _He's_ probably wondering why you haven't called him!" As if on cue, our flight number is called. "Come on, Bells. We'll get a Sangria on the plane…they do serve those on American Airliners, don't they? You see, I was on this trip to Spain once and…"

I fumble through my pockets, blocking her out. I stuff pink earbuds into my ears and turn the volume up of Debussy. Not the most hardcore thing to sulk to, but at least I'll have a relaxing flight.

I was right. I slept the entire way there.

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**Remember! Review! Flames are more than welcome, though sometimes not well received, but I respect the opinions of the masses! If you don't want a quote and just want to critique it, just say so!  
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	3. I've Lost My Mind

**Alright, guys. I know I promised some of you Edward, but...he got out of hand. He wanted his OWN chapter, so...if I get enough reviews, Edward's chapter will be up tomorrow morning before I leave for school. I promise.**

**Also, I'm going to post the links to pictures of the clothing and such on my profile later. The tunic Alice wore in chapter one is already posted.**

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Chapter Three

_Two Days Ago:_

Alice and I were penned to meet Rosalie Hale in some office building in LA. We were to be there at two o'clock sharp. This was becoming a problem. First of all, our plane couldn't land when we got to LAX because some plane decided to turn onto _our_ runway. This was at ten a.m. By this time I had spent five hours on the flight catching up on the sleep I did not get because of the extra preparations that Alice 'forgot' to make…or neglected to think about at all…things like us needing a toothbrush a piece.

At eleven, after circling the airport for an hour, a whole, useless hour in which Alice actually made me wake up for, we finally get to land and I already felt late.

I was horribly groggy, making Alice be the one who had the duty of dragging me through the airport. Emmett called us as soon as we got off the flight. He was already here, having to take a plane from another airline that left two hours after ours. He had already checked us into the hotel room, the idiot that he was. He was being forced to pay for an extra night. Alice told him he was going to be the one paying for it. I could hear him groaning to her over the phone that he 'didn't get paid enough for this'.

I found out that LAX is extremely hard to navigate when you've never been there before and you just woke up. I think I get lost a couple of times. Going through the security checkpoint, my zebra belt sets off the alarm. It might have been the fact that I have on a black ribbed tank top with a giant cross rhinestoned on it that gets me stopped, though. For some reason, I am also sporting a black fedora with a rhinestoned star on the side, my hair pulled into a low ponytail to one side.

Did Alice HAVE to let me dress myself in head to toe glitter?

For some reason, the security guards also do not want to believe that it's just my belt buckle. One of them even suggests a pat down search to which I groan before calling him a pervert. Alice apologizes for me, but I swear he was just suggesting it to see if he got to touch my chest. I, however, have a year of law school and know that it is illegal for a male officer to search a female. It's sexual harassment charges waiting to happen.

Somehow, Alice convinces them to just let us go after I take off my belt and demonstrate that it DOES set off it metal detectors. They don't seem convinced, but it does get me out of LAX.

When we finally find all twelve of our bags, ten of which must be Alice's, we sprint to the doors that we think should be closest to the highway, though we got it wrong the first time and had to ask for directions again. I flag down a taxi quickly and find a porter from our hotel to have our luggage transferred, even giving him my room number. I send Emmett a quick text to tell him to be on the look-out.

I don't trust anyone.

Alice is the one who issues directions to the driver. I have no idea where I am going. I just know I'm supposed to be there. I have no sense of direction, either, so no matter what I wouldn't know where I was. That and Alice is pro at all of these arrangement things. She's the one who negotiated my contract. I'm getting half a million dollars for the movie! That's a new Alice record!

When we get to the office building, I wish I had changed clothes. Alice is dressed in her cute, prim black pinstriped dress suit and I look…Let's be honest here: I probably look like I could have come out of the nearest strip club. If I had on Alice's four inch stiletto heels, I would look like I'd come out of a club. As it is, I'm stuck in flip-flops and Alice actually fits in.

"When we meet Ms. Hale, just act natural," Alice begins to lecture me as she bounces her way down the hall toward the reception desk of the first floor. "Smile, introduce yourself. I don't want to have to lead you. If I lead you, she'll think you're too passive. Talk, but let me do anything that you don't know how to answer." Alice gives me this lecture every time I get a job. I tune her out and just clomp my way through the entryway with my head down, hoping to blend into the black marble beneath me.

Honestly, the only reason that Ms. Hale wanted me to meet her is because, apparently, I'm the only actress from the film that she has never met face-to-face. She has already met with everyone else through work or various connections. Me she had seen on one of her vacations to New York and just happened to hear that I said my dream role was Catherine while she was talking to one of the fan girls in the audience…or, at least, that's more or less how Alice relayed the story back to me. On the phone, Rosalie Hale had said she saw my stunning work once in New York and I had been at the front of her mind ever since. I wondered at the flattery.

The receptionist had to page Rosalie who, upon hearing who it was, immediately insisted on escorting us up herself. She seemed horribly enthusiastic, and that scared me. Directors who were that happy to see me usually had good news like 'you're going to be raking in money for this show at slave's pay!' I knew this wasn't the case here, but I had developed a mild case of paranoia from being in this business.

As soon as Rosalie steps off the elevator, I am blinded by bright red. She is wearing a suit like Alice. I know I'm underdressed and I itch to melt into a puddle.

The first thing I remember about Rosalie Hale, other than that, was that I felt like I should have quit this business a long time ago. If this woman was a director, I was afraid to meet the real actresses. Rosalie was in all aspects a model. Blonde, tall, and with curves that belonged on a goddess, not a human. Her bright blue eyes were shocking to the point that looking in them was enough to render any human, male or female, unable to form coherent sentences. The females couldn't speak because she was so gorgeous they were taking hits on their ego by being in the same room.

The next thing I remember was her proclaiming to everyone within a half mile radius, "There's my Cathy!" and kissing both of my cheeks. Having lived in New York for the past four years, I have seen many weird personages. This one, though makes me smile sweetly before shooting a nervous glance at Alice. As we're walking to the room where I'm probably going to be put through the ringer, Alice tells me that Rosalie, who insists I call her Rosalie or Rose, was raised in Europe.

This explains the kissing on cheeks.

The room that Rosalie leads us to is actually her office. She opens the door, smiling sweetly and immediately goes to her desk and sits behind it, professional in all aspects. Alice and I remain standing as I shut the door quietly behind myself. Rosalie frowns when she sees that neither of us are sitting down.

"Well, go on! Sit down! The chairs don't bite, I promise!" She smiled, her pearl white teeth giving my ego another good battering. "I have been told they are quite comfortable, actually," she says, standing as she gets up and goes to a coffee pot in a corner of her office. "Coffee?" She offers as Alice and I sit down.

Alice politely declines, as do I. Rosalie shrugs. "So," she says, swallowing. "Isabella! Tell me about yourself!" She smiles at me.

"Bella," I correct, automatically. "I don't know what to say," I answer, honestly, almost shyly.

Rosalie waves her hand as she sits down. "Your experiences, your life…how about where you grew up!" I raise my eyebrows at the question. "I know almost everyone in the cast personally," she says, her tone explanatory. "You, on the other hand, are a mystery to me! Come on, now. I just want to know more about you."

Alice is actually shocked by Rosalie more than I am. "I don't know if Bella is used to this kind of attention, Ms…Rosalie." Alice looks at me, her eyes huge.

I just shrug. "There's really nothing to tell about my life," I say, coyly. "I grew up in Forks, Washington…"

"Me, too! Well, what I consider my American life was spent there for about four years." Rosalie begins, cutting me off. I think I could probably keep her talking until she dismissed us. "You're only twenty-two, right? I was only a year ahead of you in school, too…God, how did I miss you? Were you in any of the school productions?"

I bite my lip. "No." I say, not too sure how to explain that if she wants an explanation. The teacher who directed and I never really agreed.

"Oh," Rosalie says, as though she's having an epiphany. "That would be why. I was assuming you were one of the drama people! But, no? You should have been! You are _very _talented!"

"You were at Forks High?" Alice raised a brow incredulously.

"One year." Rosalie explained, shrugging.

The next hour was spent with us swapping stories about Washington. It was actually kind of nice. I'm under no pressure from anyone. This is a good sign. I think I will grow to like Rosalie, though, I wouldn't know because at three o'clock her receptionist came in to tell her that she needs to be on her way to some movie premier in three hours, meaning she should go home to change. Rosalie all but ignores her, finishes the story she was telling Alice and I and then tells the receptionist that she's coming and to not throw a tantrum.

"It was marvelous to meet with you two! Remember, tomorrow, lay back, relax, enjoy LA for me, alright? Oh, and, Al, if you're into shopping there is GREAT shopping here. It's like the Soho district in New York, but on steroids!" As she says this and writes down some business names for Alice, the only thing I can think is _Did she just call her 'Al'?_

As we're leaving, me dragging Alice out of the room because she had to comment on Rosalie's shoes, Rosalie turns to me. "I am so glad that you could come to meet with me! I think you're really going to enjoy this project. And your co-star, Edward Masen, I think you'll like him."

It takes every fiber of my being to get out of there with merely a smile and a nod. If I opened my mouth, I knew I would scream.

_Today_:

Enjoy Los Angeles.

This is an understatement. What Alice made me do was far worse than 'enjoy' Los Angeles.

I had been shopping for eighteen hours. Alice dragged me out of bed at five a.m. we didn't get back until eleven, and that was only because she insisted we stop for a 'treat' at McDonalds. I was so happy to find out that there were McDonalds here. I think I almost cried when I sat down. My feet were sore, my arms were laden with bags of clothes which may or may not be mine, and I had to squint to see straight because my contacts were falling out of my eyes.

I slept most of the day away. When I woke up the first time, Alice was showing Emmett our purchases and he was 'ooh'-ing and 'ah'-ing when he saw fit…or when he knew Alice expected it. I rolled over and saw that it was eight o'clock.

I woke up at noon to the phone. Alice's shopping trips really did wear me out. I got up and started to wander around the suite, opening the door, looking at Alice tangled in the corded hotel phone. Emmett was leaning forward to hear as Alice smiled. I walked out into the parlor room, opening the door wide behind me.

"The sleepy-head finally wakes up!" Emmett says, a little too loudly, I suppose because Alice smacks him.

"Uh huh. Yes. We'll be there. Uh huh! Ok. Buh-bye, Rose."

I raise my eyebrows at Alice. Why on earth was she on the phone with Rosalie Hale? I was only assuming, but I didn't know any other 'Rose' of any shape or form.

"That was Rosalie Hale," Alice sings as she puts the phone down.

"No, really?" I say, mocking shock. "I thought it might be someone important." I say, making a bitter smile.

Alice rolls her eyes. "She wants us to come to the pre-shooting party! They're throwing this huge bash in this bar…" I tune Alice out and go for the mini-bar. "Hey!" Alice swats the shot glass out of my hand. It drops to the counter surface with a clang. "What are you doing?"

"Getting a drink?" I say it as though she is insane for taking away my glass, hoping to convince myself more than her.

"No, you are not, missy! You have to stay sober today! All day! You have to be able to give Edward Cullen a piece of your mind!" Alice holds up her fists in a fighting stance and mocks punching the air.

"I hate to agree with the small one, but Al is right," Emmett says, smirking at Alice.

I sigh, shaking my head. "Then someone better order me some food because I'm…" Alice is pointing to a plate on the table in the parlor. "Oh." I say, sighing. I take up the fork and sit down. I take off the silver cover to reveal a plate of cold bacon, eggs, and a bagel with cream cheese spread across it mercilessly. I shake my head, but eat it anyhow.

Everything tastes slimy to me. I take that as an omen that my day will go horribly.

After I eat, Alice pulls me out of my chair. "Bella, Bella, Bella!" She is jumping up and down dragging me to the shower. "We need to get you cleaned up, my darling!" I bite my lip. This could take hours.

I was right. Alice forces me to go back in the shower once after I have been in for twenty minutes. I soak in the half-a-bathtub for an hour before getting out the next time. After that, my hair is combed out, pulled from my scalp, torn from the skin…oh, you get the point!

Alice decides that she HAS to take the curling iron to my too plain waves. Why? She burns my scalp at least twice. I sit there in the parlor bitterly as I get laughed at by Emmett who can come and go as he pleases while I am a prisoner to Alice Brandon!

This takes until three-thirty. Emmett, through making all of the preparations for us to go to the 'party' –where I shall be further tortured –has already informed me that we aren't leaving until six o'clock. So, when Alice pulls out a black piece of fabric and spray adhesive, I don't know why I'm surprised. I honestly want to cry about it when I see how little it will cover with my chest.

"Do I HAVE to wear this?" I ask, holding the dress against me. It is a mini-dress. There is barely any 'dress' to it.

"Yes!" Alice says, glaring.

"Bella, you'll look…sexy," Emmett offers. I know he feels as adamantly about me not getting myself into the dress as I feel about it.

"See? Even he approves!" This is an insult to Emmett's fashion sense. Posing as my body guard, he is wearing a black button-up shirt which features white pinstripes, the top two buttons undone so that you can see part of his chest, his sleeves rolled up past his elbows and deep wash blue jeans that Alice bought him. He looks like the stereotypical hero of some romance novel, AKA what my life will never be.

Alice shoves me into the bathroom and comes in behind me, undressing me, redressing me and spraying glue all over my back so that low cut back will not reveal certain pieces of my anatomy. She then leaves me alone while she brings back make-up and plays 'Barbie Bella' until five-forty-five. I know. I put on my diamond Dior watch to time her.

When she finally leaves me in solitude, I look in the mirror. There is an alien staring back at me.

I swiftly lock the bathroom door to keep Alice out and reflect on the woman in the mirror. She's beautiful. Alice can handle a mascara wand like magic, let me tell you, but…she wasn't me. She wasn't the woman who was a horrible feminist, who stood up for what she believed in, who was outspoken.

Worst of all, she wasn't plain, she wasn't ugly…and she looked talented.

Damn that Edward Masen. He planted that seed of doubt again. He had to plant that seed of doubt again! I don't even believe in myself anymore! I lean against the bathroom counter, trying to fight tears.

I hear pounding on the door. Emmett and Alice are screaming my name outside the door. Alice is shrieking for Emmett to break the door down.

"I will not damage property each time Bells decides to act like a four year old! She'll come out!" Emmett's comment stings, but I try to ignore it.

"Why did she lock the door?" Alice is shrieking.

Emmett takes over, knocking softly. "Bella, honey. Why did you lock Alice out? Is it because she's so evil?"

"No," I say on the other side of the door, quietly.

"Then, what is it, Bells?" Emmett actually sounds concerned.

"I'm…too pretty."

Alice sounds enraged. "Why would you say that!? You've always been pretty!"

"Maybe what that jackass said affected her more than we thought, if you get my drift," Emmett says, trying to be soft, on the other side of the white door.

Alice sighs through her teeth, angry. "Yes, Emmett, I get your drift. I have lived with your drift for _years_. I am SADDLED by your drift!"

Emmett pauses, clearly out of witty comebacks. "It's only been two." The two of them bicker on how they'll get me out until I come out on my own accord, at six twenty-five. I have determined something in that twenty-five minutes alone: I would go to that party, and I would make Edward Masen eat his own words!

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**Remember, reviews equal quotes, reviews also equal happy author. I appologize this is so late! It's not you guys. I was DRAGGED from home all weekend to go to a historical re-enactment! I am also BROKE thanks to the pretty clothing at said historical re-enactment! Ha ha.  
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	4. Hate 2 Love Her

**Disclaimer (That I forgot last time...): I OWN NADA!!**

**Ok, last chapter's title was from 'I Realize' by Megan McCaulley. This chapter's title is a Blake Lewis song. Sorry if you're not a fan, I am not either, truthfully.**

**This time, I am not promising that I will have the chapter up within a few days because I got dragged away because of work. I'm sorry. You will still get your quotes, though and, the reviews do become extra incentive to make time during work to write. **

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Chapter Four

EPOV

I know that it's coming. Rosalie should be knocking at my door any time today. Perhaps I sound as if I have developed a sense of paranoia, however, growing up with my cousin Rosalie has taught me that she likes to 'celebrate' every big event in her life by renting out a club.

She had already told me months ago that she was going to be planning a party for the cast members. I am not one for parties or club scenes. I am more of…how shall I describe it?

I'm a hermit. Yes, that is it. I am a hermit.

Women follow me everywhere I go and, when it is not women or crazed teenage girls, it is members of the press wishing to find me doing something that they can make the smallest of a stir over. They got their chance three months ago when I was cast.

I wouldn't say I regretted insulting the girl in every way possible. I had seen her perform. She had a lovely voice, but under all of the make-up, she was plain, ordinary. She was in no way a Hollywood beauty. I justified what I had done as saving her from the talons of the harpies in Hollywood.

The papers justified what I had done as 'a verbal barrage of the finest bullets that wounded, not only Ms. Swan's pride, but her heart.'

I sighed thinking over this. I might actually welcome Rosalie as a distraction. In the past three months I didn't get through the day without feeling some once of remorse for what I had said about Isabella Swan. Paparazzi crazed my attention now. Somehow they had gotten my personal phone number. I have unplugged all of my phones and I am ignoring my cell phone, seeking solitude in my study.

When I glance at the clock at six, a banging begins on my front door. There is just enough time for Rosalie to drag me into some downtown Los Angeles club by seven. The last time she took me out, we ended up having all three of her friends, her twin brother included, wasted. I was the only one who had stayed sober enough that I was able to drive!

I hear the banshee shrieking 'Edward' at my front door. I sigh, shaking my head, and getting up from my high backed leather arm chair. I place the book I had been reading on the side table. Since Rosalie had begged me to play Heathcliff, I had found that I actually was enjoying dissecting Emily Bronte's novel, however I absolutely despised the character which I would be bringing to life.

I open the huge oak door at the front of my house and almost have to catch Rosalie as she tumbles in. As soon as she regains her bearings, she looks me over. Several times she looks me over. I glance out the door to see Jasper standing on the front walk. He waves to me, smiling before joining Rosalie and I in my main entry.

"Have you been shanghaied for the night?" I ask Jasper with a smirk. He rolls his eyes. Rosalie catches that he is rolling his eyes. He is dressed very similar to me, though he has thrown on a bright green jacket over his t-shirt.

"Honestly, Edward, it won't be that bad." Jasper said, laughing, hoping to throw off some of Rosalie's wrath.

When Jasper and Rosalie are together, it is clear they are related. They share the same golden blonde hair, the same bright blue eyes, the same lips, even. As the eldest twin, Rosalie had always been able to rule over us with an iron fist, but not because of her age; it was because she was a girl.

Rosalie had been the one both of us stuck up for, even though, more often than not Rosalie was the one beating up the boys rather than the other way around. She had gained such a reputation as a dangerous beauty that, by high school, the boys were afraid to even ask her to a single dance.

Rosalie is still looking me up and down. I am doing the same thing to her. I am half tempted to shield my eyes when I see what she is wearing. The red leather mini-dress should belong only on a bar dancer, not on a member of my family.

"What are you wearing?" I immediately ask Rosalie.

Rosalie snorts, looking at her long, bright red nails. "I'm wearing club wear. You are going with us, aren't you? I have made arrangements for the limo tonight. The chauffeur can drive. You can get as wasted as you want to."

I sigh. "Rosalie, you know that I don't like to go clubbing, or anything of the sort." The beginning of my protest has begun. With Rosalie, this is a fight for survival. I know I'll lose, but I am fighting for my life.

"What are you wearing?" She asks me, her eyes vicious. Jasper covers a chuckle. Something tells me he has already gotten this speech.

I look at my jeans and t-shirt. "Clothing, I would hope."

Rosalie points to staircase behind us all. "Change!" She glares.

"Rosalie, please. I don't want to go anywhere tonight, except my bed." As I try to turn away from her, she grabs my shoulder, digging her nails in and holding fast.

"Change!" When Rosalie Lillian Hale talks through her teeth, she means business. I don't question her, I actually allow her to push me up the stairs. Jasper follows behind her to watch my misery, I assume. Rosalie goes through my closet. She picks out a white button-up dress shirt and picks out a black tie. She then proceeds to throw these at me. I am wondering if she realizes that I could refuse when she says, "If you don't change your clothes, I will change them for you."

I sigh and take my t-shirt off. Rosalie immediately jumps backward. "Hey! Not while a lady's in the room!"

I glance back at her as I put on an undershirt. "This from the woman who is more than comfortable going about in her bra?"

Rosalie pouts. "Touché."

I button up the white shirt and listen to Rosalie as she barks orders at me. "Don't tuck that shirt in. Keep the jeans. Undo the top button. Oh, dang it, let me fix your sleeves. Hmm…is over the elbow more sexy or just under? What do you think Jasper? Nevermind. Sorry. Ok, now for the tie. Ok…so, I'll tie it all the way, and then…here we go, loosen it!" I was a human Ken doll for her. I did not care that I had grown up with her or that we were even the same age. I was nothing but a Ken doll to her.

I consider refusing to go even after the Hell she has put me through, but I remember all of the possible repercussions. Rosalie has used brute force to get me to see things her way before.

I must be pouting the entire limousine ride there. Rosalie is joking with me that she has never seen me more upset. Truthfully, after my conversation with Rosalie about Isabella Swan the day before, I didn't think I wanted to get within twenty yards of the woman. She would find a way to harm me physically, I was sure of it.

At the club, I suddenly remember why I didn't go out very often anymore. Rosalie has rented the entire place out, complete with staff. The lights are too bright inside. The music is too loud and the bass is pounding in the back of my head. I missed the Debussy in my sound system.

Rosalie pushes me through the door and she is immediately with me the entire night, introducing me to people, but the only person I want to see finds me.

Emmett McCarthy is here tonight. We knew each other in high school, but we went our different ways. As a sophomore, he transferred to New York with his family and was, of course, forever stuck in Forks, Washington with my family. When I see him, I almost have a heart attack. "Emmett!" I yell to him. He seems as happy to see me as I am to see him. Rosalie is immediately occupied with looking at the floor, a habit she has taken up when she feels the slightest of attraction to a man. "What are you doing in a place like this?" I yell above the dance music.

Emmett laughs. "I'm a body guard to one of your co-stars!"

Rosalie excuses herself before Emmett even realizes that she was there. There is a gleam in his eye. I think that he is immediately infatuated by her, almost as immediately as she was infatuated by him. "I'll introduce you," I promise. We catch up at the bar, and there is a lot that I have missed. I haven't seen him in at least four years when I flew to New York for the summer.

An hour later, I see Rosalie coming toward us. She is followed by a pixie brunette as well as another woman. I study the pixie. She has short cropped black hair that flies in every direction. Her dress is purple and covered in sequins, which I wonder at. She looks almost too young to be here.

The other woman who had her face turned to speak with Rose turns her face back toward me. The woman following her is a goddess. Her pale skin shimmers under the light, her beautiful eyes gleam as they take in everything around her, her lovely brunette locks are curled to perfection. God should not make a creature so perfect. The exposed skin of her thighs make me want to reach out and touch her, appreciate her. I lust after her in one single glance.

Her chocolate brown eyes meet mine for only a moment, her bright red full lips pull into a pout, her long black lashes bat threateningly as she looks down her nose at me. She says something to Rosalie before she walks away, disappearing into the crowd.

"Emmett," I say to him. "Who was that woman?"

Emmett takes the time to look up from his beer, swallowing. "The chick with Rose? That's Alice Brandon. She's one of the girls I'm working with."

"The other girl, the one that was with them. Do you know who she is?"

Emmett glared at me. "My client. Why do you want to know?"

I raise my hands up in defeat. "I just wanted to know her name. Nothing more."

Emmett takes a deep drink of his beer. "So you can insult her some more?" He asks the question so casually that I feel as though I have been slapped in the face. Immediately, I know who it is, and I know that this entire time, I have been wrong. The guilt I was feeling was more than justified.

"That's Isabella Swan." I state.

Emmett looks at me and raises his eyebrow. "You mean to tell me you didn't know?"

I signal the bar tender and order the strongest proof they have. I need the alcohol for the first time in my life.

Eventually, Emmett is called by the small brunette to do some form of service and I watch the same short one, Alice, dance with Isabella on the dance floor. I want to be the one dancing with her. I keep telling myself that I don't love her, but I come up empty. I…lust for her. That is all. Eventually, it will pass, will it not?

Another man goes up to her and asks her for a dance. I find myself hoping that she will decline when I feel a delicate lily hand on my shoulder.

"Go talk to her," sings Rosalie. I roll my eyes, ignoring her. Five minutes later, she is back she opens her mouth as I swirl the remaining liquid in my whiskey tumbler.

"Rosalie, if you tell me to go talk to her one more time, I swear to God, I will quit right here and now," I immediately spit out at her.

Rosalie laughs. "You should," she says in the same, annoying, sing-song voice. She sees one of the other actors. "Mike, darling!" She immediately flits off in his direction.

I turn back to watching Isabella, like a stalker. She has turned down her potential dance partner and is walking toward the bar. I see her tense when she has to stand next to me to get her drink. "Strawberry Daiquiri, please," she says in a most beautiful voice.

The bar tender nods and walks over to make her drink. She flips through the black sequined clutch in her hand. I want to speak to her, but I can do nothing but stare. I finally decide I should probably start over from the beginning. "Hello," I say, as nicely as I can. She stares straight ahead, ignoring me, flipping her hair over her shoulder, tapping the toe of her stiletto black sandal. "Ms. Swan?"

She turns to me. "Oh, I'm sorry! You were speaking to me?"

Her tone is blunt, cutting in all of the right places. I think she intended this, but I decide to pretend that I did not hear her. "Yes. I wanted to introduce myself properly."

She smirks. "Yes. I think you did that quite a while ago."

"Oh?" I could see where this was going. The woman was bitter.

"Yes." The bar tender hands her the glass and then she starts to walk away. There is a strong urge to stop her.

But, I know I will see her the next day.

But I know I have no chance to speak with her.

Isabella Swan begins to walk away. "Ms. Swan!" She stops, turns, and stares. "I just wanted to say…"

Rosalie comes up behind me. I don't know how much of the uncertainty she saw in my eyes, but if anyone knew how to get out of a horrible situation, it was Rosalie. "That he's glad that you could have met properly…and that he's sorry. Isn't that right, Edward?" Rosalie smiled at me.

"Yes," I say, confused as to whether I should be following this script or not.

Rosalie pulls me up from the bar stool. "Come on, Edward. You have yet to meet Alice." As Rosalie walks ahead of me, I stop as Bella goes back to the bar.

"Isabella…if there is anyway in which I can make amends…"

"Leave me alone," she says through her teeth, burying her hands in her hair. "Just leave me alone."

And I do. For the rest of the night, I leave her alone. I can't deny that I was attracted to her, but, until I could make my amends to her, I would pretend not to.

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**Probably the worst thing I have ever written. I apologize. I tried not the make Edward like a complete jerk, per request of VannessaHW, whose review made me laugh because my cell phone cut it off.**

**Remember!Reviews still get quotes, I promise!..and faster this time!**


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE AND PREVIEW

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!! WILL NEVER OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT THE STORY CONCEPT...ANYTHING ELSE IS STEPHENIE MEYER'S!**

**Ok...First...this is my apology. I'm sorry this hasn't been updated in so long! I thought I had time to work on chapter five and it turned out that I didn't! I had a lot of problems with chapter five...so, I switched points of view.You all get mor Edward!  
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**THE ENTIRE CHAPTER IS NOT READY, however I have decided to give you guys this below with hopes that I will be able to finish it tonight. Please excuse me! If I do not finish this tonight, I will have it up before 7 o'clock tomorrow night. **

**I hope you are not overly angry with me and will continue reading. I just have not had much time for myself recently! HEre is a preview of chapter five for all of you!

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Minutes pass as though they were hours. I miss my lines several times, thinking about nothing but Isabella.

Rosalie becomes annoyed with me, to say the least. She calls a break from the reading, pulling me off to the side of the room. "What the hell are you doing?" Rosalie says through a smile.

I sigh. "Rose, I'm a little tired. Your party wore me out was all." I hope she can't see through the lie as easily as I could. I had become a decent liar through acting.

Rosalie raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Well, then...why don't you just go join Bella and sleep late." I would blush if I had been capable of anything but anger over the insult of Isabella. Rosalie laughs, but she sees Emmett and becomes her normal bubbly self rather than the lethal weapon of femininity. "Emmett!" She calls in her sing-song voice and abandons me.

The next few minutes are spent in a blur as people, eleven of the other twelve cast members, introduce themselves to me. Too many of the mind boggling compliments from the bottom feeders of the Hollywood social ladder in one day are lost to me and I soon see faces without names. We're missing the younger children who play the young versions of Heathcliff and Cathy; however, Rose informed us not to expect them at this reading.

I notice that I have spent forty minutes awaiting nothing but Isabella's arrival when Emmett walks over to stand by me. "Enjoying yourself?" He asks, smirking.

"Your humor is wasted on me this morning," I say, rubbing my forehead, sighing.

"You sigh like that one more time and I will challenge your masculinity," Emmett says. "You're waiting for her to show up, aren't you?"

I avoid the question with another question, hoping to provide him with an answer and get one myself. "Emmett...how do you apologize to a woman you've met once, offended on numerous occasions and then realize you might be attracted to them?"

**I can't really give you guys anything for the next chapter since there isn't one yet because I'm still on THIS chapter! If you can think of a reward or a question you'd like answered in favor of reviews, I'll post an FAQ at the top of the actual chapter if you'd all like!**

**Again, the most apologies!**

**Black Tiger  
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	6. Can't Let You Go

**Disclaimer: If I owned any of these characters, do you think I would have to post it on ? And the songs...wish I owned them, too.**

**This title is from 'So I Need You' by 3 Doors Down.  
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**Ok, guys....sorry it took so long. This would have been up last night, however my computer decided to tease me and say it was uploaded. When I come to edit it, it said the file was corrupt. I spent six hours trying to get it to upload to the site properly and ended up having to do it at 8:30 in the morning.**

**Yes, this update is horrible, but I wrote a better one for the next chapter. This chapter didn't want to write itself and it was actually work for me to come up with what to write. I apologize, but if I get a couple of reviews today, I'll update before midnight tonight! Ha ha.**

**Without further adieu, the next chapter....

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Chapter Five

EPOV

I am not enjoying sitting with Rosalie in her office.

Hopefully the cast has been informed of Rosalie's unique filming style. She likes to run things the day before and then expects one scene memorized overnight. She has people in her office daily running scenes. Rumor has it that she actually stopped a shoot early, despite that she was dissatisfied, because she wanted the two leads to become familiar with the lines for the next scene.

She is more like a theatrical director. She blocks things before they actually film, and not just hours before. She took eighteen months to film a movie once because she said the 'shots were so complicated to get and the actors were horrible to deal with.'

The entire cast appears to be here, crowded into this little room. I'm not giving the room credit, I assume. It's the size of any normal classroom and there are less people in here than there would be in a normal high school class, but I am focused on the one empty chair in the room.

Isabella Swan's delicate little body belongs in it, sitting there, still, ignoring my very existence…

The door opens and my head snaps up. Rosalie seems to notice, as if she hadn't noticed that, for the past half hour I was snapping to attention each time the door opened. I had showed up early in hopes of seeing her here. I could use the excuse that I thought we should discuss our characters' relationship to spend more time with her…time she would be less than willing to spend with me.

Emmett McCarthy walks into the room and immediately leans against the wall, as though he might not have already disturbed our rehearsal. Rosalie seemed unconcerned about Isabella's absence. She must have gotten a phone call from her early this morning.

It never occurs to me that, Emmett, being her 'body guard', should be in the same general area as Isabella. I remembered her state last night, wasted, make-up smeared, eyes tired. Emmett, being nowhere in sight, couldn't carry Isabella to a taxi. I decided that it was my duty to carry her out to a taxi in his stead, even though the little pixie had blatantly refused my help. I didn't want to have to see her like this. Was it my fault that she was behaving this way? Had I done something that made her drink herself to sleep?

Minutes pass as though they were hours. I miss my lines several times, thinking about nothing but Isabella.

Rosalie becomes annoyed with me, to say the least. She calls a break from the reading, pulling me off to the side of the room. "What the hell are you doing?" Rosalie says through a smile.

I sigh. "Rose, I'm a little tired. Your party wore me out last night; that is all." I hope she can't see through the lie as easily as I could. I had become a decent liar.

Rosalie raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Well, then...why don't you just go join Bella and sleep late." I would blush if I had been capable of anything but anger over the insult of Isabella. Rosalie laughs, but she sees Emmett and becomes her normal, bubbly persona rather than the lethal weapon of femininity. "Emmett!" She calls in her sing-song voice and abandons me.

The next few minutes are spent in a blur as people, eleven of the other twelve cast members, introduce themselves to me. Too many of the mind boggling compliments from the bottom feeders of the Hollywood social ladder in one day are lost to me and I soon see faces without names. We're missing the younger children who play the young versions of Heathcliff and Cathy; however, Rose informed us not to expect them at this reading.

I notice that I have spent forty minutes awaiting nothing but Isabella's arrival when Emmett walks over to stand by me. "Enjoying yourself?" He asks, smirking.

"Your humor is wasted on me this morning," I say, rubbing my forehead, sighing.

"You sigh like that one more time and I will challenge your masculinity," Emmett says. "You're waiting for her to show up, aren't you?"

avoid the question with another question, hoping to provide him with an answer and get one myself. "Emmett...how do you apologize to a woman you've met once, offended on numerous occasions and then realize you might be attracted to them?"

"Chocolate's always nice," I hear the reply, cutting and dripping with sarcasm enough that I know she has heard most of the conversation. I turn toward her slowly. Emmett's smile is guarded, but Isabella is not looking at us. She seems to be finding the dirt under her nails more interesting than anything else in the room, even as she looks down her nose at it. I note that her nails are bitten short. She flicks a piece of dirt from under her nail. "Some women like roses. After all, what a better way to insult them further than by giving them something that dies the day after it was purchased?"

"Isabella," I say, as respectfully as possible.

"Mr. Masen," she replies back coldly as she places her hands on her hips, tossing her long hair over her shoulder.

"Bella, I think Rosalie was looking for you," Emmett immediately jumps into the conversation, attempting to save me, perhaps.

Isabella begins to strut off. "Thank you, Emmett," she mutters as she walks past us, feet poised like a catwalk model…a very small, catwalk model in her black suede ballet flats and jeans.

"Isabella?" I stop her.

She turns slowly, with a plasticine smile and corrects me with, "I would appreciate 'Bella', even though I don't necessarily like you and vise versa."

"Bella," I correct. The name still flows off my tongue like honey. "What would you suggest…as a present."

Bella raises her eyebrows, but smirks, a smirk I can place as her sarcastic mask. "Alcohol. Any kind. She'll need it when you tell her you are apologizing." She looks over her shoulder for Rosalie and then stalks off again. As she begins to walk across the room, she trips. She glances over her shoulder back at me with narrowed eyes, as though I put a spell on her to make her trip, before righting herself, smoothing down her black, form fitting t-shirt over her sinuous curves, and walking toward Rosalie once more.

Emmett shakes his head. "Don't. I know what you're thinking and I wouldn't."

"Roses?" I ask instead.

Emmett rolls his eyes, but a high pitched voice replies for him. "She likes red roses and baby's breath!" I turn to see Alice. She seems horribly bright and bubbly. "Edward!" She runs up to me and gives me a hug. This is something I had not expected.

"Alice…?" I do not return the embrace out of confusion. "What is this?"

Alice smiles up at me. "I haven't seen you in a while and Bella isn't watching, so I don't have to pretend to completely hate you." Then her face turns to anger. Her delicate hand slaps me.

"I suppose I deserved that one." I do not bother to touch the stinging wound on the side of my face.

"Yes. You deserved that one and more," she glares. "It was nice what you did last night, but stay away from Bella. She's still hurting over what you said about her."

Emmett looks from Alice to me and then back. "I definitely missed something here."

"Jasper," we both say at the same time, Alice with much chagrin.

"Ah." Emmett pretends to understand even though it is clear from the look on his face that he does not. It is at this point Rosalie comes in and tells us that break time is over, her face a little enraged. This is Rosalie the enforcer and the control freak.

Everyone, out of fear, returns to their seat. Bella sits in the chair next to the only empty on in the room. Does she realize that she will be sitting next to me? Does she care? Is she still seething?

As we begin to recite our lines, the passion in her voice is undeniable. I have heard no other actress in Hollywood speak in the way she could speak. The words she said…they were not just 'words'. They were her heart. It was evident…so evident that when she said the lines 'He is my life! I don't just love Heathcliff...I _am_ Heathcliff,' that Rosalie was staring at her with her mouth wide open.

"That's a wrap for today. We're filming that tomorrow." She looked at Bella then. "Can you do _that_ tomorrow?"

Bella laughed. "I better be able to. If I'm not able to, I might be out of a job!" Her smile was infectious…so infectious that I was smiling when she looked over at me. Her face turned cold. "You did a lovely job today, too," she muttered before she stood up.

One of the other actors, the one who would play her brother, James Beckett, immediately strikes up a conversation with her as she makes for Emmett and Alice, who are socializing with Rosalie.

The immediate sense of jealousy and hatred that overtakes me is remarkable again. I can not believe that I feel so strongly toward her. I have half a mind to walk over to where she stands with James and find an excuse to pull her away.

"Bella! I've got a proposition for you!" Rose yells across the room to her. People have already begun to filter out, there is no need to yell. Rose's face does not look excited or even happy. She looks leery. Perhaps I am not the only one that is not thrilled about James speaking with her. Bella bids James goodbye and walks calmly over to Rosalie.

I watch the two of them. At first they speak in hushed tones. There seems to be no cause for alarm in it. They laugh, they smile…and then Rosalie must give her some sort of un-enthusiastic news.

"No!" I can hear Bella clearly say. There are only five people left in the room. Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Bella, and myself. They seem to be completely ignoring my presence. Alice is biting her lip.

"Rosalie…" Alice begins to say something, but Rosalie cuts her off. Her voice is low enough that I can't make out exactly what she is asking Bella to do.

"No!" Bella's voice is more adamant.

"Rose…I think all of us have made Bella's views on this subject quite clear…"

"But, Bella…It's just for the movie…publicity…"

"Rosalie, what part of 'no' do you not understand? There are two letters; it's not a complex word! Do I sound like I'm speaking French to...oh...right...you'd understand me then!" Bella is glaring at Rosalie. Alice takes her lightly by the shoulders. Bella shoves her hands off. "I WILL not go to the dinner with Edward Masen simply so that YOU can get your stupid publicity."

Rosalie and Emmett immediately glance at me. Alice blinks a couple of times and looks from Rosalie to Emmett, to Bella, and only fleetingly at me. She knows there are pieces to a puzzle missing. Bella follows the gaze of Rosalie and Emmett. Her mouth opens for a brief moment before closing. She opens it again, as though she may be able to form a sentence, but fails.

She turns of her heel and almost sprints out of the room. "Bella!" Alice calls after her.

Emmett looks at Rosalie who sighs and waves him off. "She'll need help." Rosalie sits down in a chair and looks at me, rolling her eyes.

I notice for the first time that I felt quite numb over the entire exchange. I cared, yes…but it did not sting as it should have…or how I assumed it should have. Rosalie's voice cuts into my ears. "All of this drama and it's only two o'clock in the afternoon…we only ran the scene, what? Eight times…Everyone had most of it memorized…" She does this when things don't go her way: she finds a silver lining. That makes one of us. She sighs. "Well, go home, Edward. Have fun…do something other than sit in that stuffy study. The books are complaining about having too much company!"

I smile to Rose on my way out. "Can do. I have some errands I need to run." As I lightly shut her office door, I pull out my cell phone and punch numbers. My personal assistant, Angela, usually picks up on the first ring. I see no problem with asking her for a few favors. When she answers with her shy 'hello', I jump straight into the topic at hand.

"Yes. This is Edward Masen. I need for you to arrange to have six dozen roses delivered by this evening."

Angela is silent on the other end. I can imagine her gaping face as I walk out the door into the streets. Despite that it is raining and, overall, gloomy, it still takes a lot of strength to hold back the building laugh in my throat. "Did you just say..."

I cut her off. "Before you ask, yes, I just said six dozen roses. I'll give you the address and the information as soon as you can find my someone who is willing to deliver them."

Angela shyly begins her next sentence. "Can I at least ask who they're for?" I hear her smiling on the other end. I will get teased relentlessly and the tabloids will all know about this in the next few hours if she gets to her other client, Jessica.

"Someone I intend to appologize to if it kills us both." I snap my phone shut as I walk down the street in the opposite direction of my home. I need to think.

There are so many things rushing through my head. My first impulse is to call Emmett and ask him if they found Bella yet. She doesn't know California. What if something happened to her? She could have been raped, murdered, kidnapped...! The horror of anny of those situations would kill me. Short of killing myself, I would find her myself so that I could kill the men who did it to her. I started to run through all of the possible situations she may or may not have gotten herself into when I stumble upon a coffee shop.

In the corner near the widow in a black hooded sweatshirt sits Bella. I recognize her. She's hiding. She has the hood thrown over her head and her hair pulled back, but pieces of it hang out of the hood. She doesn't look suspicious because of the rain. She looks drenched. I stop and watch her. She has some drink in her hands. I begin to wonder if she has been caught by Alice and Emmett. I think about calling them for half a second when I realize I have made my way into the coffee shop.

Bella notices immediately. She doesn't make to get up, rather she sits there, looking at me, studying me. Her wide, innocent eyes are almost pleading that I do something. What does she wish me to do? Does she not want me to sit by her? Does she think I might tell Emmett?

I get in the line to buy something, but I am not too sure what I want. I order black coffee and wait, trying to make sure that Bella doesn't leave. She never does. I walk toward her slowly, as though she is a dog and I need to use extreme caution to avoid being bitten.

I get to the table where she is sitting and I look down at her. "Bella," I say it friendly enough. She barely acknowledges me with a nod. I sit down in the chair across from her. She is staring blankly out the window. There is absolutely no purpose to her staring that I can see. When I speak and she almost drops the cup onto the floor, I realize how lost she was. "Is there anything I can help you with?"

Bella sighs. She turns back toward me. "I just needed some time alone...and I'm sorry if I sounded harsh when I was speaking with Rosalie."

I nod. "That's quite all right...and quite understandable, honestly, given the things I've said." I decide to push my luck. "If I had asked you to go to that dinner, would you have said 'yes'?"

Bella looks at me appalled. "Absolutely, unequivocally, no!" Her words are scathing. "Not if you were the last man on earth." She takes a long drink from the cup in her hands.

"Oh?" I laugh. "I find it amusing that you can be so cordial with someone you profess hatred of."

Bella smirks. "I can play cordial. I'm not completely evil."

My cell phone vibrates. I look at it to see Angela's number and ignore the call. Bella raises her eyebrow and makes to get up. "Maybe you should answer that. She tosses her cup in the trashcan behind her before coming back to lean against the table.

I shake my head and look up at her. "Let me buy you another coffee," I offer. She rolls her eyes. "It was probably just some crazed fan who got hold of my number...or a wrong number."

Bella's hood has fallen back and I can see her entire face. It is bright, optimistic, even through her scathing reply. "Sweetie, the only fan you have is the one hanging from your cieling."

As harsh as it was meant to be, I can't help but laugh. "I deserved that one, too."

Bella shakes her head, tossing her hair around. "You deserve so much more than that one." She must have spoken with Alice. "I should be getting back."

I take her hand gently before she can turn away. There are sparks that fly between our hands. I feel as though I have been scorched. Bella withdraws her hand immediately. I take a deep breath in. "Would you like another cup of coffee?"

Bella shakes her head, her eyes still wide. "I don't drink coffee," she replies in a monotone voice. "See you tomorrow," she mutters before flitting out the door and throwing her hood back over her head.

I watch her run away before I take out my cell and dial Angela back as I toss my half finished coffee. "Sorry, Angela. Here's the address."

**Most definitely horrible! Ha ha. The line about the ceiling fan is not mine. I used it temporarily. If anyone can tell me DEFINITELY where it's from, I would appreciate it because I can't find out...except that I saw it in an icon.**

**Reviews=quotes which will now equal new chapter later today!**

**Again, I am SO sorry it took this long, but YAY DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME IS OVER! And YAY, I found an hour to myself to write!**

**~BlkTgrRdRse  
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	7. Proves Your Words Worthless

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or I would currently be rolling my pile of riches. I don't own the songs, either.**

**As promised, here it is. I don't know if it's my computer or FF, but the uploading is taking forever! The song lyric is from 'A Broken Glass' by Falling Cycle. I've never heard the song. I just liked the lyrics.**

**Thank you for all of the lovely reviews...and the alerts were crazy today! I think I have more Story Alerts than Reviews! And did you know there's a new feature that lets you track what country people who read your stories are from? It's very neat and I'm very tired, I'm sorry.**

Chapter Six

BPOV(You know you missed her)

I walk back to the hotel in the rain. The way that it pounds against my skin is comforting. I let it wash the mascara from my eyelashes, allow it to stain my face. In a small way, it is cleansing.

If I had any skill at dancing, I'd dance in it, but I don't dance. I fall.

I reach the hotel just as Emmett is coming out and I run into him. "Hey, hey…slow down," Emmett says to me as he takes me by the shoulders to steady me. "Where have you been? It's five o'clock!"

"Out," comes my immediate response. I sigh as Emmett raises his eyebrows at me. "Sorry. I was in a coffee shop. I sat in there for a while and then walked all of the way back."

Emmett shakes his head. "Where exactly is this coffee shop?"

"A couple of doors from Rose's office," I respond, thinking nothing of it.

"Do you realize exactly how far you walked?" His eyes are full of surprise. I shake my head. "You walked three miles to get here. That's nothing in a car, but for you!" Now that he mentioned the distance my legs ached and my entire body started to shake with cold. I realized that my cell phone must be drenched and I would have to dry that out later.

"Sorry." I mutter, looking down. Emmett pulls me into the hotel lobby and peels my sweatshirt off.

"Come on. We need to get you up to Alice. Did you ignore all of our calls or did you have your cell phone off again?" Emmett has my sweatshirt draped over his arm and he pulls me into his side as he shoves me through the hallways.

"I don't know…" I say in confusion. I fumble to try to get the phone out of the pocket of my now skin tight jeans. The screen shows seventy-four missed calls. I didn't know a phone could count that high. I flip the phone open and scan through to find my ringer. It's on vibrate. "Apparently ignoring."

Emmett gets to our door and pulls out his wallet to find his key card. I note that he is dressed in a white polo and black jeans. "Going somewhere?" I ask as he opens the door. My teeth are chattering.

"Only you would catch a cold in California," he says, disregarding my question entirely. He ushers me into the room. I hear Alice in the parlor, chatting away nervously on a cell phone.

"Yeah. She just walked in. Thank God. Bye, Rose." Alice rushes me. I don't even know if she hung up the phone. She has her arms around my neck and I'm simply staring at the other side of the room, wide-eyed. "Where have you been! I called you, Emmett called you, Rosalie called you…I even called Jacob to ask him if he had heard from you!" Alice sighs again. She pulls away with her face scrunch up. "Why are you all wet…and shaking! Bella!" Alice went for one of the hotel blankets and wrapped it around my shoulders. "Emmett, where'd you find her?"

Emmett laughed. "Falling into the hotel lobby." He looked at his watch. "I'm going to be late if I don't go soon. Is she okay to be left here with you?"

Alice nods. She sits me down on the bed. "We'll have a girl's night in." She glances at the clock. "It's five-thirty. You're supposed to meet them at six. You better go." Emmett looks toward the door.

"Alice, if you don't want me to leave…"

Alice laughs. "You sound like you don't want to go!"

Emmett ran a hand through his curly black hair. "I haven't seen Jasper in a while, so…it will be good to catch up with him." He looked from me to Alice. "Keep warm, Bells. If you aren't entirely better by the time I get back that means I have to run to the drug store and get the cold and flu medication and I don't really want to do that after drinking." I laugh through my chattering teeth. I drink more than he does and he knows it.

He waves goodbye before walking out the door again. As soon as he's out, I begin the Spanish inquisition before Alice can get me. "Who's Jasper?"

"Ex-boyfriend." She says, turning her back.

"It's not over between you two, is it?" I say, picking up the television control.

Alice turns back to me on the defensive. "You sure ask a lot of questions."

I smile, triumphant for the first time in a long time. "Thought so," I say, flipping through the channels. I see nothing interesting and settle on _The Tudors_ until I realize that I turned it on during a sex scene. The remote immediately flies into my hands to turn the television off. Alice rolls her eyes.

"By the way. There's something in your room you might want to see," she says as she picks up the hotel phone. I open my mouth to protest, but she stops me. "I suggest going now. Oh, and pizza or Chinese? I'm not paying twenty dollars for the tripe they serve in the restaurant."

"Pizza," I say, standing up and going toward the room I'm sharing with Alice. "What is so important that I just have to see it?"

Alice smiles. "You'll see." Her finger scrolls down a page that has been set on the table in the room next to the phone. She pushes numbers with one hand, balances the phone against her shoulder, and keeps her place with her other finger.

I turn away from the balancing act and open the door. I'm hit by an immediate aroma of flowers. I almost sneeze. I have to hold my breath and feel around for the light.

What kind of idiot closes the blinds in the broad daylight when no one is trying to sleep?

Oh, right. Alice.

I flip the light on to find the room covered in roses. Pretty roses. Fragrant roses. This is a rarity. I have gotten very few roses that actually had a scent. They breed the scent out of the roses for those of us with allergies. Too bad, really. The roses smell intoxicating.

"Alice! Did a gift shop explode into the room?" I rave, flipping off the light, pretending to be angry. They're probably from Jacob, trying to make up for not saying 'goodbye'.

"Not really." Alice said. She came to join me in the doorway. "Did you read the card?"

"No," I say, reaching for it. "Jake is so sweet."

Alice pauses, bites her lip and then sighs. "They're not from Jacob."

I pause, the card in my hands. "They're not?"

"Er…no."

"Emmett?"

"No."

"You?"

"No. I have a little better taste than to send you six dozen roses before even having a first date," Alice remarks with a laugh.

"Very funny." I stare blankly at the card. "Rose?"

"No."

"Then who?" I am getting annoyed. I feel like I'm at the butt end of a joke.

"Read the card."

I flip open the white cardstock and my entire body goes into a state of shock.

"Do I get to hear the card?" Alice asks, reaching for the card.

I jerk it away from her. "No."

Alice pouts. "Please?"

"No."

Alice crosses her little arms across her little chest. "It's not like I don't already know who they're from."

"This is…personal…" I mutter.

"Oh?" Alice leans over my shoulder and I'm suddenly thankful that I am six inches taller than she is. Despite everything, I didn't remember that Alice also was about as lithe as a Spider Monkey and could easily jump on my back, knock me to the ground, and run with the cardstock.

This is precisely what she did. What she HAD done at thousands of sleepovers. What I hadn't anticipated.

"To Bella…" Alice begins reading the top of the card.

"No, Alice!" I say, stumbling to my feet. "Please, don't, Alice!"

"'Though I know you won't accept my humblest of apologies,'" she just has to continue, "'I feel that it is my duty to attempt making amends."

"Alice!" I bark, holding my hand out for the card.

"'My humblest apologizes once more. I hope these flowers are at the very least one step toward friendship,'" Alice snorts. "'With sincerity, Edward Masen.'" She pauses for a moment and messes up her face. "'P.S.I don't need ceiling fans. I have people for that?' What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

I burst out laughing. "Nothing, Alice. Really. Inside joke."

Alice raises her eyebrow. "Oh? And when did you two decide to be friendly?"

I shake my head. "He tracked me to the coffee shop this afternoon," I say, sniffling, a stupid smile spreading across my face. "I made some stupid comment and that was his response. Inside joke really."

Alice drops the card and grabs her heart in mock shock. "Call a doctor, Bella Swan has fallen in love with Edward Masen!"

"I do not like him in the least!" I say, attempting a scowl. When his face comes to mind, all hope is lost. "It was just a nice gesture…which I did not accept," I saw, picking up a multi-colored vase and holding it over the trashcan.

Alice stops me. "Look me in the eyes and honestly tell me that you are going to throw them away."

"I'm going to throw them away," I say, looking at the trashcan.

"Oopsies...so now wouldn't be a good time to tell you about his girlfriend?"

The vase slips out of my hands into the trash with a 'crash'. "What?"

Alice twirls her fingers together. "Well…you see…That party that Rosalie wanted you to go to with him…it was…well, everyone there is going to have an escort, most likely. His is probably going to be one of his girlfriends. Either Tanya Denali or Victoria Devre. Actually, those are just random dates that Rosalie has set up through the years, but they're usually his fallbacks."

I glare at Alice. "And you just now saw fit to tell me this?" I ask her.

Alice walks back into the parlor. "You never asked." Someone knocks on the door and cordiality tells me to refrain from murdering her. "I think our pizza is here."

Sometimes I swear that girl has a sixth sense.

My cell phone vibrates. I pick it up. The number is unknown to me, but I know who it is when I get the message even before I see the bottom.

**Emmett says you're ill. Don't run yourself into the ground. Rosalie would have a fit.**

**~Edward**

I tap out a catty 'How did you get this number?' before Alice comes to my shoulder and forces me to put my cell away. I grab a piece of cheese pizza and wolf it down as I wait for my cell to vibrate again.

**Emmett**.

"Bastard," I mutter under my breath and flip my phone shut.

Alice looks up from her pizza. "What?"

"Where did Emmett go tonight?"

"The same bar Rose rented out for drinks with Jasper. Why?"

I scheme. "I need to go for a walk," I say, picking myself up off the hotel floor and making for the door, doing inventory to make sure I have my wallet in case I get murdered on my way there…or trip into a manhole…or a storm drain.

EPOV

Emmett, Jasper, and I sit around the table exchanging jokes. We're trying to get our minds off the day. When there is a lull in conversation, I ask, as casually as I can, "Did Bella ever find her way back to the hotel?"

Emmett nods, looking me directly in the eyes, like a defensive older brother. "She's probably knee deep in those roses right now, attempting to destroy them."

"At least she got them," I say, taking a drink.

"So…I hear Alice Brandon is in town," Jasper says, looking at me.

Emmett shakes his head. "What is with you two trying to go after two women who have no interest at all?"

"Rosalie Hale," Jasper and I say at the same time. Emmett doesn't protest after that.

"She's staying with Bella," I tell Jasper.

"Do you have her number?" Jasper asks.

"Why on earth…?" Emmett begins.

"Rose wants us all to have a date. If I'm getting dragged to some evening party for producers and big wigs, I'm taking someone I'm semi-comfortable around." Jasper says. He is very sensitive to the way that other people feel. He seems to be weighing his options: to call her and get rejected or to never know.

"I would call her," Emmett says, flipping him his cell phone. "She'll giggle like a school girl."

"As if we aren't gossiping like school girls," I mutter.

Jasper stands up to call Alice. I'm sure he'll find an excuse as to why he's calling after so long. It was Alice who broke off their relationship the last time. "What is this, the seventh time?" I ask Emmett.

He shrugs. "I wouldn't be surprised." He takes a drink of his beer. "Are you going with a date tomorrow night?"

I nod. "Victoria."

Emmett shakes his head. "Why on earth…?"

"Rose set it up and she's playing Isabella."

"Ah." Emmett says. "Office politics without the office."

"Yeah." I mutter.

"If you had the chance, would you go with Bella?"

My head snaps up immediately. "Emmett, there is no chance."

"You bicker like a married couple. There is always a chance," he jokes.

I shake my head. "That is one woman that wouldn't give me the time of day."

Emmett looked over my shoulder. "I wouldn't be so sure."

Before I can say anything, I hear the angel speak. "What the hell do you want?"

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**There you go! Reviews=quotes, I promise! Also, good critiques are appreciated.**


	8. In a Very Unusual Way

**Disclaimer: Still owning nothing...though I wish I did!**

**Song is property of the producers, writers, directors and cast of the musical 'Nine'.((Unusual Way is the song.))  
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**Anyhow...I would have had this up last night, too, but decided 'Let's go down for maintenance!' **

***seethes***

**This chapter is an extended phone call for the most part and it's pretty short, I apologize. Possible chapter up later tonight!**

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Chapter Seven

BPOV

"You poured WHAT on him?" Alice is screeching at me on the other end of the phone.

I grimace. I'm glad she can't see my face. "Red wine."

"And he was wearing what?"

I hang my head in shame. "A white shirt."

Alice is taping her fingers audibly on the other end. "And how much did this shirt cost?"

I sigh, exasperated. "I don't know! I'm not a fashion diva like you!"

Alice is talking through her teeth now. "What was the brand name again, Bella. Think really hard. I know this is hard for your fashionless mind to do, but think REALLY hard."

"I don't remember…Marc Jacobs or something like that…"

Alice chokes on the other end of the line. "You're sure?"

I raise an eyebrow, only half aware that she can't see me. "Pretty sure. Why?"

Alice takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. This is her impatient side. "Do you know how much a plain oxford costs from Marc Jacobs?"

"Hundred bucks?" I estimate.

"Two hundred," Alice corrects.

"Big deal," I mutter.

"Big deal?" Alice blanches. I can tell and I can't even see her. That's the bad side of the story. "Red wine doesn't come out!"

"Oh," I say, understanding. "You don't want to be the one to buy him a new shirt?"

Alice sighs. "In a matter of speaking."

I hear a third party in this conversation then. "She did what?"

"Poured wine on Edward," Alice replies to the outraged Rosalie.

"Where'd she get the wine?" Rosalie asks, amused.

"She was in a bar."

"She was drunk?"

"Far from it."

"For God sakes, you two! I'm right here!" I yell into the phone.

Rosalie picks up the phone. "Ok…tell your troubles to Rose. Why did you pour wine on him in the first place?"

I begin to talk through my teeth. "He brought up that article…and he has my cell phone number!"

Rosalie laughs. "You throw a drink at a guy over a cell phone number," I growl. "In my defense, I didn't give it to him!"

"You don't have it!" Alice says.

"Precisely!" Rosalie laughs.

I become disgruntled. "Will you focus on my problems for once!"

"Yeah, yeah…" Rosalie begins. "Tell him you're sorry and then throw more wine on him." Rosalie jokes.

"I am NOT saying I'm sorry!" I hesitate. "And I won't have that opportunity because I was kindly asked never to show my face in the bar again…actually, not in so many words…ok, so not at all, but I won't go back again out of embarrassment."

Rosalie seems to be floundering for words. "You won't go back over an incident with wine? I guarantee that happens all of the time. It's in too many movies for someone not to get the…"

"No, no, no," I say. "I kind of…started…" I mumble.

Rosalie giggles on the other end of the line before going into full blown hysterics. "Here, Al. Take the phone. I can't listen…"

Alice has the phone next. "What happened?"

"She started a bar brawl!" Rosalie laughs in the background.

"In my defense, I learned a valuable lesson: don't yell 'What the hell do you want' in a bar!" I say, hoping to win Alice over with humor.

Alice takes a deep breath. "Where are you now?"

As if the beeping of monitors did not give it away before, "I'm at the hospital."

Alice is unfazed. "You got hurt?"

I bite my lip. "No…Edward got a bottle to the back of the head…"

"So now I'm paying the bastard's medical bills!?" Alice raves on the other line.

"Alice!" I say, lowering my voice as the nurse on the other side of the reception desk stares in my general direction. There is no one else in the waiting room, so I know she's staring at me. "It's not as bad as it sounds…well, actually…there was a lot of blood and I stayed in the waiting room because I almost passed out when I saw it…but other than that, it's fine!"

"Fine!?" Alice begins to rave again.

Rosalie takes the phone. "Listen, Bella. Do what you have to do, but shooting starts at seven a.m. with or without you. What condition is Edward in?"

I chew my lip. "He needs stitches…lots of stitches…Emmett's in the back with him. I don't know what all is wrong. Jasper had to go home to tie up some loose ends. He said he'd call you with a status report?"

Rosalie takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I'm postponing the press party until at least next week then. I'll send out a general announcement and publish it. If we're lucky we might be able to cut a few scenes between now and then so that I can spice it up a bit," Rosalie is nervous now as she recounts what she needs to do. I assume that this must be what all nervous people do: practice for the real thing. "Try to get some sleep and get back here soon, ok?"

I nod before remembering that they cannot see me on the other end of the line. "Will do."

"Au revoir, ma cherie," Rosalie says in a light voice before hanging up as Alice raved in the background.

I decide to follow part of the advice and lay down on the vinyl bench I'm on. Sleep would not come easily. I knew this. Edward had been the one to keep me from getting hurt. He'd pulled me into his chest and when some guy tried to wrench me away, he's the one who punched them. He would be plastered all over the tabloids tomorrow for 'saving me'. I wondered at the headline.

'Edward Masen saves Ill-reputable Broadway actress'

No, better: 'Edward Masen sued for disorderly conduct.'

Or worse: 'Isabella Swan pours wine on Edward Masen.'

Anyway I looked at it, I was screwed. My head had been served up on a silver platter to the paparazzi.

I sighed and nuzzled farther into the couch. Next time I saw Edward, I would apologize…

I would seize his mouth with my own before…

Wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm too tired. I don't even know where that came from!

Focus on one thing, Bella. Sleep.

Sleep.

Sleep is a good thing…

I must have dosed off because the next thing I hear is Edward's soft voice. "Should I wake?" I assume he's asking Emmett.

"No," Emmett's booming voice sounds. "I'll carry her out to the car."

I wait, tensed, for Emmett to pick me up. "Allow me," I hear the silken voice of Edward say. I feel myself lifted up lightly into someone's arms, tucked into their chest. I feel safe. I don't feel like I'm going to be dropped.

"You sure you can do that, man?" Emmett sounds very concerned. "They've got you on painkillers, still…what if you…"

"I won't hurt her," Edward says, his voice just above a whisper.

I barely open my eyes. "Edward?" I ask, groggily.

"Yes, Bella," Edward says. His voice is still soft.

"I can walk," I say as my eyes drift shut again.

Emmett immediately reacts. "No, you can't Bella. You're falling back to sleep as we speak."

"I'll walk…" I mumble. I would walk to the car. It wasn't that far. How far had Edward carried me already?

"Here," Emmett's voice rang out. I could tell we were outside. "I'll take her."

"No," Edward sounds defensive.

"Let Emmett…carry me…" I mumble. Even so, I adjust myself against Edward's chest. I'm probably dreaming this whole thing, anyhow. Might as well royally screw up and act like a drunken teenage girl while I can.

"Bella, I won't drop you," he says. His voice has a small amount of humor to it.

"I want Emmett to carry me," I mutter.

"I won't drop you," he repeats, as though he is reassuring himself this time.

"You just don't want him touching me," I mumble, my head spinning. I feel the lack of sleep weigh heavily on my brain and find the joke is waster, even on myself.

I feel Edward's chest rumble, as though he might laugh. This is a feeling I know well from being curled up with Jake on the coach watching various chick flicks. "Of course, Bella. Because I will hold you here all night if I have to, if only to make sure he can't touch you again!" I can just see him rolling his eyes at me.

"I'm tired," I whisper.

I feel myself being lifted into a car and laid across the back seat. "Emmett, you can carry her in, I trust?" I hear Edward say. Emmett must nod because the door closest my head is closed. There is talking outside the car, but I don't listen. I just drift off to sleep once more.

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**This is a semi-true story. I fell asleep in the hospital when my friend had to go in and I was 'there for moral support' and because I felt responsible for her. My brother had to carry me out to the car as I semi-consciously mumbled something about penguins and how sorry I was.**

**Penguins thrown in for dramatic effect, but, still!**

**Review=quote and I will try to get one from the middle. My friend noticed I picked quotes from the end, basically because those are easier to pull out of context and they make no sense. I'm going to try to switch it up again this time!**

**Thank you for reading this through chapter seven, you guys!**

**~BlkTgrRdRse  
**


	9. Everyday, You're in My Head

**Disclaimer: IF I owned it, I would be rolling in the 70.5 million the movie made this weekend while rejoicing that I could retire happily at a young age. I don't own any of the songs or lyrics, otherwise I would, in most cases, be a man or several men.  
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**Anyhow, sorry guys. I got so caught up that I couldn't write this at all. But it's here now! I had a half finished chapter for two weeks, I swear! I should have up the next chapter before Christmas, though(I'm kidding. It better be up before then or I will have lost my audience!)! Maybe even as a Thanksgiving gift! ((Hinthint...check your e-mails on Wednesday. If nothing else, I will post a preview of a dinner with Edward and Bella. I can see food flying now...))**

**Ok...This chapter's title is taken from "All I Ever Wanted" by the Swedish DJ Basshunter!**

**And now on with your feature chapter!  
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Chapter Eight

EPOV

"Tabloids are interesting this morning," Rosalie says as she walks under the canopy. "You see them?"

"No, Rosalie, but I have a feeling that you're going to tell me." I sighed, rubbing my forehead.

" 'Drunk Isabella Swan starts bar brawl with Edward Masen,'" Rosalie says, shaking her head.

"Ah," I say. Not far from the truth, actually…

"I think this movie is going South already," Rosalie sighs. She runs her leather gloved hand through her blonde waves.

"But it gets free publicity," I say with a smirk. Rosalie ignores my comment.

"I didn't know it could rain for two days straight!" Rosalie raves. She looks at me. "Where is your coat?" The rest of the cast is in their rain coats and light weight jackets over their period clothing. Me, I'm sitting under the canopy with the filming equipment in period clothing only.

"I left it with Bella last night. She doesn't need to be getting any sicker than she is," I said, defending my justification.

Rosalie smirked, slyly. "She's probably holding it to her face, inhaling your intoxicating scent." She makes exaggerated motions with her hands, as though she is fanning herself.

"Knock it off, Rose," I say, seeing Bella come around the corner of her trailer. She has the leather coat draped over her shoulders, the white dress she is wearing shielded from the rain as she lets her hair get soaked in the rain. Alice walks with her, holding a bright pink umbrella over herself, as she attempts to talk Bella under it. She is chattering away, happily, her spiky hair bouncing as she happily bounded around beside Bella. Bella seems to be lost in a world that no one else can see.

"Oh, sorry," Rose says, her voice filled with a joke that I do not understand. "I'll stop picking on your girlfriend now." Before I could comment, she was off speaking to Victoria a few feet away, much to my revulsion.

I lay my head back in the chair I am sitting in, closing my eyes. Everyone is waiting to see is Rosalie makes the call to shoot in the rain or if she calls it a day. I myself am personally hoping it will be called a wrap so that I can go get sleep.

I hear Bella calling me in a panicked frenzy. "Edward!" I snap my head up, almost jumping out of the chair.

"What happened?" I ask her, very calmly, looking at her panicky expression.

"You can't sleep yet! Symptoms of a concussion might not show up for twenty-four hours!" She takes my face between her hands and starts lightly touching my stitches. I wince, trying to reassure her that I am perfectly fine, actually taking her wrists and lightly removing her hands from the sides of my face. She rambles about other symptoms of concussions and says she was speaking with Emmett and he had told her they had to remove a piece of glass.

"Bella," I say, calmly, smiling. "I slept perfectly fine last night. I promise. I'm alright."

"No headache?" Bella looks deranged. Now that I see her up close, her layered hair does not look brushed, though it is characteristically messy. "No dizziness? Ringing in ears? Nausea? Loss of consciousness? Do you feel drunk?"

"No, no, no, no, only when I slept last night, and I hope not," I reply. I have to smirk, amused.

"Sensitivity to light or noise? Mood or cognitive disturbances?" Bella looks me over like she is a doctor appraising a patient.

I stand up from my chair. "You know, you're starting to sound like my doctor, or my father one. I think you may have spent a little too much time in the emergency room last night." I barely notice that her delicate hands are still placed in mine. She looks so much more breakable this morning than she did last night.

Alice giggled. "Her entire life has been spent in an emergency room."

"Alice, be kind," I hear Rosalie's sultry voice say. "It isn't her fault she can't do any place without starting a fight." They both laugh and Rose mutters something to Alice under her breath.

"I'll be right back, Bella. Emmett has reported for duty. You'll be fine, I'm sure, but, if you need me, just yell, ok?" Alice pats Bella on the shoulder and gives me a desperate glance and then walks off.

Emmett is now standing, an ever looming figure, close to Bella. He looks concerned. "Emmett, can you please…leave us for a minute? I promise I'll be fine."

Emmett's face grows stern. "Bella, you're dead on your feet! Even I know you only had about two hours of sleep last night. You stayed in the sitting room and wouldn't even touch the bed room door!"

"I can't sleep in hotel beds for too long," she says, immediately jumping to her defense. "We're moving into the apartment by next week, right? I'll be better then." She looks at me and smiles weakly. I have known her for three days and I can already see that this one does not reach her eyes. "Besides, Edward will protect me." She mutters something under her breath. To the best of my knowledge it was 'since he did _such_ a good job'.

Emmett hesitates before nodding and walking off. He stays close by, though and watches Bella like a hawk. I wonder what it is about her that makes everyone so protective. Perhaps it is just the way she looks today, so fragile that the wind could blow her to pieces.

"Bella, if you were ill you should have told Rosalie that you needed to rest," I say, running the back of my hand over her forehead, checking to see if she had a fever. She pulls violently away.

"There are many things in life that I cannot tolerate and one of them is pity," Bella says with as much bravado as she can muster. She coughs before she continues. "Edward, I am so sorry."

"You don't need to worry about me, Bella. You need to rest," I say, helping her to sit gently in the chair I had vacated. I pull the jacket closer around her.

"I should return this to you," she says. "Alice told me that it was a two thousand dollar jacket and that I probably shouldn't even touch it." She shrugs out of it and stands up before saying, her voice filled with sarcasm, "You know this is all your fault, right?"

I smirk. "Pray, tell," I can't help having to hold back my laughter.

"If you hadn't stolen my cell phone number, none of this would have happened."

I roll my eyes. "If you hadn't poured the wine on me, it wouldn't have happened, either."

She h as her back turned to me and I see it tense. "What kind of bar serves wine, anyway?" She glares at me, as though it is my fault the bar serves wine. "Who orders wine at a bar? Daiquiri, screwdriver…sure, that I get, but, honestly! A glass of red wine?!" Her voice is defensive.

"Someone with a very sophisticated pallet," I say, jokingly, still.

"Someone without a brain," she is on the offensive now. _I_, personally, begin to take offense.

"Are we referring to you now?"

Bella's eyes widen. "Excuse me?"

"Maybe if you had used your brain, you would have remembered your surroundings." I try to keep my tone light. I don't want to insult her, rather show my concern…and insult her.

Bella glares. "Maybe if you'd used _your_ brain you would have known your text messages could be legally considered a form of harassment."

I smirk, darkly. "Maybe if it meant that much to you, you would have saved the text messages."

"How do you know I didn't?" Bella asks, eyes narrow, shoulders square.

"You're a very good actress, but you can't lie very well," I say, shaking my head, the dark smirk still in place.

Bella scrambles for words. Emmett is looking at both of us helplessly, as though trying to decide whether he needs to break up our fight or let it run its course. He starts to walk over to us under the canopy as Bella's mouth opens and closes like a fish fighting for more air.

I finally see her resolve, her face pulling into a powerful resilience. "Go to Hell," she glares, strutting off. The action would have been more effective…if she hadn't tripped and fallen in the mud…in her white dress…a dress which Rosalie Hale had had commissioned in a Paris fashion house…

Emmett picks her up out of the mud, for which I am increasingly thankful as the painstaking day wears on. Rosalie sent the dress off to be bleached and dry-cleaned, telling wardrobe to break out a spare, something she had strategically prepared for Bella. She sent Bella home to have a shower and gave us an early lunch, though she seemed very frustrated.

I sit back in the chair, draping the jacket over the arm. I smell the sweet honeysuckle perfume the Bella was wearing on the jacket.

Why was it that I had to be the idiot?

Alice comes over to my side and is intently watching me from over my shoulder. "I told you: chocolates. Men can do no wrong with chocolates. Text messages are where they go wrong."

It suddenly occurs to me that Alice's presence is something I had not counted on. "Shouldn't you be with Bella?"

Alice shook her head. "Nope." She shrugs. "I was speaking with Rose and making the finishing arrangements on getting the things moved into the penthouse. I'm glad I found one furnished. I would loathe the prospect of living on completely rented furniture."

I shake my head. "Only you, Alice. Only you," I smile at her. "So, I take it you will be moving in early?"

Alice nods. "I got an urgent call from the fashion house in New York. One of my clients insists that the dress I _just_ fitted before I came here no longer fits and she refuses to speak to anyone but me! The Diva," she mutters.

I raise an eyebrow. "So you are also in the fashion industry now? Entertainment, fashion…you're quite a jack of all trades." I move the coat a little to smell more of Bella's honeysuckle scent.

"Actually, the fashion house hired me. It's more of a full time thing and this whole agent gig is a part time thing. Plus, fashion pays better and I don't have to pretend to know what I'm talking about the majority of my time," Alice admits her ignorance in such a matter-of-fact way that I almost laugh. Almost.

"When is the move? Where is your apartment going to be now?"

"Already happened and 417 Hill Street," Alice says, checking her cell phone. "I wanted a place for Bella to stay before I went off to New York. She'd get herself into too much trouble alone in that hotel." She sighs.

"She has Emmett," I gently remind her.

Alice looks at me skeptically. "The man who took her to the motel to shower and made comments that got him slapped? He's not better than a six year old." I have to laugh at that. "Think of leaving a six year old alone in a posh hotel. All of the things that can happen are absolutely terrifying!"

I have to agree with her there. "Bella could have stayed with Rosalie, or myself, of course."

Alice snorts. "That would be the death of you both." Her phone starts to ring and she has to pick up. I hear her ranting about how the person on the other end is an inconsiderate fool.

I sigh. I had been a bit over presumptuous, hadn't I?

To think that Bella Swan could forgive me with roses strewn upon her…

I had to make amends…somehow.

Bella seemed to be a wine connoisseur. She knew a great deal about alcohol. That seemed to be the only thing which we COULD find common ground on. I'm sure she honestly could appreciate the wine…

I call Angela once again.

"Ah, Edward…What did you do to make the lady mad so soon?" She laughs on the other end at me.

"Angela, is there any chance of getting hold of Chateau Petrus, '82 vintage?"

Angela is frozen on the other end. "Is there some kind of celebration?" She seems confused and dazed.

"No," I say. "It's a…present…"

"Boss…that wine is ten thousand dollars a bottle…"

"I'll pay for it, Angela." I mutter. "Just get it sent to this address," I ramble to her. She still seems stunned.

"Are you positive?" Angela's voice on the other end seems a bit unsure.

"Yes, Angela. I'll make sure that it gets delivered if I don't get the confirmation e-mail from you," I threaten. "I'll e-mail the apartment number to you so that you can make sure all of the information is correct." I trust Angela. I know she'll send it. It might sound insane, but it will get there with Angela as the puppeteer.

"Thank you, Angela," I say, very relieved.

Angela seems monotone on the other end. "No problem, Mr. Masen." I hear her typing away on her keyboard. "I'll see what I can do."

"Remind me to give you a raise," I say, slightly jokingly.

"Can do. It's almost Christmas. I could use it," she laughed.

I would have to wait until Bella received it to know if the wine had had it's desired effects, but, all going well, she would be much better tempered in the morning. She would have forgiven me already. I sighed.

She would never forgive me for this. I had struck her one too many times. If I had not insulted her without even seeing her, if only then…perhaps I could have had her beside me, to hold. Perhaps there would be a day I would marry her. Perhaps there would be a day when I would feel her tiny frame pressed against mine as I made love to her.

But that future had been completely taken away from me by my tongue.

I open my cell phone again and punch in Angela's number again. "Sorry, Angela…any chance of getting Godiva with that wine?"

I hear the smile in Angela's voice when she speaks. "One step ahead of you, Mr. Masen, sir."

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**I'm thinking about just making Angela a permanent 'I'm smarter than you' character. Her and Alice should totally play matchmakers...That could almost work. Ha ha.**

**Anyhow, I wrote the next chapter before I even started this story's beginning, so I have a quote ready for you!**

**Reviews=quotes! I happen to love this audience very much because of your awesome reviews! Keep it up!**

**Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans in the instance that I don't get the dinner parody up or can't edit the next chapter. ((I wrote it on my cell phone. Give me a break! Ha ha.))**

**~BlkTgrRdRse  
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	10. Can't Make It Through the Night

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, I might already have it on DVD so I wouldn't have to pay ten bucks to watch it again, would I? The concept is the only thing that belongs to me...and the story...but Bella and the gang, no...not mine. Chapter titles are from songs which I do not own, either...or I'd be a man in all cases...**

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING!**

**You guys get a late update one hour before Thanksgiving ends! (Sorry about that...)**

**But, on the bright side, it would have been up sooner, but after about five pages of Bella I wrote three of Edward to give you!**

**YAY!**

**Ok...I have to mention these two reviews and reviewers. I would dedicate this chapter to them, but I'm not sure how they'll like it.  
**

**CullenCrest and Melferd...first of all because I admire CullenCrest...A-for not spamming me and B-for predicting part of the storyline and then Melferd for giving Bella an Uzi and Edward a shovel and making me laugh when I REALLY needed it...I will be confiscating all Uzis in the next chapter...hopefully someone will take care of that shovel.**

**Onto your present!**

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**Chapter Nine

BPOV

I hate the penthouse.

It's not that it isn't open enough. It's too big. There's too much room. I can't believe furniture can take up the place. There are two 'official' bedrooms, but Emmett has taken it upon himself to convert half of the 'Great' Room into a living space for himself.

Alice has dibs on the master suite.

I'm stuck in the small bedroom.

On the bright side, the room is secluded from everything else. I could pretty much do whatever I wanted to in here, aside from paint the walls, and I would never get found out…except that it is also right next to the front door.

I think I have been pouting on the huge black leather sofa since Emmett brought me home from the shoot and told me that Alice had to leave on a business errand, a plane flight and a long distance phone call away.

I'm having problems with men and the one time Alice isn't here to offer her two cents on the matter, usually 'you're an idiot', I actually need her.

Emmett didn't think it was a good time to tell me until about eight o'clock when we got home. I'm not exactly very happy with him.

Emmett doesn't believe I can cook. He ordered Chinese on the way here because he was convinced that I would terminally injure myself using a knife and the stove. As if I didn't cook for Charlie in Forks every single day I spent there.

Someone knocks on the door and, seeing as Emmett is preoccupied on the phone with someone, I assume of the female variety and I assume their name begins with 'Rosalie' and ends with 'Hale', I yell "I'll get it," as I walk to the door.

I look through the peep hole, assuming it's the Chinese or some teenager who gets a sick thrill out of knocking on my door and running.

I'm wrong on both counts. It's the guy from the main lobby reception desk. He looks very nervous and his arms are laden with gifts. The first thing that flashes through my head is 'beware Greeks bearing gifts'.

"Yes?" I ask him, innocently.

"This is the residence of Ms. Isabella Swan, yes?" He doesn't seem to like the prospect.

"Yes…"

"Good!" he says, thrusting the gifts into my arms. "Make sure you get the card." He almost sprints away.

I look in confusion at the packages in my arms. I back into the doorway and shut the door with my hip, walking the packages to the kitchen and setting them on the table. Godiva gift baskets are not my cup of tea as I'm not a Godiva fan…but the basket is one of the largest ones I've ever seen. I give it a hundred bucks. I take the wrapping off the bottle of wine, looking at the make.

I almost choke on air.

Chateau Petrus sells for a grand when it's new. This bottle is 1982 vintage. That adds a chunk of change to the price tag immediately.

A nice nine grand chunk of change to be precise.

I wonder who would have sent me alcohol since Emmett and Alice were yanking away drinks as soon as they saw them set near me.

The other thing is what tips me off.

Four dozen roses are in a beautiful clear, cut glass vase. I frown and pick up the vase to dispose of the roses before Emmett sees them and ribs me about it. The card with the gifts flutters to the floor and I merely ignore it. I hear Emmett pick up the Chinese from the front door as I grab two wine glasses. He's getting the Chinese set up on the coffee table in the living room in front of the flat screen…which he had shipped in from New York…courtesy me.

Why did I do that? I would be spending my dinners from now on being forced to watch football, baseball, and

"I think Alice is bad luck!" I say, laughing, as I balance the bottle of wine and the two glasses. "Emmett! We've hit pay dirt!" I laugh as I wave the vintage wine in his face.

Emmett almost throws the Chinese on the table before rushing toward me to take the wine out of my hands. "Why do you have this?" Emmett asked, waving the wine in my face this time.

"It was a gift!" I say, defensively. He's debating what he wants to do with it now. I can see him. The gears are definitely turning in Emmett's head. "Come on, Em. It's a ten thousand dollar bottle of wine. One drink wouldn't hurt."

That was when he decided that he needed to lock the bottle up under the sink in the kitchen. I didn't know the teddy bear could move that fast! He wrenched it from my grasp and had it under the sink faster than I could react. "Emmett!" I whine.

"I know you, Bells." Emmett glares at me. "One drink turns into seven within an hour," he says it lightly, but, in a way, with Emmett saying it, it becomes very threatening.

I cross my arms across my chest, glasses still in my hand. "Emmett, I'm better now. That was me then. This is me now. I want one drink." His wary look tells me I'm probably not going to be getting any of that wine. "You know, the longer you keep it from me the more wasted I'm going to go out and get when you're not looking. Proven psychological fact. For instance, did you know if you put an alcoholic in a room of…"

"Bella," Emmett says, shaking his head. "I'm not interested in your psychology theories at all. Let's go have dinner and forget about the wine, alright?"

Emmett saying 'forget about' anything was as good as saying 'over my dead body'. I sighed, but reluctantly joined him in the living room for crab rangoons and a rather enjoyable football game. It was only enjoyable because I understood what was going on, not because I actually was a sports fan.

Emmett bought Alice and I tickets to see the Giants play the Colts in New York. Alice was worried the entire week about what to wear…and I was worried about avoiding the ball. Apparently one of Emmett's friends in a part owner of the team, which is how he got the tickets for us. Pretty awesome, actually. Emmett had a budding career in pro football once. He told me about it, but he finally decided that none of it was worth it. He was always looking out for himself because he knew if he got hurt once it was all over for the rest of his life.

It didn't sound like the kind of life I would be willing to live. Then again, I was under contractual obligation to stay a size six until I got this movie done with…I should probably lay off the rangoons.

I take it upon myself to scrub the excess sweet and sour sauce off the dishes in the kitchen after we eat. Emmett is on the phone while I'm out of the room. I was seriously considering checking in with Alice before he hung up, but, as I saw him walk by, I had to smile, knowingly.

"Where are you off to?" I smirk.

"Out," Emmett says.

"With whom?" I knew he wasn't going out for drinks with Edward and Jasper…who I had only met briefly. I'm sure I made a lasting impression.

"Rose." I open my mouth to comment but he puts a hand in the air. "No, Bella. We're just going for a drink and maybe some dancing. No smart-alek comments."

"Have fun!" I say, smiling. As he walks toward the door I sigh. I'm alone again. Ignored…invisible.

"I could bring Rose back over here…"

"No, Emmett," I laugh. "Go. Have fun! Do it for me! I'll be fine alone. I always have been!" I have to laugh again at him.

Emmett still seems unsure. "I'll call if I need anything," I promise, hoping to not delay his departure so that I might be able to think. Even if thinking was dangerous because thinking led to Edward Masen, I would gladly think on this situation.

"You're sure you'll be alright?"

"Em!" I snap. "Go. Rose doesn't wait." He nodded, still not comforted, but he was a bit more confident, at least I was finally alone.

I did most of my thinking while I did dishes.

Yes, me doing dishes without dropping them. Very funny, I know.

My mind wandered. It wandered back to the hospital, which inevitably lead me to thinking about Edward…his full lips, his blazing green eyes…his lips against mine…which never happened. Eventually, it would. And both parties would feel disgusted.

Wouldn't they?

Of course we would! We hate each other! I hated him. He felt the same way about me!

Then why had he left me wrapped in his jacket?

Because he's nice! That's why. He might not like me, but he could be sickeningly sweet. It was called 'being cordial'. I sighed. I hated cordialness. You always expect both parties to follow the terse rules of engagement, perhaps throwing verbal daggers at each other, but you never expected a diatribe…and that was what cordiality turned into always.

Both parties could never be on the same terms. That was how it worked. One of us has to like the other and it sure as hell is not going to be me! I am determined to make myself hate him completely and entirely!

Very completely and entirely!

It had started raining during dinner. I hated the rain. It never rained when I was with my mother in Arizona. In Forks, however, it rained all of the time. I had learned to ignore the rain for the past seven years. I would ignore it now, I decided. But the rain seemed too dark…too much like a work of Poe. That merely added to the morose mood as I thought about Edward Masen.

By the time the dishes were done, I had a conspiracy theory in my head where Edward Masen was trying to get me to quit purposely. I was waiting for him to just throw his hands up in the air and surrender before I knew I would have to. And, as fragile as I could be, I knew I would eventually give up…it was just a matter of how much I was willing to give first.

But…maybe I could give up on this game and make my own rules. Maybe I could quit and have absolutely nothing terrible happen to me afterward. Yeah…that would be truly terrible.

Is it a horrible sin to give up because of an abused pride?

Is it so wrong to give up after a much injury?

Is it such a travesty to finally admit failure?

Can I do that?

I never had...had I? Yes, I had. But I felt horribly insulted then...but was that my fault?

The rain pounds harder against my window. Ha ha, God, very funny.

Was it so wrong for me to give up?

No! I can't give up! That means admitting defeat! I don't admit defeat! You admit defeat and you have already lost! I will not be forced away!

God, needed a drink.

No. I had to remain sober in order to think through this rationally. But it would be easier to make a decision behind the mask of alcohol. But I couldn't think drunk!

Leave it to my mind to think of the ten grand bottle of wine under the kitchen cabinet. He didn't know about my alcohol problem, so it wasn't his fault that he had handed me to the wolves. He didn't realize I'd already gone to so many therapy sessions about my 'problem'.

Thank God he didn't know! When Alice walked in to find me wasted, or dead, depending on how much of a kick that drink had, sure, I'd be back in the best rehab center LA had to offer. But, hell, it would be worth it! I knew then. That night I had an appointment with the entire bottle of wine and I planned on drinking it.

After the first sip, the hole in my stomach disappeared. It tasted of ambrosia. They didn't sell it for ten grand and not make it taste at least palatable. I was just glad that it was good. Cheap alcohol was nothing to be trifled with on a night like this.

An hour later, I'm feeling pretty good. I'm not drunk, rather buzzed, but I can think pretty coherently. I'm thinking clearer than I was. As a matter of fact, I don't want to quit anymore. Far from it. I'm actually considering trying to force Edward to leave instead of me.

But, I've still got a problem. I don't know whether getting rid of him is a good thing to do. Maybe I should quit. But I'm too prideful to do that. So...now that the first and second steps have passed, denial and admitting I have a problem, now I go to get help!

I trip my way to my cell on my coffee table. I wonder if this is an indication of my BAC. Probably not. I would have tripped anyhow.

I fumble with the phone, flipping through my address book.

Alright. So...who do I call when I need to talk out a problem?

If I call Alice she'll just be over here like a bat out of Hell in her little yellow Porche. That leaves Emmett, who would beat the fire out of me, and Rosalie, who would laugh at how drunk I was and blab everything I said to Edward.

That leaves very few options for me. So, I find the first number I come to that will not have any obvious repercussions and I wait.

As soon as someone answers, I'm actually surprised. I did not expect for Jacob to answer this late at night in New York. When I hear the voice on the other end, I realize why they answered: the man on the other end is not Jacob.

"Hello?" The velvet voice on the other end must think he's as crazy as I think I am. I didn't mean to dial his number, but something in the back of my throat wells up and I start to talk.

"Why the fuck did you give me alcohol?" I feel embarrassed for calling him. That's only half of it. I feel embarrassed for being so inebriated that I probably can't even form a complete sentence correctly. I think I said that correctly…

Edward Masen seems amused on other end of the phone. I wonder if my words are horribly slurred. I know that the room seems to be spinning. "I'm sorry, Bella?" he says this as though there are truly no words he can use to respond. "Perhaps you can tell me of other preferences you have…though you appear to have been enjoying the wine?"

"Hell, yes! And that's the problem!" I yell at him.

"Why is that a problem?" Edward Masen is almost laughing at me. Shows how I rate. Then again, I'm drunk.

I stumble and end up falling into the couch as the world continues to spin. I don't know if I make noise when I land on the couch. I don't really remember much of anything. Edward's voice in my ear actually scares me. Oh, yes. I was talking to him, wasn't I?

"Bella?"

"Huh?" I ask. I try to pull myself into a sitting position on the couch.

"Bella, what happened?" I hear him getting up. I assume he is getting out of bed. I don't know where he was. Had we discussed that?

"I fell…" I slur something completely unintelligible. I don't even remember what I was trying to say.

"Bella!" Edward sounds panicked. "Bella, where are you?"

"Home," I murmur, finally managing to sit up. "I'm…safe."

"Bella, how much did you have to drink?"

I lean forward trying to get the bottle of wine and I fall into the coffee table. I hear something crack…I assume it was the wood because the glass didn't look broken.

"Bella?"

"I'm fine!" I snap. I grasp the bottle and look at it. There's probably enough left for one more drink. I'm guessing maybe five ounces are left. If that much. I try to remember if I drank from the bottle or a glass. I'm thinking the bottle. There is bright red lipstick all over the top of it. I don't remember putting make-up on, though, and since I'm sure there isn't anyone else in the penthouse…

"Bella?"

"What?"

"Answer my question!" Edward Masen can sound fierce? Funny. His voice is so smooth and velvety…

"I'm sorry," I slur, rubbing my forehead, trying to stand up. "What was it?"

"How much have you had to drink?"

"I don't know," I reply.

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Edward growls. "Is anyone there with you?"

"No," I say. "And I don't…know…how much was in the bottle."

Edward seems more concerned than he previously was. "Stay on the phone with me Bella. Ok? Try to stay awake. Are you tired?"

"Uh…" I look at the clock, but the numbers are too blurry for me to read. I try to pull myself up on the arm of the white couch. "Kind of," I reply. My body is very hard to control. I know I should probably sleep this off soon. This will be a bad hang over. My lungs have to struggle to breathe.

"Don't go to sleep, Bella. Fight to stay awake. Try to remember this for me, did you drink the entire bottle of wine?" Edward's voice is very pretty.

"No…there's a bit left…do you want me to save it for you? I can bring it to work in the morning…" I say, struggling to hold the phone against my shoulders as I pull myself up.

"Yes, Bella. I'm coming over to your pent house right now. Do you know if the door is locked?"

"Yeah," I mutter. I stand after a couple of attempts, but my legs feel like they are Jell-O attached to my body.

"Go unlock it, Bella. Ok? I know it's not safe, but…"

"I'm going…" I mutter. I'm angry with him for making me get up. I'm also angry that he wants me to save the rest of that bottle of wine. It was very good. I could have topped it off and been fine.

I make it to the door and fall against it. This time I know it makes a sound. It's loud. I hurt afterward.

"Bella!" Edward yells at me.

"I'm sorry," I sob. I don't know why I'm sobbing. I don't know anything. Edward's voice is the only thing keeping me anchored to the earth at the moment.

"Bella, don't be sorry. Unlock the door, Bella. Just stay awake. Do that for me."

"Where are you?" I sob.

"I'm a couple minutes away. I'll be there as soon as I can. Stay awake, Bella," he says. His voice is soothing now. It's like a lullaby.

I stumble away from the door. "I'm going to the living room," I say. I'm not sure why I feel the need to tell him where I'm going, but I do.

"Good. Bella, keep talking. Why did you drink the wine?"

"I…" I try to remember. My tongue is loose. I know it's loose. I probably shouldn't say why…but my mouth can't be controlled. "I was thinking about you," I say, slurring the words. If he even understood what I was saying, it would have been a miracle. "I was trying to figure out…why you hated me…and how you didn't know about my alcohol problem…" I ramble. "And I was thinking about how you were trying to make me quit…"

"Bella," Edward's voice sounds pained. "I'm so sorry…I wasn't trying to make you quit, Bella…keep talking…tell me…where's Emmett?"

I stumble toward the couch and I fall. The room is spinning. I manage to keep the cell phone by my ear. "Bella!"

"What?" I ask, as I struggle to get up again.

"Where's Emmett?" He sounds enraged.

"With Rosie…Rosie…that's a pretty name…why is her name 'Rosalie'? Do you know, Edward? She told me you were her cousin…"

"Bella, just keep trying to stay awake. I'm in front of your building now. I'm coming upstairs, I promise."

I stand and I try to walk. "I'll be by the door…" as I walk, I fall again, but this time, the world isn't just spinning…the world falls. I remember hitting the ground, but I don't remember anything else. I remember the phone wasn't in my hand and I was scared…but I could hear Edward's voice…he was yelling at me again.

My last thought before my world went black:

I hate that man and his screaming…he'll wake me up…

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EPOV

"Bella!" I am screaming in the phone. I've run up eleven flights of stairs.

All for Bella, I would run up twenty more.

Bella doesn't answer. I keep yelling her name the entire way through the halls. Her penthouse is at the back, according to the strategically placed signs. As this is a pricey apartment complex, it was amazing that they even let me through the front doors.

Name power helps, though. I will not deny it.

I knock on the door first, yelling Bella's name, to no response. In the space of three seconds, I push the door open and sprint to the living room.

What I see makes my heart stop.

Bella is laying on the floor, her body sprawled like a rag doll. Her phone is laying a couple feet from her hand. Her lips are wet with wine, her eyes closed, her lashes heavily covering them, locking them from view.

"Bella?" I call to her. There is no response. She is in a t-shirt and blue jeans. I don't think she would object going to the hospital in them. Her skin is pale, clammy from the looks of it. I rush to her side and put my ear close to her mouth and nose.

I freeze. She isn't breathing.

I thank God that I enrolled in medical school. I praise God that I went through with the pre-med major even while I was staring in movies.

At that moment in time, I thank God that I know CPR.

I flip her onto her back, as gently as possible. Her skin is cold to the touch. I know there are two possible explanations for this: either her body's systems are already shutting down due to lack of oxygen or she has alcohol poisoning.

I begin compressions. I try not to think.

I will not let her die.

I dial '9-1-1' and put my cell phone on speaker phone before I push the air from my body into hers.

"Bella, you will not die on me. Listen to me for once in your career! You can break my heart afterward," I say, trying to concentrate on nothing but the fact that Bella is alive. She has to be.

When the operator answers, I have just blown air into Bella's mouth. I rhythmically speak with her.

"We need an ambulance at the Metro 417 complex. As soon as possible." I am panicked. I can not live without her in my life. There is some small fraction of me that knows, though I have only known her for four days. I've only known of her for three months. Somehow, the tiny, fragile, beautiful actress had managed to turn my world upside down.

Bella had changed me from the moment I met her and I was determined to make sure she kept changing me.

I stop to give Bella breath. Somewhere in my mind, I try to think that I am willing my life to her. If nothing else, I pretend that I am willing my life to her. I will not let her die.

Anyone else in the world can pass tonight, but not her.

The operator talks. She drones. She asks me questions. They are all routine. After her first question I answer with:

"It's a twenty-two year old female. She's most likely suffering alcohol poisoning. She was on the phone with me prior. She was showing all of the symptoms. She's not breathing. I'm giving her CPR. She needs an ambulance," I say it tersely, as quickly as I can, continuing with chest compressions.

The operator, of course, has to stay on the phone. I don't block her out entirely in the instance she might be asking questions I need to answer.

I give them the apartment number, I tell them the door is open, and I continue working to save Bella.

Eventually, I hear her lungs take over for me. Her diaphragm finally picks up the rhythm. I have been breathing for her for approximately two minutes. The human brain could only survive without oxygen for three to five minutes. Assuming she hit the ground and her body shut down, that was three minutes. In some cases, there could be serious repercussions even then. There could be brain damage, cells that have died.

I lean my forehead to hers; I listen to her heart beat, her breathing, even as the paramedics come in. I lift her body onto the gurney. I explain to them that I am a med student…but I don't tell them my name.

I stay with Bella in the ambulance. She hasn't woken up. She hasn't made a sound. She won't respond to anything, light, sound, my voice. I try not to listen to how the paramedics are discussing how they should treat her.

I already know. I close my eyes. I refuse to watch as they place the tube down the back of her throat to keep her air ways clear. They will hook her up to an oxygen tank. In the hospital they will put an IV in her arm to pump her with B vitamins, simply to keep her from dehydrating.

I was too sensitive to her pain.

But I would stay with her, simply so there would be someone there when she woke up tonight, or tomorrow morning.

She would wake up.

It would not be her that died that night.

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**Can you say 'Yay, drama!'?**

**I know, that was sort of melo-dramatic, but I kind of wanted to let you know that Edward had no idea that Bella had an alcohol problem. And I kind of wanted Bella to see that her walls can be let down...but that's for the next chapter. I might have that one up tomorrow because I was writing for the better part of the day! YAY! ((Sorry...I'm very tired...))  
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	11. I'm Just Falling To Pieces

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!...Except the concept. That was, indeed, dreamed up in my little head.**

**Ok...I have to say this before I forget. Last chapter's title was from 'Stand Up' by Garou. I highly suggest that song. I love it. Everything else he sings is in French, so I'm just glad I can listen to him in English.**

**This chapter is from Anna Nalick's 'Wreck of The Day'.**

**Anyhow...I know that not everyone probably read the last chapter...but I wrote this and I was like 'Ok...I got six reviews...and I kind of want to post this...' so...here it is.**

**Your second update in two days.**

**Hope you enjoy it!

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Chapter Ten

BPOV

My throat is raw and dry. I hear the beeping of all of the machinery before I even open my eyes. It smells too clean…too much like straight bleach.

I don't want to open my eyes. I'm scared that I will see the tube that sticks in my arm. I feel the medicine burn as it enters my skin. I don't want to see Alice's disappointment or Emmett readying to kill Edward Masen.

He would blame Edward.

I knew he had seen who sent that bottle.

I knew they would both be here. I don't know how long I've been out, but I guarantee that Alice with her psychic powers was on a plane before I even took the first drink. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to revisit reality.

I don't feel too great, anyhow.

I listen to the sounds of the room. It's quiet. No one is fighting. Maybe Alice and Emmett had the decency to take it out in the hallway for once. I hear the sound of breathing…my own and…someone. It is tired. They're sleeping. Maybe they put me in a shared room.

I open my eyes to explore further.

I'm in a single room. There is a television mounted on the wall just opposite of me on the bed. I think of turning it on later, mentally noting that the bed has the control built in. I try to move my right hand, but something is on top of it. It isn't wires. It's someone else's hand. I look to my right.

Edward Masen is holding my hand, his head laying on the bed next to my hand…and he is sleeping in a chair. That had to be so uncomfortable…

As if the entire situation wasn't awkward enough…

I look at his messy bronze hair and I smile slightly. At least he had the decency to take me to the hospital. His face is pale. There are dark circles under his eyes. I reach my left hand out to touch his face lightly, studying the way his skin shimmers under the light of the room.

The light is dim, but the clock on the cabinet in the corner says that it is nine in the morning. I wonder how long Edward was up last night…and what he was up for.

The better question is why is he here instead of Alice or Rose or Emmett?

I decide it doesn't matter. He's probably just waiting on one of them to get here. I touch his face gently. When he stirs under my touch, I recoil, as though I have been burnt.

Edward slowly sits up. His voice is light, but still tired. "You're awake," he says, his lips a titled smile. He takes the hand he is holding and kisses the back of it. "You will never understand how worried you made me…I thought you had died before I could make it to you."

Short of convincing myself that this is a nightmare, Edward Masen is touching me, I take a deep breath. "What happened?" My words are like glass going down my throat. They are coarse, nothing like my regular speaking voice.

Edward looks at me, confused. Disbelieving, almost. "You don't…remember any of that?"

"I remember bits and pieces…I remember that I drank that bottle of wine…and then I don't remember anything other than I hit the ground…" I run my left hand through my hair. It must look horrible. "How wasted do I look?"

Edward Masen's words about send me into seizures. "You look beautiful." I wonder if my huge eyes, the flaring nostrils, and the skin going deathly white is what tips him off that I deserve an explanation. "I found you on the floor of your apartment, Bella. You weren't breathing. You looked dead. The only thing I could think then was that I would not let you die. I don't care what you think of me. You may hate me. That is your prerogative. You have a right to your own opinion of me. But, Bella…I will not say anything that I would regret not saying to you later…not if I might lose you again."

I take another breath. "What did they do to me?"

"The put you through a procedure called intubation." I think it is the fact that I am rather blank to this prospect that makes him explain. "That is they put…"

"I know what that means," I snap, hatefully. "You think this is all new to me? You think that's why I am completely numb to the entire situation?" Edward doesn't say a word. His face grows stern. I sigh. "I'm sorry, Edward…you didn't deserve that…"

This entire time, I've still been clutching onto his hand, as though it would keep me on earth. I finally let it go, as if it were poisonous. "I'm sorry." I mutter.

Edward walks to open the curtains in the room. The sunlight immediately hurts my eyes. "Where is Emmett?"

Edward looks out the window. "I convinced Rose to keep him away from the hospital, at least until you woke up. He didn't seem…happy about the situation."

I raise an eyebrow. "So, he's livid."

"Rather irate," Edward says, his voice almost monotone.

"Alice?"

Edward turns back to me, leaning against the window sill. "Still in New York...or, rather, probably on her way here now. Her customer wasn't due until this afternoon. She moved it up as soon as she could, pretty much threatening the poor woman with her very life. She'll be back here by noon, she said."

I shake my head. "She's mad?"

"Concerned. She won't be the one to tear you to pieces."

"Rosalie?"

Edward's face is turned away from me. "We'll see."

I bite my lip. "I'm going home, aren't I?"

Edward looks at me confused. "Why would you say that?"

"Because," I mutter. "This was everything I had ever wanted…and, quite honestly…as soon as I'm out of here, Rosalie is going to ask me not to come back. I would, too. I would have fired myself as soon as I found out I was in the hospital."

Edward comes to sit beside me again. "Why do you say that?"

"Why would you want all of the bad publicity? Why would you want all of the scandal? Most of which I caused!" I curl myself into a ball, my head in my knees.

Edward puts his hand under my chin and guides my face around to look at him. "Why would anyone want to ruin your career?" He wipes away a tear I didn't know had fallen. "I'll talk with Rosalie, if you are that concerned, but, I guarantee that you are not going to be fired."

"You don't know Rosalie," I mutter, thinking on all the horror stories I had heard.

"I know her better than you," he said with a smile.

There is a very awkward silence which falls over the room. Edward breaks it. "I should call Rosalie…and Emmett. You know, to let them know you're awake."

Someone knocks on the door. I snap my head toward it, but I notice immediately that it hurts. Speak of the Devil and the devil shall arrive.

* * *

EPOV

Emmett enters the room ahead of the blonde bomb shell. Rosalie came in the room with flowers. Her face wasn't angry, rather it was pitying, patronizing.  
"Hey," she says to Bella. You have us all scare last night, didn't she?" Rosalie turns to Emmett who says something unintelligible. He glares at me. I deserve it. It is my fault that Bella is here.

Rosalie catches my eye. "Edward, can I talk to you for a minute?" I nod mutely. I wondered what she needed she sets the flowers on the bedside island and walks out of the room, me following. Emmett takes my seat next to Bella and begins what looks like a humorous version of the Spanish inquisition. Bella laughs before I leave. Her beautiful voice gives me hope.

Rosalie starts in on it before I even have the door shut. "Of all things you give her...wine? You said she was a party girl! Did it never click that she might still have problems?" Rosalie alarms me.

"Rosalie, you have to believe me when I say that I didn't know," I try to prepare a defense for myself. I cross my arms across my chest, hoping that Rosalie might back off. Since she was almost my height, I knew I was not in the least bit intimidating.

Rosalie sighed. "What do I do now, Edward? We've got no leading lady and I've got a deadline. The world does not revolve around you anymore, Edward! Maybe you should try to solve this problem."

I look at the wall behind which Bella lays on a hospital bed. "You've still got a leading lady, you just have to wait until she's discharged. As soon as the doctor examines her and runs a couple of tests on her, she'll be out."

Rosalie glares. "Edward," she barks, "Do you know what kind of hit this is going to be to our marketing?"

I glare back at Rosalie. "I'm part of your flimsy marketing, too, Rose," I lower my voice. I don't know how thin these walls are or how hard Bella is trying to listen.

Rosalie does the same, but her voice is a hiss, threatening now rather than negotiating. "Bella is who people are looking at. Two screw-ups would be nothing for someone who was a seasoned actress; Bella's new to this world. If I don't drop her, I'll have to drop the project."

"Rose, surely you can fix this..."

"Have you seen the tabloids?" She throws her hands in the air for emphasis. Then she drops them and looks at me smugly, her arms crossed under her chest. "No. Of course not. You've let your schoolboy crush hold you in the hospital for the past eleven hours." Rosalie doesn't pull punches. "She's like a piece of glass, Edward," Rose begins. "She's sharp and seemingly strong, but, Edward...she's fragile. She's high maintenance. There are things you don't know about her...there are probably things which no one knows about her. You have brought up so many reminders in her life that she would rather forget and you've hurt her." Rosalie shakes her head. "Edward, I don't care about anything else, but I have to fire her."

"Then leave." I order.

"Not without you. We've got to keep filming. There are scenes without Cathy we can film..."

"I won't be coming back," I say, bitterly. "If Bella is being fired for human error, I quit. I will not be a part of this project, either," I say, turning back to the door.

Rosalie grabs my arm. "You can't just quit! It's a schoolboy crush, Edward! It's not as if she is the love of your life!"

"Things don't always go your way, Princess," I smile to her and turn the doorknob.

"But...who am I going to hire?" Rosalie has never had someone blatantly quit on her.

"I guess that is a problem you'll have to solve yourself, Rose." I could see that Rosalie was defeated. She had never had to deal with things not going her way. I debated whether to let her beg me to come back, several incentives included, or whether I should just go back and sit with Bella.

"Edward!" Rosalie pouted.

"I'll let Emmett know that you're out here." With that I walked back in the room.

Emmett and Bella are still talking. Bella looks like she has been crying. I see the wet streaks down her face. Emmett has helped her pull her hair back into a messy ponytail. He pats her hand. "It's ok, kiddo," he whispers.

"Bella?" I whisper softly. She looks up at me and smiles. I notice the smile doesn't touch her eyes. Her eyes are too dark. They don't shine like they would if she were alive…truly alive.

Emmett snaps to attention. "You, me, outside, now!" He hisses.

Bella's eyes grow panicked. "Please do not kill him! That is the last thing I need in my life right now!"

Emmett smiles at her and winks. "No worries, Bells. I won't kill him…just rough him up a bit."

Sadly, Emmett doesn't scare me. I know from his playful tone that he is putting on the show for Bella so that she feels safe. He's like her overprotective big brother.

Bella suddenly has a revelation. "Wait! I don't want to be in here alone!" Her disgusted tone makes me laugh.

Emmett shakes his head. "Trust me; you won't be alone for l…"

"Bella!" Alice comes bounding through the doors.

"Good God!" I intone, looking at the crowd we've gathered. "Does the hospital staff not even realize that visiting hours haven't started yet?"

Alice has her arms slung around Bella's neck. "Baby! Are you alright? What happened? Did he hurt you?" She glares in my direction. Somehow I am now attaining all of the blame for the situation from people who don't even know what happened.

I deserve the blame, yes, but, Alice doesn't even know the entire story.

"Alice…" Bella sobs into Alice's small shoulder.

Alice smoothes down her hair. "I brought someone with me to see you," she says softly. "Of course, the puppy wouldn't have stayed away any longer, any how, but that's beside the point."

A tall, Native American walks through the door. He's taller than I am and almost as bulky as Emmett. I wonder how a roe with the two of them would fair. Alice glares at him as he walks in. She cradles Bella to her chest, hoping he won't get too close, but, of course, he hovers possessively over her.

"Bella! Why didn't you ever call me?" He seems worried about her. Alice actually growls at him and tells him to step back.

I wonder at their connection. Is it her boyfriend? A lover? What is their relationship?

Emmett takes my arm and drags me from the room before I can wonder further.

Ten minutes later we find ourselves at a Starbucks not far from the hospital. Emmett and I sit on a bench right outside the doors.

"Sorry for dragging you all of the way out here," Emmett says. "I needed to get away from that atmosphere…and Bella. I don't want her to hear any of this again."

I take a drink of my coffee. Black. "Is Rosalie honestly going to fire her?"

Emmett shakes his head. "Rose…she'll cool off. She's just angry. Give her a night to sleep on it. I guarantee Bella will be back in business by tomorrow."

"What happened to Bella to make her like this?" I have to know now. I have to know why she started drinking to drown out the pain she felt. What pain did the successful, pretty Isabella Swan feel?

Emmett sighs. He shifts on the bench. "It was before I met her, actually. At least three years ago. Bella…she's not good with guys. She makes sure that she scares them off before they get too close to her. It's her defense mechanism. She was always afraid that someone would try to take advantage of her…or that she would get too close and they would find out something she didn't want them to know.

"She started that in high school, according to Alice. She didn't get near guys. Never had a boyfriend to this day. She says that guys find her undesirable, but, in reality, she scares them!"

I have to laugh at the thought of Bella terrifying some grown man. She didn't scare me with her unpredictability. Rather, she fascinated me. "What didn't she want them to know? Why would she be so afraid of someone that she would rather distance herself from other people?"

Emmett shook his head. "Alice thought she had been raped. She tried to get Bella to talk about her fear, but…Bella would only say that she couldn't trust anyone. Come to find out she didn't want to trust anyone because she had gotten too close to someone and they had used it against her. They'd manipulated her, abused her mentally. She finally told Alice about it about four years ago when she all but attacked a guy who asked her to dinner.

"Anyhow, now she refuses to get near guys period because of something she found out three years ago. That was when her alcohol problem started."

"What happened?" If someone had hurt her, just give me a name and they wouldn't be polluting the world with their presence much longer.

Emmett took another drink of Frappicino and let out a long breath. "Alice said that she had been having problems with her side. She was in so much pain that for four days she couldn't move. Alice drove her to the hospital where they found her appendix was enflamed. She had to go through an appendectomy. Apparently the appendicitis had infected various parts of her body. Part of her lower lung was even infected. They didn't think there was any permanent damage done, so they removed her appendix and kept her for observation until she could move well enough to go back to school and work."

The story seems to be very private. I wonder why Emmett is even telling me. I shudder at the thought of the pain that Bella had to go through. A week of her life where she was in so much pain she couldn't move…what must that be like?

"Anyhow, she noticed that she had various problems with her body after the appendectomy. Eventually she went to the hospital with more pain in her right side.

"Bella absolutely professed that she hated children. It wasn't until they told her that her ovaries were so filled with infection and scar tissue that she probably had no chance of having them that she even told Alice that she felt like her life had fallen apart and she was going to have to restructure everything. That was when her escape mechanism became very prominent. Every man she met was a jerk. She hated everything about them. If they seemed to be genuinely nice, she would find something wrong with them. It was as if she thought that no one would ever even remotely like her, as if she felt that she herself was inferior.

"The only two men that she has ever actually trusted in her life are me and Jake, the one in the hospital with her now…and her dad, but they neither one are verbose and they don't speak with each other very often."

"So…Jake isn't her boyfriend?"

"No," Emmett says, trying not to laugh.

I take a sip of my coffee to try to piece things together faster. "Why tell this to me, Emmett? If Bella were to find out…"

"Bella won't ever tell you. If Bella found out, I probably would be found in the San Andreas fault the next day, but you have a right to now why." Emmett gets up and walks to the trash. "Shall we head back? They probably think we're insane for being gone for coffee so long…or Alice assumes that they should inform the police that there has been a possible murder."

I stand, throwing the remainder of my coffee away. "You wanted to tell me so I know why she hates me?"

"More or less…but the reason she hates you is she sees in you everything that she is too inferior to have…and the fact that you said all of that in the newspapers is a pretty good indication that she probably would still hate you even if she didn't have the defense mechanism."

I puzzle through this. Could it be that Bella saw herself as inferior? Was that why she disliked me so strongly?

Of course, I would dislike myself, too, if I had put myself in the hospital…on an IV…with some man and a pixie standing over me.

It was at that moment that I wondered if I was going to be forced to give up on Isabella Swan.

* * *

**Yeah...I threw all of the drama into these two chapters. No more drama for a while...hopefully just lemons later...which I will be writing...soon...I hope...**

**The last story was actually semi-true...except my name isn't Bella, I don't have an Edward, and I haven't attacked anyone yet. But, most of it was about me. I just had to throw it in for a piece of the storyline later...which you have all now probably guessed, so I'm shutting up...and if anyone asks, they probably won't get the answer as to whether they are right or not, but I'll listen to your theories!**

**Reviews=quote!...and maybe an update tomorrow...yes, I'm liking this part of the story. Sorry to update so fast!**

**~Tiger!**


	12. My Ain True Love

**Disclaimer: I own nothing or I wouldn't have spent sixty dollars on Twilight merchandise in the past twenty-four hours. I also do not own the songs as I am not that creative and angrsty ridden, nor am I a man.**

**This chapter's title is an Allison Krauss song from 'Cold Mountain'. The song within is the same song.**

**I'M BACK!**

**Sorry, guys. I had really bad writer's block on top of being in and out of the hospital for the past three weeks. Then my computer crashed and my school cancelled classes again today because of ice rather than snow. It was all very frustrating because I'm two points away from a 'B' in one of my classes and was counting on my Final to bring up my grade. Now they have cancelled finals for projects tomorrow.**

**I am seriously halfways tempted to ask my professor if sorting her shoe collection would give me extra credit...**

**Anyhow...I'm back! It's a good thing! Thank you for all of the reviews and favorites and alerts. Those of you who favorite, REVIEW! You'll get quotes!**

**Without further adieu, here's what you all really want...instead of my life story! Ha ha.**

* * *

Chapter Eleven

BPOV

Almost one week since my hospital admittance and I am back in business. Jacob...has yet to leave. That's alright with me, don't get me wrong. Living in a house with all three of my best friends is actually kind of nice. I mean, I don't see much of Emmett anymore because it seems like he is always out when I let him off work. He's always seems to be out with Rosalie...who has actually forgiven me for the most part. I mean, I still merit an invitation to the _Wuthering Heights_ promotional dinner and ballroom dancing...which I am avoiding.

I wish I knew exactly what he had said to Rosalie to warrant her forgiving me so easily. I don't know. I have been thanking him time and time again. He's a little fed up with it. He usually puts on his nervous smile and says 'yeah, no problem, kid.' He does not want to discuss it. I can tell that under no uncertain terms am I to bring up the issue. It is like the elephant in the room for our little, rambunctious family.  
Alice just kind of goes around being Little Miss Perky. She has bought me an entire wardrobe in the past week, as if it would help me to overcome some internal obstacle by wearing some frilly clothes with expensive labels. Alice thinks the binge drinking was attributed to me feeling like I was being neglected, not receiving enough attention from my friends.

Yes. Of course that's what it was. It wasn't my internal demons telling me to drink it to be able to think coherently. I'm an independent, twenty-two year old woman who loves to be alone and I was feeling neglected because I was alone.  
As for Jake, Jake was sleeping on the floor of MY room. This kind of disturbs me. It's not that I'm not used to having a small room. I'm actually rather simple. I refused to sleep on the bed that Alice bought me and have moved my mattress and box spring onto the floor. I'm the kind of girl who can't sleep with the sheets on her bed because she gets tangled up in them. I'm pretty simple.

I'm fine with sharing my room. But, as it was, I was getting my own bathroom! Alice had to share with Emmett because her bathroom was gigantic…something she claims she needs. I honestly just thought that I would be able to have my own little private corner of the world. Jake has kind of ruined the illusion.

As for Edward…

Edward frightens me.

Since I got out of the hospital, he has been nothing if not the perfect gentleman. He hasn't said anything insulting, done anything to tick me off…he has either been on pins and needles or I am honestly losing the intimidation factor.

Edward has been waiting for me by his Volvo every day as Alice and I drive up in her Porsche. Edward all but escorts me to my trailer, talking about some trivial detail of life and making me question what on earth he could possibly want.

We pull up today and Edward is leaning against his car, already dressed in period clothing, waiting for me. He hasn't been waiting long. I know. I can tell by the way the wind pushes his hair that he hasn't been there long. I have seen him while he has been waiting long.

Emmett comes separately and arrives earlier. I swear he must search my trailer for Jack Daniels…because I so had time to sneak that into my trailer.

Unfortunately, before I can even get to Edward, Rosalie grabs me and pulls me off. Alice says her goodbye's and I assume she is going off elsewhere to some designer boutique which she has decided are possibly superior in Los Angeles than in New York City. I'm too tired to really even try to understand what she is going to do. Hopefully it has nothing to do with a Bella Fashion Show later tonight.

Rosalie forces me into hair and make-up and costume. I stuff my phone in my bra at the last minute, afraid that I might receive urgent news from Alice. Gasp! What if she can't decide between pink and green! Or worse! What if she can't decide between Prada and Dior!

Rosalie comes to collect me and drags me off to stand underneath the canopy with all of the expensive equipment that I probably should not be anywhere near so that I can't trip and knock it all over.

I was right. I shouldn't be under here because all Rosalie wants to do is talk. I try to become aware of everything at once, attempting to map out escapes. Edward is with Rosalie's brother, Jasper, who is sweetheart, despite my meeting him for the first time while I was drunk.

Apparently he and Alice have started back up right where they left off. Let me tell you, it's not a lovely thing to see on your couch when you come home at night.

Emmett is working out some kind of security detail with Rosalie's security people. Apparently they were hired because of paparazzi and Edward.

There is no hope of escape. Everyone is engaged and Jacob is sleeping still at home.

Great.

Rosalie is telling me all about how I should do this, that, and the other thing for tomorrow's dinner. She's also telling me about how she wants to take Alice and me out dancing tonight after work to loosen up. I surmise I'm only part of the invitation because Alice thinks I'm feeling neglected. I tell her I fall rather than dance. She doesn't hear me over the sound of her own voice.

Edward starts walking toward us and my heart stops. Fight or flight. To stay here or to leave?

Rosalie is still rattling off some kind of sick list of tortuous outfits I could wear tonight and tomorrow night. I recognize words like 'corseted' and 'chiffon' as synonyms to the word 'death row'. I don't like this. I look for Alice, thinking that perhaps she might still be on the set and I may have a chance to stop her. I even have a plan to stop her.

My impromptu plan involves duct tape, ribbons, and my vanity chair.

I cannot find her. She's probably out buying said tortuous outfits. I sigh, my eyes narrowing.

There will be a Bella Fashion Show once I arrive back at the penthouse. I can only pray she didn't buy shoes, too.

I stay by Rosalie's side, waiting for Edward to show up. Might as well take my demise in stride.

Before Edward can reach me, however, Emmett catches him. I sigh, relieved. Edward has his phone in his hand as he speaks with Emmett. James comes over to speak with Rosalie and she takes off, called off on some other pressing errand or other…  
So is the demanding life of a director, though, I suppose.

Rosalie is always busy doing something.

I look up to see Edward, still speaking with Emmett, now amusing himself by flipping his silver cell phone opened and closed. He pretends to receive a text and begins typing on his phone. Emmett does not realize that he is only pretending to receive a text. It's something that I can recognize because I do this quite often when I get in a bad conversation. I usually send Alice a text message saying 'Save Me' or 'Guess what'. Granted, I'm sure this is not a horrible conversation, I think that Edward really had something on his mind.

I consider strongly going to rescue Edward from Emmett's clutches, asking him if there was any way to get Jake out of my room, or asking if he thought there was a possibility that Alice would share her bedroom until Jacob decided to move out again. I think these questions are sufficient to give Edward time to slip away. Perhaps he did not even wish to speak with me at all. That would be comforting. I wish that were so, however, what if it was me he needed to speak with.

I'm sure he did not need anything important…

My phone vibrates against my hip and I pull out the thin black thing.

Not that I didn't just about five feet prior to actually getting it out of my bra. I just wouldn't do that, would I?

I flip open the phone.

A test message.

So help me God, if it is Alice asking me another question like 'black or…'

**Dinner?**

Edward's message on my screen makes me raise an eyebrow. Why on Earth would he be asking me that?

Secondly, was he asking me on a date or..?

**I don't know what you mean.**

I tap back to him, quickly.

He takes out his phone and smiles when he sees it. I think he laughs. He looks at Emmett and says something before walking toward me again, still typing on his cell phone.

**I'm asking you to dinner with me.**

I roll my eyes.

**If you're looking to be paid back for the incident with the hospital, I'm sorry, but I don't think dinner helps make up for a near death experience.**

I shove the phone back between my breasts. "So, you _are_ seeing Masen," I hear a voice say, matter-of-factly. It sounds almost cruel. I turn around to see James.

"Excuse me," I say, curtly. "I don't see how that is any of your business, if I am or if I am not," I scowl what I hope is a threatening scowl.

James smirks, coldly. "I was just wondering. No need to get defensive, Princess," he almost laughs.

"Princess?" I roll my eyes. "For your future information, Edward Masen and I do not have any involvement with one another." I glare. I watch Edward walking toward me, his face defensive. He's walking faster than I think is necessary.

I think that James sees the irony in Edward's movements, as well. He just shakes his head. "I was simply going to ask you whether you will be attending the banquet which Rosalie has organized." He almost laughs, I see it.

I also see all of it coming at me. Bella is going into attack mode. I feel the fear in the pit of my stomach. I glare, as fiercely as I can. "I planned on attending," I enunciate through my teeth, "Alone," I stress the importance of that one word. I did not go on dates with anyone.

James seems surprised by my harsh tone. "Woah, Bella. I was just saying that you might want an escort." I looked at him in disbelief. "You've never been to something this high profile. It might help if you had someone who was more comfortable with the situation," I look at him suspiciously, wondering what clandestine gains he could possibly have. "It would help us to get to know each other better," he offers. He seems nice enough. I don't know why I'm suddenly so suspicious of him.

I shake my head. "Thank you, but no thank you. Even if I had wanted an escort, Mike Newton has beaten you to the punch…twice, actually," I manage a laugh. "I'd really rather go alone…thank you," I offer, sweetly.

James looks at Edward's approaching. He shakes his head, his smile cold. "Good luck, Ms. Swan. I'll see you on the shoot."

Edward comes up to me and takes my hand, as though I wouldn't jerk away. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" I take all of my frustration and fear out on him. I feel guilty.

Edward looks shocked. "I'm sorry, Bella…I…forgot."

"Forgot what? That I hate you?" I spit. I immediately regret those words.

"I…" Edward shakes his head. "I'm sorry, Bella. I know you're upset…I'll leave you alone."

I gaped in disbelief as he walked away. "Edward…wait…I…" I shook my head. I didn't know what to say, even as he turned around and paused. I sighed. "I'm sorry…you shouldn't have had to hear that," I said softly.

It was my turn to walk the opposite direction.

* * *

Alice was back to pick me up by the time we shot the last scene of the day, a grand total of two. Rosalie wasn't in a very good mood. She was screaming at one point. I think even Emmett was afraid of her. Alice was kind of strained, looking at Rosalie like she was nuts, trying to make sure I didn't jump for Rosalie's jugular, you know…normal Diva stuff.

Edward comes to stand with us and we discuss every insignificant detail of life we can find while Rose shoots with James and Mike…and Victoria who seems to hate me for no good reason. Of course, I'm a horrible judge of who hates me and who doesn't. She could really like me…but I'm pretty sure that she's just a bitch.

Rosalie calls for Edward and tells him she wants him to come up in the scene because there's a line with him.

The entire scene has to be re-blocked now.

I sigh. This could take a while.

"That was unnerving," I hear Alice mumble.

"What?" I turn to her, rolling my neck. My neck is killing me. Too much psychical activity for Bella is a bad thing.

"Edward Cullen is speaking to you," Alice muses.

I turn to her too quickly. "Why do you keep saying his name incorrectly?" I scrunch up my face.

Alice give me the 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' look. "No reason."

I roll my eyes and just continue the conversation. "He's just being cordial."

"No, Bella. That isn't _cordial_. That's _scary_." Alice motions with her hands in huge sweeping gestures.

"It's not that bad, Alice. He's trying to be nice."

"No, this is scary, like white shoes after labor day scary!" Alice's fashion analogies mean that she is very focused on something…usually one of her conspiracy theories. I roll my eyes. I'm on edge and Alice sees it, but the pixie will push any subject she can.

I had been anxious about the day since Rosalie told me the page numbers in the script.

Let's just say, I was in no mood to kiss Edward Masen, and it wasn't because I didn't find him attractive.

I did not want to watch his repulsion to me after I kissed him.

I didn't want to deal with it tonight…or this evening…I can't call it night because the sun is just setting.

But, on the bright side, I would have gotten to sing. I can't remember the last time I actually had time to sing. Rosalie has gone over the song with me about twelve times in two hours. It's like she was trying to prepare me…for a scene we probably weren't going to shoot.

I hear Rosalie snap at someone. I think she finally got fed up with something James did. She cut the scene and said she wasn't shooting it today. She was more hormonal than a pregnant woman. God. Someone needs my birth control medicine.

"Bella! Edward!" Rosalie barks. It takes everything in me not to just bark back. Alice would have clapped a hand over my mouth before I said anything anyway.

"Places for scene eight, please." She scowls at me. Oh, yes. Because I will screw this scene up and risk her wrath. I freeze, though, as everything clicks.

Scene eight…

This is the scene I have been dreading.

I walk slowly to the middle of the clearing, my eyes downcast. I hate this scene for two reasons. One- I have to kiss Edward. Two- I have to run….starting…

"Action," Rosalie says, tiredly, slumped in a chair.

I turn around to look briefly at Alice who is smiling a plasticine smile and giving me a thumbs up.

She's dead.

Edward grabs my hand and I suddenly realize I have to run. I start running as he, as directed, lets go of my hand and runs ahead.

"Wait!" I'm supposed to laugh. I'm kind of laughing. I focused more on not falling.

Yes, we blocked this at the beginning of the day when Rosalie said I didn't actually had to kiss him until we were filming, but…it was honestly quite a challenge for me to even block it because I was focusing on not breaking anything…mainly my bones.

I know that, eventually, Edward will stop, I'm supposed to run into him, he's supposed to fall down and I'm supposed to focus on not getting my neck broken.

Eventually, I do hit him. I'm not paying any attention, though, all I know is that I ran into something hard and I felt strong arms lock around me. Edward falls to the ground laughing. He takes me down with him. I end up on top of his chest and feel immense guilt, thinking I probably hurt him. This is one thought I can not tell Emmett. He will say something like 'Why? Were you afraid you would suffocate him with your breasts?'

He pushes the hair out of my face behind my ear before I'm supposed to roll off of him. I do…the reaction is just delayed. I hope it doesn't look like he pushed me off. He lays there, his eyes closed. I looks at him, his peaceful face. I reach tentatively toward his face and brush my finger tips against his cheek. He smiles slightly.

I return to sitting with my legs bent beneath me. I pick at the grass, looking down at him. I'm supposed to sing. I know I am. It seems a little odd still, but, I open my mouth and softly begin.

"You'll walk unscathed through musket fire,

"No plowman's blade will cut thee down,

"No cutlass wound will mar thy face…

"And you will be my ain true love."

He opens his eyes and takes my hand gently. He rubs circles onto the back of it with his thumb. I look at him with as loving a smile as I can muster.

"And as you walk through death's dark veil,

"The cannon's thunder can't prevail,

"And those who hunt thee down will fail,

"And you will be my ain true love."

He sits up slowly at this line. His hand travels slowly to my cheek. I know that the feeling of his cold skin against mine will hold the same spark that it always does. That is what scares me. My Cathy opens her eyes wide as she continues to sing. His face gets closer. I gulp.

"Asleep inside the cannon's mouth,

"The captain cries, "Here comes the rout,"

"They'll seek to find me north and south,

"I've gone to find my ain true love…"

He pushes hair behind my ear, his hand gently caressing the hollow beneath my ear. I feel his other hand come slowly upward toward the other side of my face. My mind pounded with one mantra to keep me going: 'Keep singing the song! Just keep singing!'

"The field is cut and bleeds to red,

"The cannon balls fly round my head,

"Infirmary man may count me dead,

"When I've gone to find my ain true love,

"I've gone to find my ain true love."

The pleading glint in his eyes was enough for me to know that he was praying that I didn't screw this up. I would not back away. Some sick part of me wanted this. The slow advance of his lips toward mine made me ache with anticipation. I would have lurched forward to close the gap, but I was pretty sure that Rosalie would have a word with me after the fact. She was already in a bitchy mood. Let's not give her more to complain about.

When his lips touched mine, it was as if a thousand fireworks had gone off on my lips. I felt like I was perfectly melded to his lips. It was something that felt both good and disturbing at the same time. I didn't know what to do about it, but it felt like a dream.

It takes Rose screaming and clapping to pull me out of the dream…and it takes Rosalie saying "Do it again! Do it again!" like an excited six year old to make me realize that this is not reality.

I do as Rosalie tells me, but I feel disappointed. I thought we did a pretty good job, overall. I'm sure there were things that could have gone better, but they didn't and that was the point.

Edward catches up to me and touches my shoulder. "Bella," he says, quietly. I turn my head slowly toward him, worried that he might go up in smoke and I'd wake up. "About dinner tonight…"

"Bad idea?" I question.

He shakes his head. "Actually, I was just wondering when I should pick you up."

"I have a jail warden. Her name is Alice," I mutter. "She isn't going to let me out of the penthouse tonight because she bought me new clothes. And, besides," I say, as gently as I possibly can without flat out saying I wouldn't go to dinner with him because I thought that I wasn't just going to be another notch in his belt. "I owe you for a near death experience, not a formal dinner that you helped me get through. Next time you're dying, let me know." I smile, cheekily. I honestly don't feel that I owe him anything.

* * *

Alice leaves after that shoot, saying she has to get the clothes ready for me to try on and that I have to pick out the shoes and the dress I'm wearing tomorrow from her purchases. She's bought too much, I know, but I don't know where the other dresses will go. I wish they'd go back to the shop, quite personally.

Emmett takes me home, like he usually does. I'm grateful. Emmett does not talk as much as Alice and he doesn't push for details, something Alice does. I lay across the backseat as soon as work is over.

On the car ride home, Emmett asks how I did. He was there for the entire process, he just feels as if it's polite to ask me…as always.

"It was great." I say, tiredly as I sprawl across the back seat.

After a long awkward silence, I decide that I couldn't stand it any more. "Emmett?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks…again…for helping me get my job back…I can't thank you enough…"

"Bella," Emmett cuts me off. He sounds annoyed. "I promised that I would leave you out of this. I told numerous people that I would leave you out of this and let you assume what you wanted, but I am tired of you being on pins and needles and swearing you'll make it up to _me_."

I feel my face twist in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I didn't get you your job back, Bells," he says, sighing. It sounds like the fact that he told me is a huge relief.

"But…if you didn't…" I try to piece things together in my head. Then I become a bit angry. "Rosalie never was going to take it away, was she?"

Emmett laughs in the front seat. "You're smart, Bella…I know you are. I just don't know why you can't see the obvious." He shook his head. "No, Rosalie was completely content with taking away your job," I make a face. "But someone did assist in getting it back for you. It just wasn't me."

I roll my eyes. "Ali?"

Emmett laughs again. "Bella, we didn't help you to get that job back," Emmett says. There is something very obvious that I am missing…I just don't know what it is. I scrunch up my face again. "Edward did."

I think I almost jump out of my skin.

I wonder if it's too late to ask him about those dinner plans…though it will take a whole lot more than dinner to make up for this one…

Bella, Bella, Bella…

You sure did shoot yourself in the foot this time, darling.

* * *

**Dun, dun, duh! Ha ha. **

**Reviews equal quotes: I'm taking a hiatus for the next two weeks, so I won't have classes and that means I'll be writing! You should get at least one more update by Christmas, if not one tomorrow!**

**~BlkTgrRdRse**


	13. We Do What We Must Because We Can

**Disclaimer: Still wishing I owned more than the plot line and idea. Still am not a man, still can't write music, therefore, I cannot claim any of the songs.**

**Song this time is Still Alive from Portal...I'm addicted. Sorry!**

**Honestly, anyone who is missing this chapter, that's seriously alright because the better half of this is pretty much Alice with a curling iron...though there might be something es****sential you need to know. I'm seriously thinking that I should have written it the way I planned in the first place, but I had to give all of the gory details! Ha ha.**

**Ok...so...I think I got like twenty reviews on the last chapter, which was...amazingly odd, but still so amazing...**

**If you guys break one hundred this time, I might just be able to give you all a Christmas Eve present!...but that means that people who don't normally review would have to review (if you review and don't want a quote, just say so! I wouldn't want to ruin the story for anyone, promise!)**

**Oh, and, this is uneditted. I was too tired. Excuse the mistakes. You can yell at me in your reviews. Ha ha.**

**P.S. You'll all get a Christmas Eve present anyway. I just wanted to see if that gave insentive! Sorry! Being a Scrooge!**

* * *

Chapter Twelve

Yes, I have guilted myself into going on a date with Edward Masen. It was actually quite funny. I mean, I had a foolproof plan to get out of the pent house without being noticed.

COMPLETELY foolproof.

If I had taken in certain factors which were CLEARLY presented.

Factors like Jacob sleeping in my room, or even being in the house period. I have to admit, he was infuriating, a nuisance that I hadn't imagined. When I realized my plan didn't even consider him, I was actually quite…beside myself, really. I thought I had thought of absolutely everything.

While I was still riding home, I sent Edward a text message.

**Edward,**

**Sorry about the dinner plans.**

**You wouldn't happen to still be available, would you?**

His reply comes much too soon on my phone…and, at the same time, not soon enough. The tone of his text message: panicked.

**Bella, is something wrong? Where are you? Do you need a ride somewhere? **

I think I almost choke on my own saliva when I read it.

**Fine, perfectly fine.**

I tap the message back out with an amused smile on my face.

**But…I was wondering if you'd still like to go to dinner…?**

I sigh and hit 'send' before I can regret it. Emmett, sitting in the front seat, driving in silence, suspects nothing.

I send Alice a quick text message.

**Al:**

**I don't feel so good. I'm not sure if you're going to be at the penthouse, so I'm texting to tell you that I'm going to lay down for a bit.**

I hope that can at least get me out of the fashion show. I was working on how to get out of the house, unnoticed. I could ask Jacob to cover for me, but then he would probably ask too many questions and Edward Masen would end up dead in a ditch tomorrow morning.

My phone vibrates to two text messages.

I open the one that blares 'Alice' in all capital, bold letters.

**I'm at home. Are you still up for going clubbing with Rose? Come on, it'll be fun! We can hype you up on the vicodin that dumb doctor who deals with your ovaries gave you…or was that the stuff you were allergic to? If it's not pain, I'm sure we can dig something out of my Gucci medicine chest!**

I snort. Alice was getting out of the house. That was a good thing. Emmett wouldn't tell anyone. If all else failed, I would tell him I was going out with Rosalie and Alice afterall, that I would call them in-route to find out where they were. I would have to start coming up with excuses to avoid the Gucci bag which Alice kept everything imaginable in. We called it her 'drug store' because if you needed ANYTHING, say the words and Alice would pull it out of her bag.

I open Edward's next.

**Did you have something in mind?**

How to answer that…I try something that seems the least suspicious.

**What did YOU have in mind for tonight. You were the one that asked me to dinner. Lol.**

After I sent it, the first this that popped into my head was 'Did I just type "lol"? What am I? Sixteen?' I shake my head and give an exhausted sigh.

"Alice?" Emmett asks from the front seat.

I decide it's best to tell a half truth. "Yeah."

"Dancing with Rosalie?" As if he didn't already know.

"Yeah," I say, my smug smirk plastered on my face. "You know, you're good. You should open up a fortune telling business."

"Hardly. I get my information from Alice. She's the crazy one of us," he says, hiding laughter.

"Yeah." I mutter again.

"I like your mono-syllabic vocabulary tonight, Bells. It makes you rather agreeable," he says, his voice laden with sarcasm. I'm just marveling at the fact that he even knew the word 'syllabic'. "So…what are you going to tell her?"

I put on my most pathetic, cracking voice, one which I learned while I had a really bad case of type B strep throat, and say, "That I feel sick."

Emmett laughs. "I'd buy it. Of course, the real test is going to be Alice," Emmett waits a few moments before speaking. "I'll back you up. You can walk into the apartment leaning on me, if you want, but then I'm going out for drinks with Rose's brother and one of my other high school friends. If Alice still goes out with Rosalie, you'll have the pent house all to yourself…except, of course, for Jacob, who I am surprised hasn't killed anyone yet."

I cock my head and look at Emmett through the rear view mirror. My phone vibrates in my lap, but I ignore it. "What do you mean?"

Emmett sighs. "He's extremely volatile, especially where you're concerned," Emmett says, seriously. "The boy's got a crush the size of the San Andreas fault."

My eyes blaze with anger. "Emmett, don't make fun of Jacob like that. He's my friend, nothing more."

Emmett shrugs. "Whatever you say, Bells."

I might have some serious rethinking of my plan to do. That and Emmett's comment has me thinking 'What if Jake _does_ have a crush on me?'

* * *

I do stagger into the apartment on Emmett's arm. Emmett loves the fact that he gets to be in on this little charade. He's having so much fun that he helps me to a couch, and covers me up with a blanket. "Get some rest, Bells."

"Oh my God!" Alice rushes over to me. "What happened?"

"I feel sick," I whimper, pulling the blanket tighter around me.

Jacob must hear because he rushes into the room, looking the ever concerned, loyal best friend. "What's wrong with her?" Alice has to shoulder him out of her way. She smoothes my hair down and whispers to me that 'everything's alright.'

Alice looks at Emmett curiously. "She got sick in the car," is his reply. He looks at his watch fro dramatic effect and says, "Listen, I told Jasper I would meet him in about five minutes. I hate to leave Bella here alone, but…Jake's here with her, right?"

Alice rolls her eyes, but nods. Emmett turns toward the door. On his way out, he winks at me before closing it as quietly as he can. "I take it you don't feel like clubbing tonight?" Alice asks, pouting.

"Not really," I say, shivering, hoping I at least get points for creativity. I sniffle. "I think I'm just going to stay here for a while and curl up under my blankets."

Alice snaps to attention. "Dog!" She yells to Jacob. I do wish she'd quit calling him that. He is a human being, not matter how loyal and cuddly he may be. She associates him with a B movie werewolf or something… "Out of her room. You sleep on the couch. Bella is going to sleep, alone, in her room. I think she has a cold. Maybe it's just now setting in from all of the filming outside. You shouldn't push yourself so hard, Bells!" She says, concerned. She tugs on my arm to get me up and leads me, slumping, to my room.

She treats me like a six year old again, tucking me in, ordering Jacob 'out' again, and then shutting the door quietly before turning back to me.

"Are you ok?" Alice asks, the cute features filled with fear and concern.

"Yeah," I mutter. I feel great, in truth. Edward told me he would be picking me up for our nine o'clock dinner reservations at eight-thirty. I planned on walking since the restaurant, Cicada, was right around the corner.

It was already eight. If the plans had remained the same, Alice should leave any minute.

But she didn't. She came and sat on my mattress. "How are you feeling?" She asked me, her voice patronizing.

"Terrible," I moan, rolling over. Something tells me that she isn't buying this, but it's the only shot I have.

Alice smoothes back my hair. "Aw, poor baby," she says before taking my shoulders rather aggressively. "Now get up and don't pull that crap with me 'cuz I heard about your date!"

"What?" I try to sound, not surprised, but confused. "What date?" I moan.

She pulls me up by the shoulders and roughly sits me in a chair by the vanity she insisted upon buying me…well, more like throws me in the chair. "Stop faking it," she says, taking up my hair brush and begins brushing out my hair. It's amazing how gently she does it. I'm not sure I trust her, though.

She hums as she chatters, placing the shortest front layer of my hair around my face to frame it as she begins to pull the rest of the front back. "Oh, rats…I forgot my curling iron…" she pouts as she ties a black scrunci around the ponytail she has formed on the back of my head.

"I don't know why you're doing this. I'm not going anywhere…" I mutter, though I don't sound sick.

Alice turns back to me as she opens the door to run into her room and grab the essentials. "Madame Mary Alice Brandon knows _all_," she says, teasingly, thought I wouldn't be surprised if that entire statement was true. She comes back within three seconds with a make-up bag the size of the purse I usually carry, a curling iron, a straightener, something that looks like a tiny corkscrew, a clear plastic bag full of shiny hair adornments, and a dress in a Saks Fifth Avenue bag.

"What is all of that?" I ask, warily, looking at the things, trying to decide which is the most torturous of the torture objects.

Alice smiles, a mischievous grin. "Stuff to make you look pretty!"

Oh, yeah, torture objects.

"Now," Alice says, plugging everything into available sockets. "What kind of look should we go for?" Alice walks a circle around me. She's like a lion hunting a poor little antelope, except this one would happen to be a not so graceful antelope, possibly with a broken leg. "I say, sweet and innocent," she voices her opinion, the only opinion, and takes up the straightener as she flatirons the front part of my hair. "You're going to looks so pretty!" She admires the flat ironing.

"I still don't know why you're doing this; I'm not going clubbing," I mutter.

Alice tilts her head to the side. "Clubbing? Who said anything about clubbing? I'm making you look pretty for your date with Edward, darling," Alice says.

I am in awe. "What date?" I say, again, pretending to know nothing about what she's talking about.

"The one at Cicada. Your reservations are at nine, right?" My silence is taken as affirmation. "So…eight-thirty, knowing Edward. Aside from the fact that it might take you that long, dependant upon traffic. It's August, so it really is still a major tourist season. Until September pretty much the entire country might as well be out here." Alice surmises as she takes up the curling iron, sprays my hair down with a bottle of hair spray, and begins to curl the ends of my long hair. "Now, I've never really been to Cicada, but one of my clients went there last fall and it's supposed to be VERY fancy. Use your best etiquette, ok? Make me proud that I claim you. I'd much prefer it if you didn't throw wine on him as he is being quite nice this time…even if it is white wine." I open my mouth to say something, but she snaps at me. "If you say you don't know a thing about this one more time, I _will_ go through your cell phone and show you all of the text messages between the two of you."

"How did you know about all of this?" I snap, ready to turn around, getting hit in the back with a curling iron and cursing.

"That's what happens when you jerk around," Alice says, rolling her eyes. "I know everything…aside from the fact that Edward was supposed to go out for drinks with Jasper and Jasper said he cancelled. Well, you're canceling, too, and, honestly, what are the odds that both of you just happen to choose to be hermits on the same night? So, I went around and dug up what I could…and half of it was intuition."

"Alice," I say, warningly, "This was supposed to be a secret."

Alice laughs. "From me? Yeah, right! When you get back, I want all of the gory details...provided that you do get back and don't spend the night in the hospital again."

"Alice!" I say, as threateningly as I can muster. "You cannot tell anyone!"

Alice laughs again. "Bella, do you honestly think I would tell anyone about this?" She shakes her head and laughs. "IF you want the honest truth, I'm having too much fun with this. Besides, it's a once in a lifetime thing. It's not like you're going to be dating him!" Alice says, laughing hysterically.

I grimace. She's right there. This was a one time thing. I was too plain for Edward to even consider me attractive. The sparks I felt were just chemistry on-screen, not off. Alice finishes and I shake my head to clear it, using the bouncy curls as an excuse.

Eight ten.

Alice really is a miracle worker.

Alice pulls out the dress next. "This," she says, reverently, holding it like the Bible itself, "Is a Versace off the rack. I bought this in New York for the dinner tomorrow, but I think that this occasion is perfect for it."

I can't help but gape in awe.

The black dress is a straight sheath which was possibly the most conservative thing Alice had ever bought me. It would go down just below my knees, though I think on the model it was intended to be above her knees. I was short, not like Rosalie. There was a simple ruffle right beneath my breasts. The sleeves were barely on the shoulder, short ruffles of black mesh that would fit my upper arms snuggly.

It was pretty. Very pretty and very expensive. "But…what am I wearing tomorrow night?" I ask in desperation to be rid of it.

"Ah," Alice shrugs. "Don't worry. I've got a lot of off the rack stuff that I bought today for you. They're all designer, but I didn't have very much time to get them fitted to you." This was short for Alice told them 'I want this, this, this, and this in these measurements and, if it's not ready in five minutes, you'll never work in the fashion industry again.'

"Why can't you just use the stuff that you design?" I moan, looking dismally at the dress. I was going to trip and rip it.

"Because!" Alice says, huffily. "Mary Alice is an exclusive line. I've been so busy getting ready for Paris summer fall fashion week, not to mention Milan and New York, that having to deal with you _and_ three new lines requires me to shop rather than sew." I roll my eyes. She pats my shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm making your dress for the premiere already!"

She throws the dress at me with a slip and some kind of contraption that appears to be a corset, but if she thought she was getting me into that, she was nuts. Alice had other plans. She didn't plan on me dressing myself at all. "Now, stand up, put those on the chair, in the order, take your shirt off, take your bra off, and pull the corset around you…or I will be forced to tackle you." I do as she orders.

Five minutes later, my chest is sky high, my twenty-four inch waist is now twenty-two inches, and I'm not sure if I can breathe properly…and I know I could sing in this thing. Talking's going to be a problem enough. So, I'm standing in a mini-slip with a corset on as Alice tries to get the dress over my newly grown chest size.

Can't wait till she zips me up. It'll be another size bigger.

Alice tugs VERY hard on the dress, I think I hear something rip and the dress is under my chest. I look at the pixie in amazement. "Did something just…"

"Rip?" Alice asks. She shrugs as she pulls the dress back up over my chest, holding the sleeve to one side as I slip my arm in and doing the same with the other side. She pulls the skirt of it down, pushes my breasts up over the ruffle, something I find awkward, and takes something and sprays it at my chest, sticking the dress to me. She doesn't spray anything but that before she zips me up.

"Spray adhesive," she explains. She walks around me, surveying to see if she did any damage. "You're great…now…" she takes out a thin belt with a Greek buckle. "You'll wear this on your waist. With your curves in that corset, your waist will look about two inches. And you have to wear the matching black velvet sandals!" She pulls out death traps and I roll my eyes.

"Flats?"

Alice glares. "Not a chance." I groan again. Alice begins to platter on again. "All of it's Versace. You'll be perfect. It's going to look great. Now for the make-up…I have thirteen minutes to make you look gorgeous!"

She throws me in the chair and takes out foundation which begins to get slathered all over my face. I squeeze my eyes shut and wait for it to be over. I open my eyes when I feel spray on my face. "WHAT IS THAT?!" I rage. She's going to ruin the make-up!

"Model in a bottle!" Alice says, waving a setting spray at me. "They use this stuff in _Wicked_ on the Witch all the time. You should know to trust this!" She seems appalled. I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes resemble a male peacock, but not in a bad way. It's light blue on the inner corners and dark blue on the outer corners with a deep blue liquid eyeliner flared out. My eyelashes are curled and mascaraed. My face looks gorgeous, captivating.

Alice glances at the clock. "With five minutes to spare! Yes!" She does a very Emmett-esque fist pump as the door buzzer calls her away. "Come on, Bells. We _have_ to see the look on his face."

I suddenly remember that Alice should be with Rose. "Aren't you supposed to be out?"

Alice smiles. "I pushed us back an hour. No biggie." She smiles mischievously as she opens the door.

Alice has to put on a charade at the door. "Edward!" She says, as surprised as possible. "What are you doing here? Did you need to see Bella? She was VERY sick, but I'm sure she'll feel much better once she finds out you're here!" She laughs before attacking him as she invites him in. "Did you honestly think you could keep anything from me or are you both idiots?"

Edward is dressed very nicely. He is wearing a suit jacket, dress pants that match, a white button-up shirt which is open at the neck to reveal part of his beautiful torso. My breath catches in my throat as my body hums. He is gorgeous.

My body can not behave itself while he is around. He is comparable to pure sex in its most saturated form…of course, I wouldn't know as I am a virgin.

I shake my head. I can't let my lust get in the way. One date is all I have to get through. Just one.

Edward is holding flowers, something I notice only after I have examined everything else about him. "They aren't roses," he says, as if I couldn't see that. It's lilies and freesia. "I wasn't sure if you were simply not fond of rose or of me…either way, I thought I should change my tactics," he says, jokingly.

I reach out to take the flowers, but Alice gets them first. "Hurry up and get out of here before Emmett of Jacob see and then we all die!" She laughs, all but pushing us out the door.

Edward escorts me out of the apartment building. We both are silent.

"Why did you change the flowers?" I ask, my voice might sound weak, but that's all I can muster.

Edward glances at me to see my looking at the ground for two reasons: one- so I don't have to look at him and two- so that I can see where I am walking so I won't fall in these death traps.

I can't believe I'm still shorter than him in these.

"As I said, I wasn't sure if you didn't like roses," he says, though his voice is still light.

"But, I do." I say, finally looking at him as he opens the passenger side of his car. It takes me a moment to realize that we're in an Aston Martin, not his Volvo.

Edward helps me inside before he goes over to his side of the car. "Really? You would prefer the roses?" He smiles. "You are a very unpredictable person, Isabella Swan."

I turn my face toward him, looking at him with a genuine smile on my face. "I'll take that as a compliment."

Edward pulls smoothly enough out of the parking place to make me jealous of his parallel parking skills. The smile is still on his face as we have to stop at a traffic signal. He looks at me and I note the sparkle in his eyes. "Would you like another one?" His voice is still teasing.

I roll my eyes, smiling playfully. "Watch it, buddy; you wouldn't want to get red wine all over that shirt, too."

He laughs. "I doubt that this would get me in too much trouble." I look at him, appraisingly. "You look very beautiful tonight." His words sound so sincere that I feel like a sixteen year old girl who is about to go around the corner into her room and jump up and down with a horrendous grin on her face.

As it is right now, I'll stick with the horrendous grin. I think I can get away with that one.

All things considered, I still couldn't help getting out at the restaurant and asking myself 'What am I doing here?...with him of all people?"

* * *

**What will happen next?...as if that isn't obvious enough. Ha ha.**

**Hope you enjoyed and I hope that everyone is having a marvelous Christmas season!**


	14. Let Love Be Blind

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing, including songs and song titles.**

**Would have had this up last night, but I spent all of last night and most of today at random Christmas parties, getting beaten up by cousins, neices and nephews who refuse to accept what I bought them because they wanted a DS, not games for it...even though their parents bought them the stinkin' DS. **

**So, anyhow, sorry that I could not get you all your quote, but my computer crashed again, so this had to be rewritten yesterday, but not during the Christmas parties...and not during today...**

**Anyhow, here's the newest chapter, hope you like it because some of it got summarized in the end.**

***sigh* MERRY CHRISTMAS!**

* * *

Chapter Thirteen

EPOV

We were early. I half contemplated going to a flower shop close by and getting her roses as compensation, though it would be half jokingly.

I park against the curb and go to open Bella's door, only to notice that she appears to be doing perfectly fine on her own, small black clutch purse in hand. I think that was one of the things I found so attractive about her; she refused to need a shoulder to lean on. This fierce independence sparked in me a tenderness I had never felt before. I felt as though she needed someone to watch after her, to take her heart off of her sleeve and protect it, kissing each break away.

Of course, Bella Swan was not offering her heart and I was not looking for it…not yet, at least.

I watched Bella look over my car appraisingly.

"How many cars do you have?" She asked, I think I hear a note of contempt.

"Two," I say, trying to keep the mood light. "However, this one is very special. It does not get out of the garage often. Only on special occasions."

Bella turns toward me as I offer her my arm. She accepts as I escort her into the restaurant. "Like every single date you go on with your costars?" She smirks jokingly. I frown at her. She sees my expression change before I can wipe away the frown and she immediately backtracks. "I mean, I hear you have a playboy reputation. Just from the way you bounce between that director…Tanya, is that her name?...and Victoria…who seemed very irate yesterday when you were speaking with me…" She opens her mouth wide, only to close it. "I dug myself a nice hole here, so I think I'll just curl up and die in it," she says with a joking smile on her face.

I laugh and push back a piece of her hair which has fallen over her face. The contact comes as a surprise to her, but I wish she would stop flinching from under my touch. Each time she flinches, I feel guilty for daring to chance a caress, especially on camera. I sigh. "I find it very humorous when you make assumptions based on what other people have told you. You take each thing for the honest to God truth."

She bites her lip as we walk through the front door of the restaurant. "Is it?" Her timid response comes just as people rush to help us. I'm sure that, since we were here twenty-five minutes early, a table had miraculously appeared from thin air as a rather flirtatious waitress shows us to a table.

I pull out Bella's chair and allow her to be seated before I go to my side of the table. Though there are several other parties in the room, the setting seems intimate. I watch Bella take her napkin and place it in her lap only to twist it around. I was glad they didn't use paper.

As soon as the waitress leaves, I turn back to Bella. "No, what you have heard is not true. I stopped dating exclusively after I turned nineteen."

Bella grimaced. "You stopped dating right when I stopped watching movies."

"Oh?" Another curiosity. Bella didn't watch movies, but she wanted to star in one. I puzzled over this as the waitress came back. I order from the wine list without even looking at her.

Bella freezes. "That's a red wine. I don't think that's the best idea…"

I see her apprehension. I could not read her as easily as I could read most people, but I saw in her face her reasoning: she thought her temper would get the better of her and the reminder of how she believed she had hurt me would only make her more apprehensive.

"A nice white wine, then?" I ask her. She looks almost shocked that I'm even asking for her opinion.

She looks at the wine list and shrugs, as though she has never been asked for her opinion on a date before. No wonder she flinched away instinctively from men. She had never met one who actually would treat her as if she had a brain.

"Order what you like," she says, softly, still twisting the napkin, though this time her hands are above the table.

As soon as the waitress leaves, I reach across the small table and take her hand which is twisting the napkin. "Bella," I say to her, softly. "There's no need to be nervous." The jolt of electricity that travels between us every time we touch becomes easier to ignore. The pull I feel toward her is something which I do not ignore.

Bella looks at me with doe-like eyes. She eventually breaks eye contact to look at the table cloth. "This was a bad idea," she whispers.

I shake my head. "Bella," I say softly back to her. "Do you honestly believe that?"

Bella takes a deep breath, still not looking up from the cloth. "No…I mean…some times…I just…" she struggles to find the right words. "I feel like everything is so…surreal." She musters a small, bitter laugh. "Why did you ask _me_ out to dinner, anyhow?"

I look at her full, red lips. How I want to kiss them, take away any doubts that she has. "Bella," I shake my head. Her name, rolling from my tongue like a caress. I'm pretty sure I see her shiver. "Are you alright?"

Bella looks up at me now. "Yes…" she mutters. She glances around before looking back at our clasped hands. She is fighting instinct to rip her hands away and something else which tells her to follow it and leave her hands inside mine. I can tell from the way her body quivers. I have seen her behave this way on-camera, as well. "Maybe I should just go…" she begins.

"No," I say, sternly. She narrows her eyes. I see the resilience flare in them. "Bella, I asked you to dinner because I wanted you to come to dinner with me, not to intimidate you, not to make you feel threatened by me," her face softens to my words. "Please…stay for dinner."

She opens her mouth about to protest, and, so, I stop her with my words. "I'm asking for one dinner, nothing else. If it is…unpleasant, it is not an experience you have to repeat," I say, giving her a choice for future situations. I did not want her to feel obligated toward me in any sense. I knew that her harsh independence would not allow her to be.

The waitress arrives, inconveniently, and I drop Bella's hands, drawing back from her. After placing the cart with the wine on it next to the table as well as leaving a glass to our right, the waitress turns to her first for her dinner order, though it is only out of politeness which she does so. I barely hear what the flustered Bella orders before I turn to the waitress and say, "I would like the same."

Bella sips the wine delicately. I watch the wine as it travels down her throat, imagining my hands traveling along her neck, imagine kissing her now wet lips, licking the wine away, appreciating her rather than showing her that all men were monstrous. I'm not sure if Bella notices, but she looks at me, wide-eyed again. "Edward?"

"Hmm?" I try to feign disinterest as I pick up the wine glass and sip from it.

"Thank you," she says, quietly, "For getting my job back."

This is a puzzlement. I'm quite startled, enough so that I would not have trust myself if I had had wine left in my mouth. I told Emmett he was forbidden to tell her that I had threatened Rose, that I had quit until Rose had begged on hand and knee for both of us to come back. "How did you know?"

Bella looks very smug. "I guessed." I see the lie.

I laugh. "You're a bad liar."

Bella rolls her eyes. "Yes. Very bad liar, pretty good actress, though." She takes a sip of wine. "Ok, so, Emmett mentioned it when he became tired of me mentioning it to him, but you can't tell him I told you."

She was correct in assuming that I would be upset, but incorrect in assuming that I would immediately go out to beat Emmett. "I'm glad that you can…appreciate the job," I said, unsure of what else to say.

"How'd you do it?" She asks. As the waitress sets our food down, I notice for the first time that we had been leaning closer and closer to one another over the table. I make no effort to back up as I wave the waitress away.

I shake my head. "It was very selfish, really," I say, hoping she will dismiss it, assuming me to be the pampered Hollywood star.

Bella twirls pasta around her fork. "That's not a very creative answer. You're begging the question." She pulls the pasta off the fork, baring her teeth. Whether it was supposed to be provocative or not, it makes something flare inside which I have not been accustomed to: lust.

Had I been the playboy she assumed me to be, I would have already been trying to get her to stop eating and come home with me. The things she did were unintentionally alluring, or so I assumed. She seemed too innocent to be a seductress like Victoria and too morally adept to be like the morally inept Tanya.

Why couldn't Rosalie have been trying to get me to go to premieres, dinner, dates, dances…absolutely _anywhere_ that this goddess was?

I sigh and pull my eyes away from her mouth. "I threatened to quit. I actually did when she did nothing that made it appear she believed me."

Bella nodded, appraisingly. "So, you were the reason for the two day hiatus?" She says so jokingly, taking another bite of pasta.

My self-control is not what it could be. I make a mental note to kiss her fiercely tomorrow when we have to reenact her death. We were going out of order with the script, but I was suddenly grateful. "Yes," I said, slightly jokingly. "I gave us all a premature break."

Bella sipped her wine again and smirked. "Bet Rosalie flipped."

I nodded. "Actually, she did."

"I can imagine," she started moving pasta around on her plate. "Aren't you going to eat?" Her question is laden with concern. Quite honestly, I hadn't even noticed the food. I considered how I should answer before picking up pasta with my fork and eating it in small amounts.

Bella checked her watch constantly. She seemed to relax soon, though, after about an hour of us eating, throwing barbs, and talking about work. We soon began to exchange life stories, enough for me to find out that she had been a year behind me in school and that she had attended the same high school I had.

Through the night, I tried to place her face with the name from high school. It struck me then that she had been my lab partner in Biology and that she had not always been so fiery. She had acted like a frightened lamb throughout that class, keeping as close to the edge of the table as possible. I became increasingly cold toward her as the year wore on. I wondered whether I should feel sorry about it and then wondered why I had not felt this way about her in high school.

'Because I had been as cynical as she was,' I remind myself mentally. I thought that anyone who approached me at the age of seventeen was after something and could not genuinely like me. I think that was what shocked about Bella Swan. That was the year before I decided to move permanently to Los Angeles with my entire family.

I purposely avoid discussing Biology.

"Why did you leave Forks?" I ask her as she ignores what little is left of her pasta. She acted as though she was completely starving.

Bella shrugged. "Well…I got a full ride to New York University in their Musical Theatre department. That was a rarity in itself, so I knew I should take it. I was cast in an off-Broadway show almost as soon as I made my New York debut in NYU's showcase at eighteen. I scheduled all of my classes around rehearsals for the show and, soon, my career took off. Alice became my agent as she studied fashion design at the Art Institute of New York while she took business classes at NYU. She had to be the busiest person I ever met, but I was glad to have her as a roommate.

"My career took off pretty fast, I'll admit, though the money wasn't there initially. I remember the first apartment Alice and I moved into was roach infested and the plumbing didn't work! We had to put new drywall up. Imagine two nineteen year olds trying to put up drywall, one five foot tall, the other five-five and thinking she could do anything!" Bella laughed.

I could not help but smile with her. "And did you succeed in making it work?"

Bella grimaced. "Let's just say, it took weeks before we couldn't find plaster in our hair." I laugh. "We barely had enough cash to pay the electricity and Alice ended up dropping her design classes so that she could get a job. We lit the apartment with candles for a good year, but we did have heat and water by that time."

I felt guilty. She had lived in semi-poverty while I had been allowed to live a luxurious lifestyle of my choosing. This part of the story, I had heard from Alice once while they were still living this way. Alice had always been close to my family and, when she came asking for money, I did not deny her. I told her that she should not even bother paying it back. Alice had been closer to me than Rosalie and we lived in the same household. I would not let my chosen little sister starve. "And then?" I prompted. How had they gone from having nothing, to their names in lights.

"Well, my career had taken off already. It skyrocketed to leading roles in nearly everything! Alice was offered an internship and, with the connections she built she was able to become a partner to Jessica Stanley, some chick from high school, and they formed Mary Alice. Alice bought out Jessica's half of the company and now she owns it and does…everything. She's very hands-on. That company is her baby." Bella's smile seems bitter.

"And you? Are you as happy as Alice with your career…or is there something more?"

Bella seems startled by the question. "I…" she messes up her face into a confused pout. It was very childish and, also, very cute. She contemplated this for a second. "I want certain things which Alice is completely content without, but…yes. My life does revolve around acting."

The answer is heavily guarded…heavily weighted to account for any reaction. I let out a long breath before asking a question I know she will dodge. "Things such as…?" I gesture for her to continue.

Bella's mouth is wide open and I watch her snap it shut before placing a content mask in place of her surprise. "Childish things," she says with a smile. "It's all quite boring."

"Quite the contrary," I say, smiling back at her. "I think that any of your dreams would be quite fascinating simply for the fact that you are so unpredictable."

Bella looks at me, biting the corner of her lip. "It's nothing to be concerned with, nothing fascinating," she says, assuring. She had been about to tell me, I could see it. She wanted to confide in someone, but she was afraid of what people would think. I wasn't going to force anything out of her.

"And you? How did you get where you are now?" Bella's lilting voice breaks my thoughts.

I smile and think back through my life. I remember pain the most frequently. I sigh. It wouldn't hurt to sum up everything in a neat, rosy package, would it? "I was born in Chicago. My father was an architect, my mother had no career. When I was six my father was killed in a train accident and my mother, Elizabeth, was left to suffer through life. She died when I was seven of a hereditary disease. I was taken in by Carlisle and Esme, my adoptive parents at seven.

"By that time Esme had also taken in her twin niece and nephew and, though they were young, they were confident that they could care for me, as well. Carlisle was a doctor and made more than enough to provide for all of us. Esme restore antiques when she wasn't busy bearing over Rosalie, Jasper, and I like an overprotective mother hen." I can't help but laugh. I knew Bella knew I was summarizing. She had gone into detail, except about her parent's divorce as a baby and that was only because she could not remember a thing of it.

Bella smiles thoughtfully as she watches me laugh. "So you were taken in and raised by the Masens?"

Ah. Bella didn't know. Just as well. I was sure Alice would have told her all of this by now. "No…my parents, my biological parents, they were the Masens."

"Oh!" Bella said. "I'm sorry…I just…"

"No, no. Please don't apologize," I smile brightly at her, trying to wipe away any hurt she might think I was feeling. "I was raised by Dr. Cullen and his wife. Esme couldn't have children, but she always mothered us like we were much younger than we were. She more or less babied Alice when Jasper and Alice began dating."

"So…" Bella said, something in her brain clicking. "That's why Alice refers to you as 'Edward Cullen'." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"Yes. Alice knew. She had been hoping you figured it out, I suppose."

Bella muttered, "Yes, because she gave me so much to go off of."

I have to laugh at her.

She glances at her watch, her eyes widen, and then she jumps up from the table, collecting her purse. Her actions surprise me and I jump up from the table as well. I take her by the shoulders. "Bella, what's wrong?" Bella breathes in raggedly before laughing.

"Sorry. It's just…it's eleven. We've been talking for the past two hours! Alice probably thinks I have a curfew and I…"

I laugh. "It's alright, Bella, but you needn't worry. I'm sure Alice won't mind if I keep you out late."

She looks at me skeptically. "You wanna bet?"

* * *

Rule number one: When it comes to Bella Swan, don't bet against the odds.

As I escorted her back into her apartment, we talked animatedly. There seemed to be nothing either of us wanted to discuss, except work and, playfully, whether Alice would be angry.

I felt at a loss when we reached her door. Neither of us knocked, rather, we both stood there, facing each other.

Bella was the one to break the silence. "Tonight was…better than expected." Her smile was catching.

"In other words you enjoyed yourself, yet you don't want to admit it because you were with me," I say, jokingly.

Bella smile widens. "Yes. That is exactly what I mean."

I take her hand and raise it to my lips. I gently place a kiss on the back of her hand. "Goodnight, Isabella Swan." Even though I say it, neither of us move.

I reach my hand slowly toward her face, cupping the side of her face. I lean slowly closer, watching her eyes as they became heavily lidded. She leaned forward, swaying. I caught her by the waist and pulled her close to me with one arm. She doesn't object, rather she places her hands limply against my shoulders.

I move my lips to barely hover above hers before I stop. "Are you sure?" I whisper.

Bella looks at me, her eyes hazy, but she whispers one word coherently. "Yes."

That's all I needed to hear. I allow my lips to touch hers, plundering them, exploring. I run my tongue over her lips, asking for permission. She yields to me all too easily. Her arms wrap around my neck as I tangle my hand in her hair, holding her close, making sure that she is completely tangible, completely real.

The kiss becomes more heated as our tongues dance in a completely foreign pattern to me, one that leads me to explore the recesses of Bella's mouth. Her hands travel down my chest, exploring as I back her against the wall.

Lust was a driving force, a beast which neither of us could stop, nor could we will it to stop.

"Ahem," I hear the throat clearing as Bella and I force ourselves away from each other. Bella looks to the ground, embarrassed. I look to Alice who does look extremely irate. "I'm glad that you two are having a _wonderful_ evening, but I would prefer you did so in a place that…oh, I don't know…somewhere private…like a bedroom in a secluded house or in the car would even be a better place, but I would prefer it if I didn't have to watch my innocent friend have _sex_ in MY HALLWAY!"

Bella mumbles something that I don't catch. I'm not sure if Alice does, either. I look in the background to see the tall, Native American man who had been with Bella in the hospital. He looks like he could rip my throat out when he looks at me. I glare back at him, matching his fury.

Alice takes Bella's arm and begins to pull her inside, looking extremely uncomfortable by the man at her back. "Quickly say goodbye to Edward before Jacob kills him. I don't want to be front page news for anything but my highly successful line!"

Bella turns to me, her lips red and swollen from my kisses. I feel a pang of anger at myself, as though I had done something wrong for kissing her. Her eyes were wide and still hazy. I wanted to hold her close to me, but I refrained from so much as reaching out to her, afraid that the man behind Alice might very well commit murder.

"Goodbye, Edward," Bella says, her eyes bright as she said my name, her face lighting up with a smile. "I'll…see you in the morning, then."

"Goodbye, Bella," I answer her smile with one of my own. Alice pulls her inside, whispers something to her and I watch as she spins off inside the apartment. Jacob follows her.

Alice turns to me. "Do you know how boring clubbing is when the only person who would get drunk is on a date, intent on staying sober?" Alice sighs. She smiles. "I know you two would be perfect together." She laughs. "Oh, and if you see Emmett, please, make sure he's a little bit sober. I don't want to have to be the one watching him being drunk off his ass." Alice begins to close the door before she giggles and says, "Good night, Edward," so mischievously that I have to wonder what she has in mind for Bella later.

I walk to my car with a smile on my face.

Am I supposed to feel attached to someone I thought I hated?

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**Reviews= quotes this time! I promise! Sorry, I couldn't control my laptop!...but I do have the story on a flashdrive, so it's safe!**


	15. But I'm not getting married today!

**STILL OWNING NOTHING!**

**After an extended hiatus (I know. Sorry. I got sick again! They think I'm going to have to go to specialists or get my right ovary at least partially removed. UGH! No more surgery!)**

**Anyhow...BACK ON THE AIR...er...INTERNET!**

**This chapter is actually ok...rather short, but the next chapter I'm posting...be warned...M might start there...THIS IS SAFE, THOUGH! Ha ha.**

**Without further adieu:**

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Chapter Fourteen

BPOV

"So…" Alice begins as soon as I walk out of my room the next morning. "I take it your…um…'date' went well?" Her smile is knowing, conniving.

I reach for a box of cereal, completely forgoing the eggs which Alice is cooking. "Why do I get the feeling that you think you know something that I don't know that you know that you think I know?" I say so, not jokingly, but fairly serious as I pour cereal in a flowered bowl which Alice takes out and places in front of me. She also handed me a mug, my favorite one in the shape of a snowman.

Alice is smirking. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I feel as though I'm going to hear about the entire situation from the time I leave to the time I get to work…but Alice doesn't say a word. She keeps looking at me with the 'I know something you don't know that I know' look.

By the time we get to the grassy area where everyone parks their cars, I finally cave and turn on her. "Ok, look…I don't know what you _think_ you know, but, quite honestly, I'm tired of that look. I want to know what you think you know so that I can move on with my day knowing that you are a hopelessly idiotic person who allows their mind to run rabid at the first hint of anything that could be a conspiracy."

Alice smirks at me as she puts her tiny Porsche in park. She turns toward me. I feel the enthusiasm radiating off of her. "I just need to know a few things." Her eyes are sparkling like she has spotted a store that has a big sign with 'SALE' printed on it. Her smile is almost contagious…almost.

"Again…I have no idea what you need to know…or why," I look at her incredulously. I am painfully aware that Edward is staring over at us and the top of this car is down.

"Two favorite colors!" Alice smiles. It's like we're playing association in therapy again.

"Burgundy and black," I rattle off. Partly because the shirt I'm wearing is burgundy and Edward's leather jacket is black.

"Favorite flower!"

I raise an eyebrow. Am I planning my funeral? "Rose and Freesia?"

Alice thinks for a second. "Favorite time period?"

This one throws me. "What on earth are you asking that for?"

Alice pours. "Just answer!"

"Victorian," I mutter. Why not?

"Religion?"

I blink at her, my face tired, frustrated. "Ok…I've heard enough of this one," I said, opening the door. Alice follows me as I walk toward my trailer, frustrated, attempting to ignore both Edward and Alice.

Edward sees my frustration and asks carefully, "Is something wrong?"

I look at Alice who is smiling, bounding around behind us like an overly excited puppy. A half amused smile touches my face as I look back at him. "What do you think? She's got me planning my funeral!" I say, jokingly.

Edward looks at Alice reproachfully, though his face holds hints of amusement, as well. "Why on earth would you be trying to upset Bella right before work?"

Alice smirks. "I'm not! I was just asking questions!" She seems to think for a moment and then says, "Edward, pick a religion."

I slap myself in the forehead, even as Edward makes a face at Alice and says, "Anglican?"

Alice smirks. "Good, good! Oh, and Carlisle's dad was an Anglican preacher, wasn't he?" She claps her hands together. "Oh," she says, before spinning off on her heels. "One more thing: pink or blue?"

I raise an eyebrow, my face scrunching into a less than attractive expression. "What?"

Edward lowered his lips to my ear. My body began tingling as his breath skimmed the sensitive skin. "Sometimes, it's better not to ask questions," he whispered. I felt my heart in my throat.

"Neutral," I say, breathily as Alice looks on the scene, amused.

Alice, enthusiastic as ever is all but bouncing up and down. "Ok, guys…I gotta go! Lots of stuff to do…Wedding things to price! Bye!"

Edward and I exchange a glance before it suddenly hits me. "ALICE!" I scream after her. Give me something sharp and pointy and I believed I would have put her out of her misery.

Edward grabs my arm lightly as I make to run after her. Edward's voice is soothing. "Don't let her get to you. She's probably planning Rosalie and Emmett's wedding."

I snap my head around. "What? When did this happen?...Was he drunk?"

Edward laughs. "You didn't miss something. Nothing's happened yet and…no, I'm sure he wouldn't be drunk." Edward looks toward Rosalie and offers me a timid smile. "Come on. Let's go to work before we both get threatened within an inch of our life by Rosalie.

Alice avoids me the rest of the day.

I learned that I hated parties when I was fourteen. My fourteenth birthday party absolutely was horrible and I ended up spending the night with Alice to hide from the mortification.

It should be no surprise then that when I came home, suddenly realized that there was a publicity party tonight, and that I had to be there suddenly made me feel sick.

Alice jumps me as soon as I get in the door, once again, Emmett behind me. Rosalie was waiting with her. She exchanged a quick kiss with Emmett before Rosalie picks up a brood of dresses and holds them up.

"Oh, no. Not this time. I'm fine with my Versace from last night!" I hold up my hands in protest and Alice pushes me down the hallway to her room while Rosalie follows calmly behind her.

As soon as the door shuts, Rosalie has to fight laughter. "You're right, Alice," she laughs. "She really does hate getting dressed up!"

I glare as they sit me on the bed and I become Bella Barbie.

They hold up dresses, long, short, slutty, pretty, and expensive all of them!

Alice holds up a floor length black one that has a neckline to my navel. I look at it appalled. "No way am I even trying that ON!" I would take scissors to the dress first!

Rosalie sizes it up. She smiles like a feline seductress. "If she's not wearing it, can I borrow it?"

I remove the hanger from Alice's arm and throw it at her. "Please," I say, disgustedly, "do."

So many dresses…so many colors…and then I see it.

I think I know now how Alice feels when she sees a store…the vibrant red so deep it could have been black, yet it was iridescent. It looked like a rose. There were ruffles and tiny ribbon straps. I was in love with a dress! I could feel my eyes sparkle as soon as Rosalie threw it on the bed.

I grabbed it up. "I like _this_ one," I say, as forcibly as I can be when I'm supposed to be a Barbie.

Rosalie and Alice both freeze and study the object of my affection.

"It's probably the one that most screams 'Bella' to me…" Rosalie says, tilting her head to the side and biting her lip as she studied me, her finger resting on her chin.

Alice looked at me and smiled. "Oh, my God! My non-fashionable friend has taken the first step to becoming the fashionista that I am!" Alice takes the tag which hangs off the back of the dress and her face falls. "It's also the cheapest dress," she mutters.

"I like it," I declare, glaring at Alice. She takes in a deep breath and sighs.

"Go try it on. Wear it inside out."

I open my mouth to object, but Alice stops me. "IF I have to make alterations, it will be easier to pin it," she says, her hand up as if it were a wall stopping my speech. I walk into the bathroom to put on the dress.

After struggling with the dress for five minutes, I finally get it on and zipped. To my surprise, it fits.

Alice is ready in the next room with Rosalie holding a pin cushion and Alice has a measuring tape around her neck. Alice pinches the material, pinning the seams inward. Alice moves on to the straps.

"I think we could just take these off, they're so loose," she mutters, ready to cut them.

"We can't! I mean…we shouldn't!...I mean…oh, Hell, do I even know what I mean?" I look at Alice helplessly.

"Not, you don't," she says, matter-of-factly, and pins the skimpy straps backward so that they fit my shoulders snuggly.

An hour later, I'm ready and I look like a rose, red and poofy. I'd have worn a flower in my hair, which Alice and Rose had tamed into a decorative bun on the top of my head, but I already looked like a flower. I decided that would be a little much.

As Alice and Rosalie get dressed, I stray into the living room and discover Jacob on the couch, watching some college team face off against a rival. Jacob turns when I walk in the room.

"You look beautiful," Jacob says, smiling. He stands up and takes my hand, kissing the back of it mockingly. I roll my eyes. "Good luck with the press party." Jacob pauses for a second. I think he might say something profound for a moment, and then out of his mouth comes, "And if that Masen guy so much as looks at you the wrong way, let me know."

I raise an eyebrow, but laugh it off. "Thanks, Jake; I'll be in touch."

I think I'm going to be staring at _Edward_ the wrong way all night.

* * *

**Like it? Hate it? Let me know!...even though today is two for one day!**


	16. This is Wrong, but who am I to judge?

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldn't have been driving on an empty tank of gas on a road trip to see REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA a second time!**

**Here's your second update...at the same time. I know. I'm bad. I got to write a bit in the past week! Ha ha.**

**Here is a bit of my sick mind. Sorry, this is probably rated M toward the end...**

**Oh, and Bella and Edward may be slightly OOC...I should have written this from Bella's POV, but I thought that her POV would just be terrified.**

**I hope you enjoy it...or you can hate it. I'm not really sure how I feel about it...**

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Chapter Fifteen

EPOV

After waiting an hour and being unable to so much as catch a glimpse of Bella anywhere, I feel more hopelessly frustrated than I have in the past twenty-three years of my life.

I have also consumed more alcohol than I have in the past few months.

I have had to put up with the ranting of Victoria Devre, diva of the modern movie world, for the past hour. Somehow, I think she has convinced herself that we're an item. I even told her that I was not attending the party-slash-banquet-slash-whatever-Rosalie-decided-it-was with her, or anyone for that matter.

The only date I wanted had forsaken the idea of my being anywhere close to her at that party and, despite the obviously expressed sentiments of the night before, I was fairly sure that I would not betray her wishes.

I was so smitten, she could have told me to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge and I probably would have done so gladly if she had given me her heart first.

I knew that Bella was in the room…the enormous, imposing ballroom. The guests weren't due to be seated for their dinner for another hour. I don't think that anyone in Hollywood throws a Rosalie Hale party, complete with histrionics and live music and a banquet to boot. Rather than making it a press party, Rosalie turned the atmosphere into a formal affair with suits and gown being dusted off or bought as the aging faces of the industry had to accommodate who they had become…or as the young, up and coming bulimics realized they'd lost another two sizes and should be hospitalized.

Why was I so irritable?

Bella out of my sight was becoming increasingly distressing. I felt as if I had to be next to her to warn her of all of the unforeseen pitfalls that I was convinced she would fall prey to. What happened if she decided to dance and tripped? What if she twisted her ankle in more deathtrap designer concoctions which Alice insisted she buy?

Various scenarios that ended with Bella lying back in a hospital ward assaulted me.

I needed to find Alice again. I needed to have her find Bella.

"Edward," I hear Victoria snap. Personally, I'd love to snap her neck for all of the talking she has been doing. "Have you even been listening to a word I've been saying?" The fiery red head must finally notice that I have spent more of my time looking around the room than actually half-way listening.

"Sorry, Victoria," I say, calmly, smoothly…much too calm when Bella could be in potential danger. "I'm a little distracted," I say, offering no excuse. I only do when I see her questioning expression. "I haven't been sleeping well."

The lie is far too easy, but, on other cases, it is also very true. When _was_ the last time I had gotten a decent night's sleep? For the past two weeks insidious thoughts of Bella had been creeping into my head and leaving me unable to process anything else at night except that in my head she was most certainly right where I wanted her…

And I was pretty sure that Bella Swan was not that kind of person.

I glance across the room and I see it. For the first time that evening, I see what I have been looking for. I see her red dress, just above her knees, her long brown hair pulled into a bun on the side of her skull, one of the short layers pushed to the opposite side. Her pale breasts were exposed slightly by the low cut neck line of the dress. Her long, elegant legs glimmer in the light of the room as she shifts on her black stilettos. Her hands are clasped tightly in front of her, her fingers moving intricately, trying to let go of her nerves. She looked beautiful, her face slightly uncomfortable.

She was also staring at me.

"Excuse me," I say to Victoria. I begin walking toward her, but, as soon as Bella sees me, she bolts. She moves more gracefully through the crowd of people than I thought her possible. I follow her, though it is not easy. Someone stops her and speaks with her, but she curtly tells them something, they laugh with her and let her go.

Where did she plan on running?

Why was she running from me?

I lose her and sigh. Where was she going?

I choose to go to the balcony on impulse and look out over the ocean. That was one of the reasons why Rosalie reserved this as our location. The view was spectacular, the stars brightly shimmering with the moonlight.

I look around the balcony and see what I have been looking for. Bella is hiding in the shadows, her arms wrapped around herself as though she is cold. I pause for a moment.

She does not want my company, I know this, but I slip my jacket off my shoulders and walk slowly toward her.

"What do you want?" she says, softly. She does not so much as glance at me, her cold exterior shell taking over for her. She was scared of being seen as vulnerable.

I place my suit jacket lightly over her shoulders. My hands brush over her shoulders, smoothing the jacket down. I lean close to her and whisper. "You'll catch your death out here in that dress." I see her shiver.

She jerks forward violently. "Stay away from me," she says, her voice frightened.

"Bella," I say, softly, looking at her saddened face. "Are you alright?"

She shrugs off my jacket and throws it back at me. "You should get back to your girlfriend," she says, bitterly, wrapping her arms around herself again.

And then, I see it. Her arms are a shield, they are not warmth.

I sigh. "Bella, how long were you standing there? Alone?"

Bella shrugs. "I didn't particularly feel like company," she mutters, looking out over the railing of the balcony.

I shake my head. "Bella, you are the most difficult, beautiful, stubborn woman I have ever met," I tell her confidentially as I walk toward her turned back. I lean my head close to her ear again. "Victoria and I am most certainly not together and never will be." I glance through the balcony doors at the people dancing, scanning for Victoria in the instance that I had to press myself and Bella up against a wall to hide from her.

Bella bites her lip. "Alice said…"

I wrap my jacket around her shoulders. "Bella," I whisper to her again, soothingly. "Do you not think that Alice tries intentionally to keep you away from me?"

Bella is still chewing her lip as she answers, "I know why."

There is a long silence before I ask, "Do you plan on telling me?"

Bella shakes her head. "You don't need to know."

I run my hands over her shoulders again, keeping the space between out bodies simply so she does not feel threatened by me. "I respect that decision, then."

Bella shrugs beneath my hands, trying to throw me off. I shake my head. Her resilience and denial make me want to prove to her that she would not be so jealous if she did not feel what I felt. I want to prove to her that she wants me just as much as I want her. I wish that I were entirely sober…

I wrap my arms around her shoulders. "Edward," I hear she say my name like a warning.

I lean my lips close to her ear. She gasps as I speak. "Bella, why are you trying to run from me?"

"Because I'm…" she pauses, her hands coming up to grasp at my forearms, but she does not push me away; she is holding me there. "You would most certainly be my undoing," she mutters.

There are ways in which I could easily have her come home with me, take her with me now. I could stop dreaming those pleasant dreams and make them my reality, a reality I can feel she wants as much as I do.

But I would never do that to Bella. I would be content with this. I lower my lips to her collar bone. I feel her sharp intake of breath as I pull her into me. Her breathing accelerates. I kiss my way up her neck, I run my tongue over some of her exposed skin. I have the strong urge to nip at the flesh, but I fear I will mar her lily white skin, something I will not do to her while she might face humiliation at my hands. "Tell me what could be so horrible about you and I being together, Bella," I say as I find her ear. She has a hard time finding the words she is looking for as I suck on her earlobe.

She moans, her head lulling back into my shoulder. She tries to shake away the haze. "Everyone thinks we hate each other," she blurts out, breathless. I kiss my way back down her neck, moving my jacket away from her shoulder and nipping ever so slightly at the flesh. She gasps.

"Is that so?" I murmur into her shoulder. Her breathing in on the verge of hyperventilation. I move one of my hands to cup her breast through her dress and hear her breathing hitch. My need for release grows with each sound she makes.

"Don't stop," she whispers, her head on my shoulder as I move my free hand from her shoulder to her hip and pull her against me. I hear a gasp of surprise as she feels me against her. Her breathing is erratic as I caress her with my free hand. I feel her pain for release growing with my own.

"Do you see, Bella, what I feel every time I see you walk in a room?" I move my lips up to the hollow behind her ear and kiss her, running my lips over her jaw, turning her face toward mine, searching for her lips.

"Yes," I hear her whimper. I look into her dazed eyes. "We have to stop this, Edward," she whispers.

"And why is that?" I will let her finish before I plunder her mouth. I am not a monster, nor am I an animal. I gently kiss her eye lids as they flutter shut.

"I don't want it to be this way," she mutters.

I feel my hand running over the exposed flesh of her breasts and feel a strong, primal desire to move my hand beneath the fabric, to feel her peaked flesh in my hands.

"Elaborate," I whisper, kissing her cheek, turning her toward me, both of my hands sliding gracefully around her waist to keep her close to me.

"I will not be taken out here on the stones of the balcony," she whispers.

I move one of my hands down to cup her bottom, feeling the curve of it. She gasps as I do so. "I was not suggesting that I take you here," I whisper, leaning my forehead to hers. "I would not dream of making love to you here, of all places." I think of elaborating when she cuts me off.

"I've known you for two weeks," she whispers, her lips quivering.

I laugh. "We could technically say we've known each other for the past four months."

"Yes," Bella murmurs, "When you said you hated me." There is a certain cheeky smile that plays on her face when she says it. "Isn't there…" she pauses as I lower my head to kiss the hollow of her neck again. She takes in a shaky breath. "Isn't there some sort of three date rule…or something…?"

I laugh at her. "Excuses, excuses," I mutter, putting my finger to her lips. "I suppose that you have higher morals than that, though, Bella."

Bella is stark still as I say this. "Yes…yes, they are…" Her voice is soft. "You would most definitely have to marry me first."

I kiss her cheek lightly. "Then marry me."

She leans in closer to me and, as her lips are just above mine she starts laughing. "You are so drunk."

I blanch as she spins easily away. "You won't remember a single detail about this in the morning, will you?"

"Bella…" I begin, but she cuts me off.

She bites her lip, her look playful. "And I thought we had to worry about me getting drunk. Gosh. We'd make a lovely pair, wouldn't we? How screwed up would our children be?" She laughs. She kisses my lips lightly. "Get yourself home, Edward. Sleep it off."

As she walks away, I know every word she said was completely true…and I am comforted by the fact that she referred to the two of us collectively.

Perhaps there was still hope for Isabella Swan to be mine.

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**...?**

**I feel like I just wrote something out of a trashy romance novel and tried to make it classy. Ha ha. Did I fail badly? Ha ha. Yeah...both of my characters have a very corny perception of love. Sorry, again!**

**NOW GO REVIEW! You get quotes!...and maybe cookies since I've been baking again...**

**Thank you, CullenCrest for not spamming me.**


	17. Like Pouring Raindrops Back into a Cloud

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned something...but I own nothing! Ha ha.**

**Ok...so...I noticed that I think I editted out the quote I sent everyone...Wow...I'm not a space case or anything...**

**Anyhow, I think I'm going to add another chapter today because I split the chapter like I did last time. If you review today, though, you will get a quote. **

**Um...forgot this last time: song lyrics of the last two chapters, and this one, are from 'Not Getting Married' from 'Company' and the second is 'Seventeen Forever' by Metro Station. This chapter is from 'Wasted' by Carrie Underwood.**

**Anyhow, here's the chapter!**

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Chapter Sixteen

BPOV

Almost two weeks have past since Edward's little outburst. I'm not sure if he remembers a single detail. Personally, the way he made me feel I something I will remember for the rest of my life.

Someday, perhaps I will meet someone who will makes me feel differently, who makes me love them.

Edward and I have a different kind of relationship.

Edward and I have a relationship that is completely…platonic…in all senses of the word.

I mean, there is the raw, primal, physical attraction that occurs between us, the occasional spark of electricity every time we touch, and the odd days where he will ask if I would like to go to dinner with him that usually ends with me kissing him for much too long and never wanting to come up for air.

But our relationship is _completely_ platonic.

Rosalie has suddenly realized that she has gotten ahead in her shooting schedule and that, for her mental sanity and so it doesn't screw up her feng shui, the cast and crew get a day off. Of course, the real reason could be that she called me at three in the morning and I am unsure if Emmett was back or not.

It's a Tuesday, it is now September, and that is all that I can grasp as I wake up.

Alice is banging on my door like there's a fire in the pent house. As I smell nothing, I don't make much of an effort to move from under my blankets or my mattress.

"Bella!" I hear her screech.

I groan. "Come in," I rasp.

"Finally!" Alice says as she bursts into the room. "I am not taking that dog to the airport alone while you sleep here like some fairy tale princess until noon!"

I roll over. "Did Jacob decide to go home today?"

"Yes," Alice remarks. "Something like that."

I roll off my mattress and stand. Alice is pulling clothes out of my drawers, flinging them over her arm, as if I were not capable of dressing myself. "Did they need help back at the shop or…?" I try to bat the sleep from my eyes.

Alice purses her lips as I take my clothes from her arm. "Something like that. He has to stop back in Forks first."

"Oh…" I say, fumbling on my dresser for my glasses, squinting to see them. "Why exactly is he going back to Forks first?"

Alice shakes her head. "I don't know, I don't care…look, I hate to leave you here alone like this, but, you need to drive us to the airport so that I don't have to leave my Porsche in some nameless parking lot to be stolen and abused as some random vandal sees fit."

I raise an incredulous eyebrow. "Do you plan on getting wasted in the five or so minutes we are going to be in the airport?" I find my glasses and slip them up my nose.

"No," Alice says, as if this is the most simple concept on the face of this earth. "I have to get back to New York for fashion week preparations; the show's at the end of the week. I have to do about twenty fittings and then I have to choreograph the models because my little underlings probably did not do any of the choreography correctly nor did they probably do any of the draping…the only one I really trust is Jessica and God knows she's probably embezzling money from me on the side…" Alice sighs.

"Ok, ok," I say, shaking my head. "I get it." And then it hits me like a ton of bricks. Alice just said I was going to be left alone. "Emmett will be here. You had to wake me up?"

"Actually…" Alice bites her lip. "Emmett isn't going to be here."

Oh, great. I'm going to be alone. What will I ever do with myself? Oh, I don't know what on earth I will do without being dressed up like a Barbie doll and… "Wait! What happened to Emmett?"

Alice shrugs. "His family's back in New York for the week and he thought he'd go see them. He's not leaving immediately, though. He'll only be gone a couple days at the end of the week. Back before me, actually. Oh, Bella, you should see the show! The designs this season are terrific!"

I let her ramble. I'm going to be alone in my apartment. I could call up some friends. Did I have any friends in Los Angeles? Other than Edward?

Angela! Angela lived in Los Angeles. What did she say she was doing again? Personal assistant to some nameless face to me. I don't really care. Probably never would. Why anyone would want to get paid for doing someone's shopping and organizing someone else's life is beyond me, but Angela seemed to enjoy it.

I could call her up. I don't think I ever told her I was in Los Angeles before, actually, otherwise we probably would have gotten together for drinks a while ago!

…Or maybe not drinks. Drinks are probably a bad idea when I can't hold my tongue sober.

I'd call Angela and tell her I was in town and, since she was the only person from high school worth keeping in touch with, I might as well ring her up.

Through my reverie, I notice that Alice has stopped her ramble. I decide it must be appropriate for me to speak at this interval since she is staring at me as though I should have responded politely to some comment a few minutes ago rather than actual seconds.

"So…I'm driving the Porsche and then I'm coming back to the apartment and sleeping until dark?" I strip off my extra large t-shirt and pull on the small t-shirt over my push up bra that I neglected to take off the night before.

"Pretty much."

I sigh, grabbing my jeans. "Lucky me."

"Don't worry, Bella!" Alice smiles. "I will be calling you EVERY day, making sure that you give me a full report of everything that goes on. I do mean daily! I will not let you get in any more trouble than you already have gotten yourself in!" Alice lectures me as she lists off exactly what offenses I have committed in the past two weeks.

I change my clothes methodically.

I don't need to hear how much of a failure I am this morning.

It only takes me an hour to figure out how to get the bloody car started. It takes longer to get it in gear and then to actually figure out when I need to switch gears was great. Since Alice lets no one touch her baby, it is rather complicated to learn how to drive the thing.

"Bella!" Alice screeches as I park. "You'll hurt my baby!" She nearly jumps from her car and throws herself over the hood for emphasis.

"Well, it would help if I could actually learn to drive the thing!" I mutter.

Jake laughs and pats my shoulder. "You did fine, Bells." Jake is suppressing his laughter as we get out of the car. Alice is still talking to her car.

"Jake," I call as he takes the bags out of the small trunk of Alice's car. I pity him that he was squeezed into a two seater car. I climb out of the car. "Jake, I'm sorry you've had to put up with us. With your dad back home sick and then us bickering…it must be hell for you right now."

Jacob pats my shoulder again. "S'ok, Bells. I know you'd be there if you could." Jacob glances at Alice. "Is she going to be ok with you driving her car?"

I look at Alice, still talking with her car, and sigh. "The jury is still out on that one…but it's doubtful."

I start walking toward the entrance to the airport closest us. I figure that Alice will take the hint and follow.

She does. I hear her designer wedges pounding on the sidewalk behind me. I continue talking to Jacob. "Are you coming back out here or are you going back to the shop after you're done in Forks?" I don't mean the question to sound as impersonal as it does, but I really am not sure what to say. If it had been my father who was in the hospital, I would have been frantic, calling my mother, getting the details of the incident from Renee, and then flying off to Forks, Washington without so much as a word to anyone else…except Alice, but only because I figure that she would fly out to Forks to kick my sorry ass into next week if I didn't tell her where I was going…even though she would already know.

"I'll probably head back to New York," Jacob's voice sounds as calm as if he were talking about the weather. I sigh. Why didn't men ever share their emotions?

Jake keeps glancing around at the sky outside the terminal. "You know, you don't really have to come inside with us. It will take an hour to get through security," he says, his face plastered with a smile. I know he is only half-joking.

"Nah, I've been there, done that." I laugh. "Besides, I'm sure pixie will strangle me if I don't help with her fifty bags."

I hear Alice bellow, "I heard that!" And she was not far behind me.

I hate airport security. I didn't set off any alarms this time, but, apparently, Alice's scissors, her sewing needles, her thread, and some of her silk was a flight risk and was confiscated. Alice pretty much said that she was Alice Brandon of Mary Alice fashions and that if she didn't have her scissors, her needles, her thread, and her silk back in suitcase NOW she was going to sue the airport for obstruction of civilian job and have me as her lawyer. I try to hide behind Jacob.

When we finally get Jacob to his gate he has to go board the plane almost immediately. "Jake, I'm so sorry I can't come back. Sam and Emily are going to be there, though, right?"

Jacob smiles. "Yes, Bella. I will have lots of support there."

I sigh and look back at the gate. "You're sure?"

Jake pulls me to his chest. "Yes, Bella. I'll be fine."

Alice watches us like an eagle protecting its chick. She glares at me, but she isn't breaking us apart yet. I wait, but she doesn't come tear me from his friendly hug.

"Glad to hear that, Jake," I say, backing away slowly.

Jake doesn't pull any punches and steals a quick kiss from my lips. I look at him with doe eyes, staring in shock. Alice all but growls. I see her moving in for the attack. I would have, too, but I was still in shock. "See you around, Bells."

My hand goes to my lips. It wasn't an Edward kiss. There was no attraction, and if there was, the feeling was not mutual.

"BELLA!" Alice hisses. "What about Edward?"

I turn to her in shock. "I didn't kiss _him_! _He_ kissed _me_!" I say, defensively.

Alice sighs. "Maybe you should talk to Edward." She does not seem happy about the situation. "I doubt he'll like it very much when I call to tell him I saw you kissing." Alice mutters.

"Wait! Alice!" I grab her arm. "Jacob's just a friend! You know that! Are you trying to make Edward jealous or…?"

Alice takes in a deep breath. "Bella, I don't think you really understand your situation here. You have cameras now that follow you everywhere. You are hot news because Edward insulted you. People want to see you. They want to know more about you!" Alice narrows her eyes. "People are not going to be keen on you if that ends up on the front page of a gossip rag."

I stand stunned as Alice walks away. Alice turns back toward me for one brief second. "I left something for you on the kitchen table."

With that she was gone. I wouldn't see Alice for another week and the entire time she was going to be thinking up ways to hate me.

I drive the canary yellow car into a parking place outside our apartment and leave it. What did Alice leave for me?

I run up the stairs and knock crazily on the door to our apartment. No one answers. It's only noon, so Emmett should be home. I use my key and open the door, rushing to the kitchen, slamming the door behind me.

I find a note from Emmett on the counter that tells me he's gone with Rose and he'll be back later tonight. I assume he means much later.

I stumble upon the atrocity on the kitchen table next. Front page of the tabloids again. Edward with his arm around my waist, his other hand guiding my chin up to meet his lips…and me, looking completely wanton and in lustful abandon.

I bite my lip. Who had taken this picture? I wanted to cry. I was so confused.

I wasn't confused as to whether I liked Edward or not. I was almost certain that I liked Edward_ very_ much. I could almost say that I loved Edward for all of the pain he put me through.

I was confused as to what had just happened, what I had just caused, and what would happen next. Edward and I weren't really dating, so it wouldn't have been something that really mattered…would it?

We had gone out together for the past month, but we tried never to get as far as we had that night. Why was this just front page news NOW?

Slow news week, of course…

How much has this freelance photographer gotten paid for this? How much more of my reputation would be destroyed before I finally gave up.

I sink down to the tile floor of the kitchen, the tabloid in hand, and rip it to shreds as I cry.

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**Like, hate it, whatever you'd like! **

**Ha ha. Hope it was...enjoyable...angsty...*sigh* **

**Warning now: M rated chapter if I update again today!**

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	18. Come Up and Try My New Parts

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I wouldn't have to buy the books. I don't own the movie mentioned within, nor do I own the song title from that movie!**

**Yeah...so...I would have had this up at 2 a.m. Saturday...and then CRASHED...*sniff***

**That being said...**

**THIS IS ONE OF THE CHAPTERS FOR WHICH IT IS RATED M...majorly...**

**This is full of...well...lemons...**

**Um...if people start complaining, I may tone it down, but, I thought it was pretty good since I don't write lemons often.**

**I will leave you now with this is mind...**

**review! And Contest for the character is still on until right before I introduce the character. If anyone can guess what I need the character for, you've paid a lot of attention to intentional foreshadowing...did not even know I could use foreshadowing! Ha ha. (Send me the name and if it's male or female. My hints to you are think Alice and the quesitoning and...Bella. Think very Bella moments.)**

**Have fun!**

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Chapter Seventeen

EPOV

I actually am beginning to worry about Bella. It's not that she is acting completely content to be alone in her pent house. I would be concerned if she weren't happy about being alone to do what she wanted for a week. What concerned me was just the way she was acting. It seemed completely unnatural. She seemed to be tense while trying to act as if nothing was wrong. It was like she had hit my cat and was afraid to tell me.

Had I had a cat, I probably would have gone home looking for him that night.

Alice called me to give me a status report on what Bella had been doing for the past two days and Alice was concerned that all of Bella's activities were mundane. I had loaned her a few books, even, thinking that they may keep her occupied while Alice was away. Apparently Alice was concerned that she had time to read them. I was relieved by this. There was no chance of her ending up in a hospital ward in a body cast if she was sitting in front of her television, on her couch, with a book.

But, I promised Alice that I would go look in on her after work…not that my concern for her tense behavior didn't merit my attention. It was just an excuse to make sure she was genuinely alright.

I get to her pent house and hear music turned up loud…and singing. It was actually quite horrible as it was sung through laughter and over the loud volume of the original rock music. I was not at all surprised when no one came to the door after I knocked. I was thinking about knocking again when I hear the bolts being thrown back.

The volume has also been turned down.

Bella is at the door, face flushed, hair messy, her black sweatshirt hanging off of one shoulder and her form hugging tank top the only thing in place. She was smiling until she saw my face. Then she looked confused.

"Edward!" she said in surprise, but I thought I heard a note of delight. "What are you doing here? You could have called first or…" she shakes her head to push her hair out of the way.

We stand for a moment in silence. She seems delighted, but in no way did her behavior mirror that of the work environment.

"May…may I come in?" I ask timidly as she stands in front of the door, firmly against the doorjamb.

"Yeah!" Bella moves to make room for me to move past her. "_Repo!_'s on in the living room. Would you like to join us or should I mute it?"

I look at her in surprise. "Repo?"

Bella laughs. "Yeah. It's this gothic rock opera about…ok…if I tell you what it's about you'll never want to see it." She smiles. "You're more than welcome to join us."

I look at her couch to see Angela, my personal assistant. She waves. "Hey, Edward."

Bella and I look at each other in shock. It's one of those movie moments where you know you should be blurting out 'You know each other' in tandem. Of course, this is real life, so it does not work like this.

"I see you've met," I say.

"Yes…I see you've met." Bella and I are still staring at each other.

The moment is broken by Angela. "Um…as awkward as this moment is, can I hit play so that we can watch 'Zydrate Anatomy' or should I leave?"

"Um…" Bella looks from me to the TV set. "Why not turn it on? I'll listen to it while I talk to Edward in the…" she looks around for a moment. "We'll go to the kitchen."

Bella walks us calmly behind the wall that separates the kitchen from the living room. She gets out three mugs. "Coffee? Tea? Hot chocolate…in Los Angeles...?" She smiles to herself as though the comment were completely absurd.

"No, thank you."

She picks up one of the blue mugs. "Suit yourself." She pours instant coffee into one of the cups and leaves the second one empty. Her eyes have been carefully avoiding mine since I walked in the door. I settle for watching her instead of trying to command her attention. I watch the graceful motion of her hands. I notice they're shaking. She drops the instant coffee container as she moves to place it on the counter opposite her. As it hits the floor, I hear Bella curse as she bends down for it. "I am such a…"

I'm already kneeling down next to her, my hand on top of hers. She looks at me in shock, her eyes wide. She quickly looks at the floor. "Did you need something?"

I place a finger under her chin and gently move her face upward so that she might be looking at me. "Did you hit a cat with Alice's car or do you fear some other unseen embarrassment?" I have to smile at her glare.

"Why is it you automatically assume I did something wrong?" Her face drawn into its defensive pose is extremely erotic and strangely terrifying at the same time.

"I never meant to imply that," I say, gently. Her temper is quick to flare if she fears insult. That is her defense mechanism.

"Then why did you?" Her face hardens again.

I sigh. "Why do you automatically take offense to everything I do?"

"Perhaps because your actions are offensive," she mutters through her teeth. She starts to stand. I take hold of her wrist to keep her knelt down next to me.

"What is wrong with you? Even Alice is worried!" I try to keep my voice low so that Angela doesn't rush in trying to save either one of us. Or fear she has to pick a side because Angela is too loyal to her friends to not feel torn apart.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with me." Her reply is scathing. I sense something under the surface that she does not want to talk about.

I take her face between my hands. "Maybe there isn't," I say, softly, my face moving closer to hers almost on its own accord. "But I can make the problem go away."

"Edward," I hear her weak protest. She wants me to kiss her, but she fears that it is a mistake, as she feared the first time.

This is not a mistake.

I take her lips gently with mine and I feel hers react quickly. Her arms wrap around my neck as I pull us both upward so that we are standing. I feel her lips part readily for mine and I slide my tongue into her mouth, holding her head so that she cannot escape.

She does not want to escape, though. All will is lost for both of us.

I don't let the kiss escalate. I break it off, but keep her face close to mine. She looks away and her resolve breaks. "Jacob kissed me. I'm sorry."

I knew this already. Alice felt that she had to 'report' it to me. Honestly, Alice just didn't approve of her best friend being anywhere near her brother-figure. If it helped, I felt the same about her relationship with Jasper.

"You expect me to be angry?" I say, seeing her hurt expression.

She jolts her head back to look at me. "You're not?"

"No."

Bella stammers for words. This is the second time I have rendered Bella Swan speechless. I should start keeping track of these rare occasions. "You aren't going to, like, storm out or tell me what a horrible girlfriend I am or…" She stops. "Oh my God…I just called myself your girlfriend."

I laugh lightly. "Will that take some getting used to?"

"No, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have said anything. Sorry…"

"Bella, it's alright," I say. She shakes her head. "Do you expect me not to believe you?"

"No." She says it, matter-of-factly as if she had committed some horrible deed.

"If you think you need my forgiveness, you have it. I believe you. He kissed you, not the other way around." Bella is floored by this, so floored that she doesn't even realize I still have my hand tangled in her hair, pulling her toward me to kiss her lips chastely. I lean my forehead to hers. "Do you feel better?"

"You already knew," she accused.

"Maybe a pixie told me," I say, smiling at her. "Why don't you come to dinner with me tonight?"

She shakes her head. "I've got my own night in planned." She moves away from me, stooping to pick up the coffee again. I watch the arch of her back as she moves back to my level and, spinning around, places the coffee on the counter. She smiles, looking over her shoulder. "Beside, shouldn't you be comforting Jasper and Rosalie while they whine about Emmett and Alice being gone?"

I move closer to her, taking her by the hips and whispering into her ear. "I think they can spare me for one night."

She tugs away, smiling. "Angela's in the next room and I'm missing my cult musical."

I notice that she leaves the coffee cups on the counter as she goes back into the living room. She and Angela are singing a catchy number about being locked inside of a house and how the other character is a slave. It's a catchy song which I watch while leaning against the wall, not joining them on the plush couch. Angela ruins the song by glancing at her watch.

"Bells, I've got to run!" She jumps off the couch and grabs her purse. "I told Ben I'd meet him for drinks in ten minutes and I'm still in my work clothes!" She laughs.

Bella shakes her head. "Only you, Angela." She smiles. "Go have fun! Tell Ben I said 'hello', will you?"

Angela nods. "Sorry I have to leave in the middle of the movie. I'll make it up to you sometime…we should go see it in theaters again. Bye, Mr. Masen." She waves as she flies out of the room.

Bella shakes her head and continues watching the movie. "Are you joining me or aren't you?" She smiles to me.

"I don't see why not," is my reply, but it is lost; Bella has already returned to her movie. I sit down on the opposite end of the couch and watch her curl her legs inwards so that her toes barely touch my thigh. She pays absolutely no attention, smiling at the movie, mouthing the lyrics, twirling her hair.

She's beautiful, even when she has no idea what she is doing.

We sit in silence for the next forty-five minutes. Bella was correct in assuming that the movie was addictive. I had the strong urge to ask her to start it from the beginning, just to see what I had missed, but she didn't look to be in the mood to watch it one more time.

Bella is resting her head on her hand, her eyes closing. I glance at the clock. It's only seven o'clock. She must be exhausted. "Bella?" I say, gently.

"Hmm?" She says, her face turning toward me.

"Should I leave?" I ask, moving to stand.

"Not if you don't want to go," she whispers.

"I don't want to go," is all I can reply. She looks so helpless on the couch, her body curled up into itself, her eyes tired.

"Then stay as long as you like." She sighs. I don't know how she will react as I reach for her, but I know that if I don't try to hold her now, I will never know.

Cautiously, I reach my arms out toward her, gently leaning across the couch. Her eyes grow wide at this, but she does not pull away. I pull her into my chest, my arms wrapped around her shoulders, under her chest. I watch her move her legs into a more comfortable position as she rests her head against my shoulder.

I brush a piece of hair out of her face gently with my thumb. She leans into my touch. I feel her hands wrap around my arms, to hold them there, not to push them away. I guide her chin upward so that I can press a fresh kiss onto her mouth. "I love you," I whisper.

Bella freezes. She is silent for a moment. "Edward…"

I shake my head. "Bella, I don't need you to say anything. I don't want you to say you love me, especially not now…not after all of the insults I passed to you. I just…I need you to know that I love you…I want to regret nothing before we part ways."

Bella opens her mouth to speak. I watch her brow crease as she works through some problem. "We've still got another three months to suffer through with Rosalie and her erratic filming schedule." She smiles, leaning her head into my shoulder, her eyes closing. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to."

"I'm not saying anything that isn't true, Bella," I remark, gently. Bella sits up a little at this. "I love you. I have loved you before I met you. I loved you when I saw your pictures…I just could not bring myself to admit that…and that is where I went wrong." I laugh. "To think I more or less blackmailed you into coming on a date with me."

Bella smiles. "No, that was my fault. I felt…very guilty, to say the least. I needed to make that up to you."

I lean forward to kiss her again. "You never need to make anything up to me, Bella." I kiss her lips, deeply drinking them in. I move my hand to the small of her back and pull her onto my lap. "I want to give you anything you want, Bella…anything you _need_."

Bella's legs are straddling my hips. She is breathing heavily. I keep my hands firmly planted on her hips just as hers remain firmly on my shoulders. "I…I love you, too, Edward." She innocently leans forward to kiss me and her hips brush mine. I break my resolve that if she will let me, I will lose my control with her right there.

I kiss her deeply, feeling her lips with my tongue. The kiss becomes heated too fast. I pull her bottom lip into my mouth and bite it gently, trying not to hurt her. I hear her moan. "Edward," I hear her whisper.

"Are you alright?" My voice is concerned. Did I hurt her?

"Please…" She whimpers.

"Please what, Bella?" I kiss her cheek gently, moving my mouth down her neck again, sucking on the skin, this time, I nip the flesh. I hear her sharp intake of breath.

"Oh," I hear her moan. She takes in a deep breath. "Don't stop…" She breaks off as I cup her breast through her shirt. She arches her body in toward me as I caress her breast through the fabric with one hand as my other keeps a firm hold on her waist.

I continue my descent down her body with my lips. As I reach the collar of her shirt, I stop my attention to her breast and move to the bottom hem of her shirt. I do not try to remove it, however.

"Bella," I whisper. "If you want me to stop, tell me now." I tangle my hand in her hair, lightly pulling it down over her shoulders.

Bella's eyes suddenly are no longer glazed over. It is as if she is finally awakening to the realization that we both need each other and, if this situation continues, she may regret the outcome. "I…Edward…we can't do this…"

I nip at her neck again and her exclaim. "I could make it good for both of us, Bella. I would not treat you the way any other man would treat you; I would be gentle."

Bella's comment is blunt. "So, in other words, you're saying it wouldn't be rough sex."

I smile into her neck. "No, Bella," I say, moving away to look at her. "I will not 'have sex' with you; I will make love to you. I will treat you as you should be treated, as no other man can treat you…because I love you."

Bella is breathing heavily. She doesn't want to refuse, I see that. "But…Edward…what if…"

"What if?" I prompt her.

"What if we regret it?" She whispers.

"Will you regret it?" I ask her gently. She shakes her head. "Then that is all I need to hear." I gently tug her shirt over her head, leaving her only in her bra and her jeans. Her arms go to wrap around herself. "No," I order. She looks at me frightened. "Bella, you are beautiful. Please, don't hide from me."

She begins to lower her arms. "Edward…" She whispers.

I kiss my way down her neck, over her collar bones. "Yes, my darling?" I begin to slide her bra straps down her shoulders.

"Edward…how can you say that?"

"Say what?" I whisper into her lily white skin.

"That I am beautiful?"

I raise my head back up to look at her. "You do not see yourself clearly, Bella." I gently move us so that I am above her on the couch, my thigh in between her bent legs. I reach behind her back to unclasp her bra. I hear her gasp. I kiss her mouth. "Do you trust me?" I whisper. She nods. "I won't hurt you."

"I know," she whispers.

I gently move the bra away from her body, tossing it with no concern for where it lands. I cup one breast in my hand and the other I take gently into my mouth. I hear her gasp as I run my tongue over her peaked breasts. "Do you like the way that feels?" I ask her, taking my attentions away from her body momentarily. I feel her hands tangle in my hair, bringing me back to her breast. She is beyond words. I smile as I massage her breasts, one with my hand and the other with my mouth. I feel her arch into me and, simultaneously, my need for her grows.

I nip at her breast. This seems enough to bring her back to reality long enough for her to say urgently, "Edward, we have to stop!" I sit up, concerned.

"Bella, my darling, what's wrong?" I watch her as she sits up and wraps her arms around herself as she searches for her clothing.

"I…I can't do this…not here…not on Alice couch…" She finds her bra and goes on looking for her shirt.

I stand from the couch, my erection still evident as I come up behind her, taking her gently into my arms. "I'm sorry, Bella…I should have thought…"

"No, Edward…I'm sorry," Bella says. "I am so very sorry." She takes in a deep breath. "Please, please tell me you'll forgive me." Her eyes are pleading, urgent.

"There is nothing to forgive," I whisper, holding her close to my chest. "You weren't ready."

"That's not it!" Bella snaps, violently jerking away from my touch. She finds her shirt and rushes to put her bra on. Her entire body shakes, but I allow her to do this by herself. "I just…" She takes in a deep breath. "I need to be alone."

I nod. "If you need anything…" I say, hoping that the offer does not sound like a horrible innuendo.

Bella gives me a half-smile. "I know," she says, quite clearly. "Call."

---

I put myself back into isolation.

I lock myself in my study and type at my computer. If I work, I will have some ability to take my mind off of Bella…off of the feel of her body against mine, away from the taste of her skin, her lips…

I shake my head and slam my fist against the keyboard. There is nothing that will take my mind off of Bella.

I hear the knock on my door and resist the urge to turn around and snap at Rosalie. I know it's her. I can hear the soft breathing. If it were Jasper, he would have just yelled out to me that we were going out for drinks.

"I don't have time for your sob stories. If you can't see, I'm busy," I rage.

"I…I'm sorry?" I turn around in my chair and stand.

"Bella!" I walk slowly toward her. "No, don't be sorry. You did not deserve that. I'm sorry that you had to be the one to hear that." I shake my head. "I assumed you were Rosalie, coming around to bother me, as usual," I say, trying to keep the mood light rather than having her assume I was taking out all of my anger on her.

She was completely undeserving.

Bella reaches into her bag and takes out the books I let her borrow. "Here," she says, barely grasping them as she reaches out toward me. "I've finished them. No need for them to get lost." She smiles. I note that she has changed, that her hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail. I examine the white ribbed tank top and jeans….the same jeans she had been wearing earlier that evening.

I glance at my clock. It is nine.

"What are you doing out so late, if you don't mind my asking?" I take the leather bound books out of her hands, laying them on the end table that holds one of the three lamps in the room. "You could have just waited to give me the books until in the morning."

Bella parts her lips and glances away for a moment. "I just…I wanted to come and see you…" She chews on her bottom lip. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry." She shrugs, rolling her eyes.

"Bella," I reach my hand out toward her, then decide better of it and drop it. "You needn't feel sorry for anything you've done. It was I who was in the wrong. I respect your morals…clearly much more than I do my own," I joke. She doesn't find anything humorous that I have said. "Nothing you did…nothing offended me…"

"That's not it," Bella interrupts. "I…" She sighs. "I'm not sorry because I thought I may have wounded your ego…I'm sorry because…I regret pushing you away."

I don't know whether to object to this statement or whether I should be turning her toward my bedroom. I gape at her. "Bella, you don't…"

"No," she speaks, sharply. "I have to tell you this, Edward." She takes a deep breath, as though she is bracing herself, steadying herself for some blow which I cannot predict. "You can't possibly ever want to marry me, Edward," she says with sadness laden in her voice. "I can't…I can't give you a family. I can't have children. I've come to accept that…but I don't see how any man could possibly ever even want to accept that. I could only ever be me…and I don't want you to have to settle at that. I don't want to be lied to and told how pretty I am while I'm wondering if you begrudge me because I can't bear your children. So, as much as I love you, I wanted to warn you away…" She looks toward that door. "And I think I should go."

"Bella," I say, gently. I take her hand before she can turn away from me. "Bella, darling, you don't understand." I pull her into my chest before she can run from me. I see her ready to protest, but I cut her off. "I want nothing about you to change. I love you, truly…When I marry you, I don't care if we never have children. If you want children, of course, there are alternatives, but I am content with just you. That is all I would ever ask you to be is yourself." I lean my cheek against the top of her head. "And that is my piece. Now, if you really want to go home, I'll drive you…"

"Edward," I hear her whisper. "You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not," I say, smiling. "I am being absolutely honest. You don't see yourself clearly."

"If you would still have me," Bella mutters, "I would be yours."

I blanch at the prospect of her breaking her moral code all because she thinks she has insulted me. "Bella, if you are not ready, I won't force myself upon you…"

"No," Bella says, her voice barely audible. "If you will have me, I'm yours. I'm here…If you don't want me, dismiss me. I'll walk away. I won't bother you, Edward…"

I smirk. "Aren't we the seductress tonight," I say into her hair.

"I'm not trying."

"Then you must be an expert at manipulation," I kiss her cheek lightly. "I would almost give in," I mutter against her cheek.

"But…you won't?" She seems surprised.

"Only if you truly want me to."

"Yes…Edward," she moves away from me, just enough so that she can see my face. "You know I do."

"That's all I need to hear," I say, gently, capturing her lips roughly.

We both become more heated too quickly. Her arms snake around my neck too fast, my lips move from her lips to her neck as I press her up against the wall of my study. I lick and nip my way down her neck and along her collarbones, merely teasing, feeling her body arch into mine. I hear her whisper my name in her breathless way.

I feel her hands move over my shoulders and to the buttons of my shirt. I feel the way they shake, too unsteady to be of any help undoing the buttons. I keep her firmly pressed against the wall, arms around her waist, my thigh between her legs.

I tease her just a bit more, sliding the straps of her tank top down her shoulders, exposing the printed bra beneath. I almost laugh at the leopard print bra.

I move my lips back up her neck, kissing the hollow behind her ear. "Leopard?" I whisper into her ear. I take her earlobe into my mouth and suck upon it. I hear her moan and wonder if she is beyond coherency. Her hands are still shaky as they attempt to undo the last few buttons of my shirt.

I give in and help her, taking my hands from her waist just long enough to guide her hands as they pulled the buttons apart. I return my hands straight to her waist, afterward, and capture her lips roughly. I feel her hands glide over my chest, sliding down my abdomen, I feel them snake their way back up my body to my shoulders as they slide the dress shirt away from my body. The feel of her fingers against my skin is almost enough to make me take her now.

But I will take my time with her; I will be gentle to her, and I show her just how I love her.

Her fingers run over my abdomen again, but, this time, they dip lower, gliding over my apparent need for her. I hear her gasp even through our kiss. She moves her hand to my belt and attempts to take it off.

I swing her up into my arms with a growl. "I will not make love to a virgin on the floor of my study," I whisper to her, biting down on her earlobe. She shudders.

"Edward," she moans. "Take me."

"Shh…" I whisper. "Soon enough, my darling, soon enough."

I carry her up the stairs of my house to my bedroom. Her lips wander from my lips down my neck. She has leaned one lesson from me and that was to lick the flesh, to tease the senses. She clings on to my neck as tightly as possible, as if she fears I may drop her.

I will not drop my Bella.

I push open the door to my room and lay her out gently across the bed. I hear her sigh even as I climb onto the bed to position myself over her. I kiss her mouth gently again before moving to remove her shirt and then onto her bra. I will not let her escape me this time. I hadn't shown her all of what I could do to her to make her react. I would show her now. I move the bra off of her breasts and throw it carelessly away. Bella's hands are back to working on my belt, this time successfully as they undo the button of my jeans and unzip them, but she does not have time to remove them.

I take her breast into my mouth and suckle it as I did earlier. She arches upward into me almost immediately. She thrusts herself upward as I tug at the flesh, licking the already peaked nubs higher. She squirms awkwardly beneath me.

"Edward," she whispers, breathlessly. "Please, Edward…make it stop…please…it burns…I need you…"

I move one hand to her hair and take the hair tie out of it. I whisper to her. "I will make it go away, but I will take my time."

Her breathing is heavy as I take the opposite breast in my mouth. "Your touch is torture," she moans. I have to hold back my laughter.

I feel her legs wrap around my waist. One of her feet works to push my jeans from my body. I give up on trying to enjoy her taste anymore and help her do away with them. I feel her fingers reach out for the waistband of my boxers and I gently guide her hand away. "No, Bella…I must finish with you first."

I move on to her jeans, an easy task as she wraps her legs around me. I gently remove them and I kiss her inner thighs and her apex through the thin silk of her underwear. She yelps. I smirk. "You like that?" She does not answer, she merely pants. I move her legs from my waist and bend them so the I have easy access to her opening. I guide the thin fabric over her body, gently removing it and discarding it with little care as to where it fell.

I place my hand over her woman hood and I feel her arch into my touch. She is breathing erratically. I run my finger down her folds, feeling her. She is drenched with her need. I hear her call my name again in her breathy moan as I put one finger inside her. She thrusts herself into my hand. I chuckle. "Patience, Bella."

"No…" She moans. "I need you…now…Please…"

I move my finger out partially, but I curve it this time, the edge of my finger scraping against her tightened walls.

"Oh my God!" I hear her yell.

I pay little attention to her outburst and add another finger, thrusting it deeper inside her. She arches her body upward, rocking with the motion of my hand. I can see her nearing her climax and I stop, pull away. I torture her, yes, but only momentarily, and then curiosity gets the better of me. "Bella?" I hear her breathy moan in response. "I want to try something. Will you trust me?"

"Yes…" She squirms. "Oh, God! Edward, just hurry!"

I won't hurry for her, but I will taste her as I have done in all of my fantasies. I lower my head to her opening and I dart my tongue into her. I hear her hiss. She tastes sweeter than I could have imagined. I lick her until I am convinced that she is dry, until she is screaming for me to give her release, begging me.

I let her remove my boxers, I let her pull them down my body. What I don't expect is for her to take hold of me, to wrap her hand around my length. "My…turn," she moans. I feel her hand gently clench around me and rub up and down. She does this until I beg her to stop, plead her to stop…and she continues.

"Bella," I moan. "Please…I am about to cum…let me feel you around me."

Bella stops for a moment. I wonder if she will let me. I wonder if she thinks this is a mistake. But she takes her hand away and wraps her arms around my shoulders, kissing my lips gently. "I love you," she whispers.

I part her thighs with my leg again as I kiss her back. "I love you, too, Bella," I whisper. "I love you move than you know." And I thrust into her, at first slowly, my pace increasing at her urging. Our bodies move together as though choreographed. She climaxes first, I feel her tighten around me as she screams my name, but I only decrease my pace slightly.

I need my release.

We both climax simultaneously within a few moments of our entwined dance. Bella's breathing is fast and heavy. I hear her heart beat far too fast, like the beat of a hummingbird's wings. I slowly move from on top of her and lay beside her.

"Bella?" I whisper.

"Yes?" Is her breathy response.

I take her into my arms and pull her close to me, moving the sheets around us. "Sleep, Bella. Are you alright?"

Bella snuggles closer to me. "That was amazing…" she whispers. "Perhaps I can get a repeat performance before I go to sleep?"

I shake my head against the top of her head. "You will be sore enough in the morning without me hurting you any worse."

Suddenly, Bella attempts to snap away from me. "Your sheets…" She says, as though she is panicked.

"Can be replaced," I mutter against her hair, kissing her forehead. "You, on the other hand, can not be." I kiss her lips gently. "Try to sleep, Bella."

Bella sighs into my chest, moving as close to me as possible. The curve of her body fit perfectly against me, something I thought I should have noticed so much sooner. "Edward?" I hear her whisper before she falls asleep.

"Yes, my love?"

"I love you," she mutters.

I smile against the top of her head. "I love you, too."

* * *

**No one kill me. Flames are welcome!**


	19. How To Review Chapter 18real 17

**Disclaimer: You know, it'd be really cool if I could come up with eighteen ways to say I don't own it, but I don't know if I can…**

**Ok, guys. Here's the deal.**

**Apparently when you delete or replace chapters you can't review that chapter again. Stupid me didn't know this when I deleted the author's note and replaced it that no one who reviewed would be able to review if they wanted to. ((Thank you, SexySadie))**

**Sorry…so…Any reviews of eighteen that FF thinks is a double review can either be submitted here or on a chapter you didn't review. **

**Sorry, guys! This just hasn't been my week. To top it all off I'm broke and have a speeding ticket to pay because I was late to one of my classes and the police officer broke protocol! *fumes***

**Thanks for listening to all of my rants and ramblings! I hope you all enjoyed the lemon and I will post chapter 18 by Sunday morning because I can't guarantee it to be up before 2 a.m! Ha ha.**

**Since some of you don't have the opportunity of reviewing and getting the quote, I'm posting a misleading quote here and you'll get another one. To those who have already reviewed, I will get you your quote! Bear with me! Not having the best week! Ha ha.**

**"Yes, Bella, I know you hate him because you have proclaimed it every seven seconds for the past hour!" ~ Alice Brandon**


	20. In love with the thought of loving you

**Disclaimer: I must not be a very creative person...but I still don't own this!**

**Got home an hour ago from a Twilight release party. It was grand. I am very tired, but I finally had time to finish this! Couple that with the light company turning off my power for a week and we're all just great!...that and it was my birthday and I was too tired to work. Ha ha.**

**To everyone that didn't give up on me updating, I love you! Ha ha. I love even the ones that did decide I wouldn't update. Ha ha.**

**Anyhow, the song lyrics this time are from 'Red Dress' by Lovehatehero.**

**Enjoy!**

**---**

Chapter Eighteen

BPOV

I wake up cradled against Edward's chest. I breathe in his beautiful scent.

Such a perfect dream…such a distorted world…a world in which Edward and I are lovers, engaged, married…whatever I want us to be.

This is my perfect world.

I am jolted awake by the simple fact that, as I run my hand over Edward's chest, he stirs.

This is not my dream. In my dreams, Edward was always the one waking me up. It was like some twisted romance novel where all of the scenes were perfect. This was the opposite. Either I had really decided to switch it up or this was real.

'Ok, Bella,' I think to myself. 'Don't panic…did you take your hormones? Could you possibly be pregnant? Should you use a contraceptive? Are you ok? Did you really want this? Were you drunk? Did he use protection? Why did you not have time to run through this checklist last night before enacting your less than brilliantly hashed plan?'

All thoughts vanish as I feel Edward's lips on my forehead. I wonder if my eyes look as panicked as my thoughts were. I look up at Edward, at his deep emerald eyes, at his crooked smile. "Good morning," he whispers, he lowers his lips ever so gently to mine, like a feathery caress. His lips taste sweet, beautiful…I envy him that I cannot pull off such effortless glamour after sleeping for God knows how long. "How are you feeling, my Bella?" he kisses my cheek as I adjust myself against him.

"I feel…wonderful," I say, breathlessly. I trace the contours of his muscles. He is perfect, like one of the sculpted statues of Apollo at the Louvre. I lay in silence, tracing his body for a few moments before he speaks.

"Bella, if only you knew what your touch does to me," he says, huskily. I know that Edward's control is much better than mine, so I do nothing. I do stop tracing his muscles and rest my hand on his chest.

I lay my ear against his heart and listen to the sound of it beating. It is a comforting sound and I long to always be close to that sound. "Do you…Do you regret what we've done?" I want to clap my hand over my mouth as soon as I say it. Edward's face immediately clouds with a troubled look. I run my fingertips over his cheek. "Please, don't look so upset because of me."

Edward takes my hand gently and raises it to his lips. "Do you regret this, Bella? Is that why you ask me this question?"

I shake my head against his chest. "No…and maybe I should…but I don't. I don't regret anything that has led me to you."

Edward smiles, a smile that almost seems bitter. "I do not regret this, Bella. I will never regret this…but the way I have treated you, I do regret that." He stops as I look at him, ready to say something. "I have treated you unjustly in the past before I even met you. That I regret." He kisses my lips gently again. "You and I…that is something I will never regret until the day I die."

I snuggle closer to him, waiting for my alarm clock to go off and ruin my dream…but it doesn't. I don't know if I will ever understand that it won't.

My cell phone rings instead. I jump, throwing myself out of bed and onto the floor. Edward is up trying to help me dig through my clothes as the generic ringtone blares unrelenting through what would have been perfect solemnity.

I finally find my jeans and pull the Blackberry out of my pocket. "Hello?" I answer, breathlessly and slightly panicked when I see Alice's number.

"BELLA!" I hear her exclaim on the other end of the phone. "Whatever you're about to do, don't do it because it will be the biggest mistake of your life!...and why aren't you at home? Why aren't you at work would be the better question?" Alice and her Spanish inquisition style questions aren't comforting.

"I'm…playing…hooky?" I suggest, praying it's the right answer.

Alice can be heard glaring on the other end of the line. And I do mean I could hear her facial expressions leering at me.

Edward shakes his head. I see the crooked smile on his face. I pull my pile of clothes into my lap, my lame attempt at modesty. He kisses my forehead before heading off into what I assume is a bathroom. I think it's kind that he thinks I need privacy to deal with Alice, but I also feel like he's the captain abandoning the sinking ship.

Alice sighs on the other end of the line. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm coming home today. I'll need a ride home. Emmett is staying in New York for another few days."

"But…" I begin my protest. "You're coming home early, why?"

Alice sighs again. "Because I miss my best friend. Oh! And I got some really good clothes for you! You should see them! After the show, I had to go raid the collections for some of the things back in the fashion houses here…"

I let her ramble for a few minutes before I realize that she has stopped and I am cleaning dirt from under my nails. In the awkward silence that ensues, I decide to ask, "Have you heard anything from Jake?"

Alice snorts on the other end of the line. "Why would I even waste my time talking with that sick puppy?" Alice's tone is almost mocking. "I don't know how you don't see it. And then to let him kiss you! I mean, you're practically engaged to Edward and suddenly…"

"We're not engaged, practically or otherwise!" I almost shout. "We're not even really dating…"

I can hear a devious smile on the other end of the line. "So, you're just sleeping with him?"

"No!" I say, defensively. It wasn't that. It was more than that. It wasn't a lie…necessarily…

Alice's smile is still evident. "And I thought I had time to warn you. Anyhow, pick me up at the airport at seven tonight…oh, and did I tell you that Jasper flew all of the way out here to see me?"

And so I am lost in another one of Alice's rants as I put my clothes back on and comb my hair out with my fingers, holding the phone to my shoulder.

When Alice feels the need to hang up, telling me about some surprise she has for me when she gets back home, I am staring at myself critically in a mirror in Edward's room. I pull my hair back from my face and then let it fall forward again…it bothers me, how plain I am. I sigh as I put the phone back in my hip pocket and shake my head.

I feel Edward's arms encircle me. His lips are at my throat, kissing me gently. He guides my jaw upward so that he can kiss my lips, claiming me entirely. I note that he does not have his shirt on yet. I wonder why he came back without finishing his normal routine first.

I'm not demanding.

"Practically engaged?" He murmurs. I feel the smile on his lips through his kiss.

"Those are Alice's exact words," I say, gently.

Edward kisses my lips softly once more. "I don't see what could possibly be so horrible about that arrangement."

I shake my head, placing my hand over his. "We would be the most horrible couple ever. As many problems as we have…"

Edward laughs. He kisses me again, lovingly. "Marry me, Bella."

My eyes open wide. "Edward…"

"I'm serious, Bella. Marry me." Edward's eyes are smoldering. I know he's serious. And I would say 'yes'. But, knowing that I'll be going back to New York eventually, I can't.

"I can't." I voice. "I have to go back to New York eventually and you have to stay here…"

"I'll come to New York with you, then!" I blanch. "I would give up my entire life to be with you, Bella! That's what I've been trying to say. I have enough money to support us both. I'm still in medical school, Bella. I can do more with my life than just stand in front of a camera."

I think I forget to breathe for a moment. "I can't let you do that, Edward…" I whisper.

He kisses me. "You don't have to. I will do it anyway."

"No, you won't." For a moment we both stand in silence. I smile, sadly. "We can't let anyone find out about this, you know." I say it, gently, almost jokingly, but I know he will see that I'm serious.

"And why is that?" His question is very convincing. Why is that?

"Because we're supposed to hate each other, remember?" I say, leaning my head back against his shoulder.

He kisses my forehead. "Then they can think we had a change of heart."

"Why do you want our lives to have to suddenly be so publically open?" I ask, defensively.

Edward kisses my cheek. "I don't. But I see no point in deception. Why can't everyone know?"

I can't give him a reason. "Because I'm not good for you, Edward," I say, turning to look into his emerald eyes.

"Bella," he says, curtly, almost as if he is appalled. "Why do you always think things like that?"

"I don't…" I begin, but Edward cuts me off with a soft kiss.

He brushes a piece of my hair out of my face. "You never say anything, but I can see it in your face, every time you're around me."

I shake my head. I give him a smile. "You should tell me when you see it then so I can stop."

Edward leans toward me to press a far too intimate kiss to my lips. He smiles his crooked smile as I wrap my arms around his neck and push my body closer to his. He backs away slightly. "I think you're wearing far too much for my taste."

Six Days Later

I hate shopping.

I'm stuck in the middle of an outdoor mall called 'The Grove'. Estimated travel time was twenty minutes. That's not including parking, but that's alright. I could deal with that. Half an hour after our expected arrival, we get there. We must have hit every red light in the vicinity and then Alice had to stop and make sure we were on the right course on her GPS, a gift from Jasper so she would never be lost in LA.

Now, I'm stuck sitting in some store with Alice as she browses dresses and frilly frocks which I have not interest in.

I could almost fall asleep.

Almost.

Alice's surprises for me were Dior sunglasses as I broke mine sitting on them in Emmett's car. I was less than thrilled. I thought she might be telling me she saw my mother with a man her own age or something else of dire significance. Instead, I get sunglasses.

Perfect.

We walk by a jewelry store…correction, THE jewelry store. Tiffany's jewelry, complete with diamonds large enough to give the Star of Africa a run for its money. Alice is coming in the store to look at two things: An engagement ring which she will subtly bring up to Jasper and jewelry for her next show. Tiffany's is not her provider, but if she finds something she wants, her supplier, Tyler Crowley, will get it for her.

She mooned over the engagement rings. I roll my eyes.

What was so great about getting married? Was there something rewarding about the fact that you might not die alone? Was there something rewarding in throwing a big party to say 'I have no problem with commitment?'

I sit in the corner and stew with the bags Alice is forcing me to carry spread about my feet. They need to make a service available where you can hire out a bag girl/boy for the day of shopping. Alice eventually moves on, but she makes it a point to let me know that she won't be leaving soon.

I tire of sitting and walk to the rings in the display case, studying them. There are rings of all colors and sizes, all diamonds of gaudy carat amount with more diamonds covering the platinum band. I sigh. There is nothing here for me.

I look at them, though…and then I see it: a green mystic topaz, emerald cut, set in a platinum band, two diamonds on the sides, and a plain band. I fall in love with it. It sparkles in the light like Edward's eyes. I want something that will remind me of him always. I think about buying it for about half a second. There was no reason to buy something you'd never use.

"It's the green topaz, isn't it?" Alice comes up from behind and makes the sneak attack.

"What?" I back into the display case, praying I don't catch any alarms on-duty.

Alice looks intently at my ring. "The ring you're looking at. It's the green one, right?"

I shrug. "It caught my eyes," I mutter.

Alice smiles. "You know, it reminds me a lot of Edward's eyes…"

"That's not why I like it," I snap.

Alice smiles. "I never said you did." Alice glances at the clerk. "Come on, let's go to lunch. I have to make a few quick phone calls once we decide on a place, so choose quickly," Alice jokes. She has to call one of her clients, so I would rather just go home and maybe come back later.

Alice refused this ideology.

We choose a restaurant with an outdoor table setting. It reminds me of a French Café. I like it here.

Alice ducks out immediately and takes her sweet time with the phone call. I've already started to pick at my food and ponder the ring while Alice sits in her chair across from me. She kind of raves about someone's impossible demands and I nod where expected, etc.

Alice decides to forgo lunch for herself and drags me home with her.

When I see the Tiffany store window, I know what I'm going to do.

I'm going to buy that ring. I'll wear it every day for the rest of my life if I have to to get the value of it. I will appreciate that ring. It will have a special place scaring off would-be suitors…and reminding me of Edward's eyes as they catch the light.

I tell Alice I'm going to duck into the store and just disappear.

When I get to the display case, my ring is gone.

What will be will be.

I think I pout the entire car ride home.

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**Will Bella ever accept Edward proposing to her? Will Bella get that damn ring? Will Alice ever stop dragging her on shopping trips?**

**Find out next time! Ha ha. That might be this weekend! I'm on a roll!**

**Reviews still equal quotes. I just got behind last time. Sorry, guys. You can bash me if you want! That's what reviews are for! :P**


	21. My Baby Shot Me Down

**Disclaimer: Had I owned it, I woudln't have stood in line for the DVD.**

**I think this is a first: Bella/Edward split POV in this chapter! Sorry. This one's long, dragged out, blah, blah blah...and mostly editted...which is what took so long. **

**I'm sick, so I'm taking a day off, unfortunately, I have a lot to catch up on tomorrow...but Spring Break will be here in four days! YAY! Ha ha. Or not.**

**Anyhow, the song is 'Bang Bang' by Nancy Sinatra. Anyone who recognizes it has probably seen 'Kill Bill'! **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter somewhat.**

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Chapter Nineteen

_One Week Later:_

EPOV

"And you're positive that this is the right one?" I ask Alice once she decides she is speaking to me again. After she was forced to spend three days with a rather irate Bella, she decided that it was somehow my fault.

Alice sighs, exaggerated. "Yes, Edward. I promise you, _that_ was the ring she was ogling over in Tiffany's. What a stroke of luck, too. They don't carry anything but diamonds!" She laughs. "Listen, can you give me some sort of warning before you do propose to her, though? I don't want to be out of the loop, ok?"

I have to smile. Alice being out of the loop is not even a possibility. "Of course, Alice. I will let you know…do you have any plans as to how I should propose to her?"

Alice pauses to consider this. "Are you asking for my serious opinion?"

"Yes, Alice," I almost laugh at this question. "I would expect nothing less from _you_, of all people…"

She jumps in before I can say anything else. "This is Bella. You could ask her when your car breaks down in the middle of nowhere and she'll say 'yes'."

I have to laugh. "Well, if the past two times are to be any indication, she did reject my proposal twice."

Alice seems amused as she says 'the first time you were drunk and the second time you didn't have a ring!" She pauses, as if she must consider something. "That and I wasn't there to do any extra coercing Bella into accepting…or thinking about it." There has to be a grin on Alice's pixie face. "After all, I am quite the matchmaker."

I shake my head. "Which is why you convinced Bella to hate me."

Alice sounds offended when she jumps in next. "I had a bad feeling. I don't know _why_, really, but…" Alice sighs. I hear a door open in the background. "So, anyways, Angela, that's the plan. The engagement party is going to be tentatively scheduled from seven to…well, really whenever in about a month. I would have it sooner, but I want Carlisle and Esme to be here and Esme said she's horribly behind with her restoration projects and Carlisle…well, the poor guy can't get a break!" Alice laughs. I make a mental note to call Carlisle and Esme and check in with them, feeling horribly guilty that I haven't spoken with them in months. "You know, if you were to get her present by then, she could wear it to the party. Mom and Dad would love to see it, I just know it!"

This is a less than subtle hint for me to propose to Bella in the next month or Alice will send out her connections with the New York City mob. "Ok, Alice. I will try to have all of your assignments done by the allotted time frame," I murmur. "Give my love to Bella."

"Do it yourself! And we're still on for tonight at the bar?"

I know Bella is listening, but I don't know if she can hear me. "Yes, Alice. Bella's birthday party is still going to be at the bar. We're only a week late in celebrating and she has voiced her opinions on parties very clearly. I just hope she actually attempts to show up."

Alice mutters into the phone. "Oh, she'll be there." I hear a 'crash' in the background. Alice gasps. "Your roses just met with a wall. Sorry! I got to go!"

The line clicks dead before I have time to respond. Bella wasn't in a good mood. Perhaps I should have called the entire party off. I had thought about it, rolled it over and over in my head. But, after sitting in my study for the past week, rolling the ring box in my hands, I knew what I wanted to do.

I knew what I had to do.

Perhaps Bella would respond more positively once she saw the ring.

I have to laugh at myself for thinking such a thing. Of course she wouldn't. This was Bella. She was completely grounded. It would not help my chances at all.

I go over the guest list in my head. I have an hour to get ready and I had, honestly, planned on wearing what I wore to work. I did not mind if I was the only person wearing a black button up shirt and jeans among the girl's sequined mini-dresses.

I was going to see my Bella; that was all that mattered.

I shove my cell phone in my pocket and walk up the stairs to my bedroom.

Soon, this would be not just my bedroom, but Bella's, too. This would be where I would hold her, where I would make love to her. This would be where I lived with my Bella.

If she chose never to go back to New York, she wouldn't have to. If she chose never to work again, she wouldn't have to. I would give Bella anything she asked of me.

I would give Bella things she did not ask of me.

I run my hands through my hair, trying to make myself look presentable. It still looks messy.

I hear the doorbell ring and I know I don't need to answer it as I hear Rosalie bellow, "Hurry up and get your ass down these stairs! You look perfectly fine!"

I roll my eyes and walk as slowly as possible to meet her.

Rosalie, predictably, is wearing her bright red mini-dress, nylon covering her tan legs show their seams going down the back. She sports stiletto ankle boots that I see no point in wearing as she is already almost as tall as I am. She does not look pleased to see me at the moment. "What took you so long? D'you take a nap?" She rolls her eyes. She stalks off toward the car and slides into the driver's seat of her red M3. "Will you be joining me?" She looks at me through slitted eyes. I make a mental note to talk to Emmett.

"Actually," I begin, choosing my words carefully, "I think I'll just take my car; it seems to be a tight fit as it is." I hope she believes this as her car only has 2 seats.

"Suit yourself," she mutters, eyes still slits as she guns the car. As she is the car expert in our family, I would assume that she knew what that did to her transmission. I climb in my car and begin to drive off in the direction Rosalie went.

I was driving to Bella and tonight, I would ask her marry me.

BPOV

I sit at the bar fuming. I don't down the whiskey shots they sit in front of me, granted. I'm extremely put off by the smell of the alcohol tonight.

I have not seen Edward yet.

Alice told me that I needed to look for him. He needed to talk to me about something, she said. He has to give me my present.

Rosalie comes to sit beside me, slamming down a golf beaded purse. "Two rounds of whiskey shot. Unless you have straight alcohol." She digs through her purse for some cash and gives it to the bar tender.

"Can I ask?" I watch as they set down her whiskey shots. "You can have my round if you'd like."

Rosalie throws back two shots and her chaser before she talks to me. "Life. That's what's wrong."

"Emmett?" I raise an eyebrow.

"No...maybe...I don't know!" She shook her head and threw back another shot. "I just...I feel like I am buried! We've got two and a half months left of filming. We're almost done, really, but I...I really don't know."

I reach out and take her hand. "It's ok. I understand."

Rosalie jerks her hand away. "Sorry...I can't look vulnerable in public."

I shrug. "Have you seen Edward?" I look around us. Everyone from the cast and crew are here for the free party.

Rose grunts. "Yeah. He's just walked in the door." She looks at her purse again. "Your present's in my bag...I'm just too lazy to get it out." She threw back a shot. "It's credit to the Dior boutique. I can't stand to see you in those clothes anymore."

I don't know how to feel about that. "Thanks...I think." I get up and gather my purse. "I think I'm going to go see Edward. I need to talk to him."

Rosalie shrugs, which is enough to tell me that she doesn't care. I decide to make my way toward Edward, who has just had his attention taken by Victoria. I roll my eyes and keep walking. I think about calling out to him, but I decide to surprise him.

"Good evening, Bella," I hear from next to me. I turn to see James.

"Hi," I say, fully intending to walk away from him. There was something about him that I didn't like.

I feel his fingers wrapped around my upper arm. "Now what kind of way is that to treat your birthday guests?"

I decide I might as well humor him. "Edward wanted to talk to me. I'm sorry. I'm just very anxious to know what he needs to tell me." I try to force away the feeling to anxiety that I feel. I turn toward Edward. He is looking in my direction. His eyes meet with mine. I don't care what Edward thinks. I brush James' hand off my arm. Edward continues to speak with Victoria.

I'm not sure what James has his sights on. I'm not sure what James really wants from me. "Ah. And you are eager for the inevitable, hmm?"

I roll my eyes. "What, exactly, is the inevitable?" I cross my arms, my purse dangling from my wrist. I glance back to Edward and Victoria. I muse over whether I should go and push her to the ground as she gets a little too close to Edward. I sigh. I trust Edward, though, and she's probably drunk.

I'm proud that I haven't had a single drink.

Why didn't I want alcohol?

James shakes his head. "Poor, innocent Bella. You don't even know the rules of this game, do you?" He reaches out for the piece of my hair that has fallen down to my shoulder. I jerk away. I curse Alice dressing me in this gold dress.

"What are you talking about?" I shake my head to throw the hair away from my shoulders.

James wraps his arm around my shoulder. I cringe, my face twisting into a disgusted expression. He turns me to look back at Edward and Victoria. "Watch, Bella. You see, you've been…taken for a ride, as they say." I raise an eyebrow. "Watch closely."

I do. I see nothing. "This is ridiculous," I mutter. I turn back to watch Victoria and Edward. It's like a cue, Victoria presses a kiss to Edward's lips. I shudder and I turn away. I don't cry. I don't want to. Victoria was drunk. Whatever happens next…that's not a concern of mine. Maybe he really is the playboy that I thought he was.

It doesn't matter to me.

HE is no concern of mine.

He means nothing.

As I walk away, I know I'm lying to myself. But that doesn't matter. I will keep lying to myself then. I'm very good at pretending, even if I am a bad liar.

I hear someone call my name, but I don't bother to turn back. I almost sprint outside.

EPOV

I see Bella running. I throw Victoria away from me and run after her. "Bella!" I call to her again and again. She keeps running.

Rosalie comes up to me. "Hey, hey, hey…what's going on?" Rosalie looks concerned.

"Victoria! That's what's going on!" Rosalie stops me.

"Don't blather. I don't know if I really want to hear it. Just tell me if Bella is going to quit on me tomorrow morning."

I groan with Rosalie's conceitedness. "I don't know, Rosalie! I need to find Bella! I have to explain!"

"Oh," Rosalie takes a sip of something in her hand that looks a little harder than she usually has. She forgoes the sip and takes a gulp. "Good then." She walks away. "I'll let Alice know where you're going," she calls as she struts off to Alice and Emmett.

I push people out of my way as I run outside.

I see Bella immediately. She's leaning against the wall of the bar, one leg folded so that her heel meets the wall. "Go away," she says, not even bother to look at me. I watch her take a deep breath, over and over. The rhythmic movement of her chest makes me want to pull her to me and hold her.

"Bella…"

"No," Bella says, "I don't even want to hear it."

"Bella, please, let me explain," I try to reason with her. This is the only way I know to make her try and see. I want to explain, I want to tell her what happened. I can't do that if Bella will not allow me to.

"I don't want to be a part of this anymore," Bella says. She looks composed, resigned, as if she has accepted her fate and she is willing to live with it as it comes. She turns toward me, a sad smile on her face. "I can't do this, Edward. I'm…I'm fine, really…I just want to be left alone…" Bella takes a deep breath.

I take a step toward her. "Bella, I really don't understand what you're saying!"

Bella shakes her head. "Neither did I…" She bites her lip. "I…I don't want to see you again…I'm fine with work. I won't quit; you can tell Rosalie that. Assure everyone you want of that," she pauses. "I don't want any part of this anymore." She turns toward the parking lot. "I'm…I feel much better now. I'll see you at work."

I watch her walk off. I can do nothing about it. I can't go toward her. I can't comfort her. I curse Victoria. I have half a mind to go back in the bar and hit her. If I weren't half the man I am, I might just do that.

No, I know who to blame. I turn back in the bar and go to seek out James. I find him standing with Victoria, his arm around her. I call out to him. As he turns, I hit him. Rosalie is up from the bar in an instant, even though she is more than a little tipsy.

"You planned this!" I yell at him.

"Harmless fun, Eddie. It's honestly not that…" I hit him again.

"Edward!" Rosalie yells at me.

I feel Emmett's arm locked around mine. Alice looks at me with her mouth hanging open. Jasper has her pushed out of the way like I might attack her. "Let me go, Emmett."

Emmett's voice is serious. "First of all, you owe all of us an explanation. Second of all, how do I know you won't just hit him again?"

"Trust me," I glare. "He deserves it."

Rosalie tries to smooth things over with the people around us. She takes Alice and Jasper and tells Emmett to drag me to a car. "We're going to back to his place…and he's going to be telling all of use exactly why he had a reason to cause this mess."

I had a reason. There was a woman who was at home, turning over in her mind that I was her enemy. There was a woman who I had been going to propose to, a woman I wanted to be my wife, who had been hurt because I hadn't pushed away Victoria in time.

I had to find a way to get my Bella back. I take the ring box from my pocket. This was Bella's ring and I would make sure that someday she wore this as my fiancée.

I had to find a way.

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**And now...what happens next? How will Edward and Bella get back together and why?**

**Reviews=Quotes!**


	22. If Ever There Was a Doubt

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing...unless you count Twilight related April Fools jokes I played on a couple undeserving fans who live next to me.**

***sigh* Hi! Been a while...wasn't really sure how to write this chapter and changed it...and changed it some more...and then made it less descriptive and explicit than had been intended because it got very long...**

**In the end, raising a one year old and writing at the same time are not my fortes today! **

**Sorry for taking so long on this update!**

**Hate it, like it, I don't care...You guys still probably have at least two good chapters to yell at before I end it.**

**Song is 'Look After You' by The Fray**

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Chapter Twenty

BPOV

_One Week Later_

"It's against my morals to forgive him, isn't it?" I murmur as Alice walks absently around my trailer. It is cold, it is raining, and my mood is horrible.

"I put nothing past your morals," Alice says, playing with a scarf she found on the rack where the make-up artist keeps his things.

"Alice, stop giving me sarcastic comments," I snap. Alice rolls her eyes. She's been putting up with me for the past week.

"Let me just say, when you start saying 'I hate him', I saw it coming a mile away…seriously, Bella…maybe you should have actually listened to Edward…get rid of your own version of reality for once." She ties the pink scarf around her spiky hair. "This would look really nice with that…"

"Al." I curtly try to bring her back. "Why should I have listened to what he had to say? He would do anything to win me over."

Alice shrugs, going to replace the scarf. "Maybe he really is telling you the truth?" I open my mouth to protest, but she holds up a hand. "Look, I heard both sides of the story and I've been taken through both sides of the story in slow motion. What I'm saying is that you need to look at things from another angle, too. You're not a selfish person, Bella. I know that. But stop acting like a hormonal sixteen year old and grow up! Get a grip! You should have seen the way Edward broke James' jaw when you left!" Alice taps her long nails against the vanity I'm sitting at. "You ruined a good thing for you, Bells. I mean, that ring…damn…"

My head snaps up, trying to come up with a smart alek comment, forcing myself to hold my tongue. "Since when do you curse?"

Alice shrugs. "That ring was nice. Tiffany, Bella! Tiffany!"

I steel my face, trying not to let the doubt show through. "You're wrong!"

Alice leans toward me. "How could I be wrong?" She taps her forehead. "I was in on it! I called Edward and he bought the ring the day you picked it out! Why do you think I _had_ to go to Tiffany's? That jewelry is so gawdy…"

"Alice!" I snap.

"Sorry. Anyhow, Edward told me to take you jewelry shopping, find out what kind of engagement ring you liked, long story short, I called him while we were at lunch and he was conveniently down the street. He bought while I delayed lunch by about an hour with several business calls and then I let you go back to see that your ring was a no show." She smiles. "Worked to perfection, couldn't go wrong, life's a bitch…"

"Who gave you alcohol?" The comment is mainly sarcastic. The last time I remember her cursing like this was when we were eighteen and in England with no legal drinking age. God forbid she be the sensible sober one away from home.

"Your hair dresser has a stash. Let me just say, it's heavenly! But I didn't drink any today." I make a mental note to look around my room to make sure no one else left a stash under my care without informing me. "Just…you should talk to Edward, Bella. As soon as his next scene is over. Talk to him!" She looks at me pleadingly.

I sigh and turn back to the mirror. "Why does it have to be so hard when looking through guys? Why can't we just have Romeo? Darcy? Tristan? Heathcliff, even!" I shake my head.

Alice unclasps a necklace with a butterfly on it and begins to snake it around my neck. "Romeo's dead, Darcy's married, Tristan had loyalty issues and is, consequently, dead, and Heathcliff was a sadistic abuser who is dead by the end of the novel. None of them really reformed. They were fictional. They don't exist. None of those good things can happen to you in real life." She pauses from her soliloquy to think for a moment, as if she might have something extremely profound to say that could wrap up the monologue and cure all of my problems magically. "Good men can be found outside of fiction…they just…ok, so _you_ have to look REALLY hard. It's like building Rome: it can't be done overnight." Alice shrugs and then goes toward the door. "Just…talk to him?"

I mutter some obscenities before she leaves. "It will be a cold day in Hell!" I yell after her. But, what if, just maybe, Edward isn't like everyone else? What if I should have been listening to him this entire time? What if I was wrong?

I hated admitting I was wrong…

But…I can't help but wonder…what if Edward really meant all that he told Alice. Why would he lie to _her_, of all people?

It's enough to almost make me want to talk to him…

Almost…

I don't shoot for another two hours. I'm not going out to lunch, I'm not hiding in my trailer…I'm standing in the rain, which really works well with this scene, so I can talk to Edward.

I will be the party apologizing today.

`I watch a Heathcliff/Isabelle scene. I try not to vomit. If looks could kill, Victoria would be on the ground without a pulse. When Rosalie yells 'cut' she's angry…and that is not a good thing. I can see in her eyes that she didn't get any sleep the previous night…or she was dying to get in a row with someone.

Tanya walks over to me and hands me a bottle of water just as Edward approaches. "Here's your water, Bella…are you certain you wouldn't rather have coffee or something else with caffeine?"

I shake my head. "No, thank you." I smile as strongly as I can. As I glance at Edward, I guiltily undress him with my eyes. I must be blushing, but I can't stop. Guilt and desire coil in the pit of my stomach.

I want to get down on my knees and blurt out my apologies before the god Apollo.

Edward starts to walk past me. "Hello," he says, greeting me a little too warmly.

"Hey," I murmur, softly, not a reflex, a force now.

Edward stops and looks at me surprised. "Are you speaking with me again?" He appears to be amused. As he crosses his arms in his eighteenth century clothing, I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing at the way his sleeves move. It reminds me of Alice in an evening gown.

"I suppose I deserve that," I say, smiling, still.

Tanya comes up to hand Edward coffee. "Coffee, black, anything else either of you need?" She looks from me to Edward. I shake my head, Edward does the same.

"No caffeine?" Edward studies the water bottle in my hand.

"Coffee and tea don't sound good…and even when they do, _nothing _tastes good…" I take a sip of the cold water and pray that it will sooth away some of the roughness I feel in my throat. "I don't know. It's weird. I'm probably coming down with a bug. I'm getting used to my bread and water diet after it goig one for about a week." I'm only half joking.

Edward looks at me concerned. He reaches a hand out toward me and then drops it. "Have you seen a doctor?"

I shake my head. "To be stuck up with needles or to die…" I pretend to weigh my options. "I'd take the lower road."

Edward shakes his head, smiling at me. The gesture is fond. I am seriously reconsidering that begging gesture. "You are very stubborn, Bella."

I bite my tongue to hold back a reflexive response. "I deserve that one, too," I mutter.

Edward starts to walk away and there is nothing I can really say to keep him there. He stops, though and turns back. "Bella?"

I snap nearly to attention. "Yes?"

"Are you sure that you're feeling alright? You look like a ghost…"

I feel the defense flare. "Of course, I'm feeling alright! And I'm always pale!"

Edward smiles. "You are so stubborn."

I cross my arms. "I'm sure I know how I feel, though."

Edward takes a step closer. "Promise me you'll go to a doctor, Bella. I…Rosalie would be very distraught if she had to go through the rest of filming without you."

"If I feel like it, I may go to see a doctor." I feel the anger in my throat raise.

"Bella, would you listen to reason?" Edward barely raises his voice.

I glare. "It's not your place to be involved in my life."

"Maybe you're right, but you should at least be concerned for your own wellbeing!"

"Why are you so concerned?" I hiss.

"Because I care," Edward says, his voice harsher than necessary.

"If you cared you'd leave me alone, then!" I glare at him. "I try to talk to you, to listen to you and I end up arguing with you!"

Edward takes another step toward me. "Bella, you seem to constantly be the one who wants to start a fight and contradict anyone who may be trying to be on your side!"

"I…" I stop. I really can't argue with him. We're right in front of each other and there are probably more people than necessary watching.

Edward reaches out a hand toward my hair and pushes it behind my ear.

I lower my eyes. "Can I ask you one question?" Edward nods. "If I kiss you, will you push me away?"

Edward's lips meet mine gently. "Never."

I hear Alice. "So, does this mean that those two are back together?" Edward ignores her and kisses me again.

As I revel in his touch, I hear Rosalie. "Oh, yes, Alice. I believe they're back together…Oh, get a room…later! You're obstructing my set!" I vaguely hear Rosalie telling people to go away…something about how wardrobe needed to be called.

I hear Alice cackling behind me. Edward finally lets me regain the use of my mouth, but he holds me close to him. Rosalie's voice sounds disgruntled. "Oh, just give her the ring already and get it over with! I need you both on set in two!"

"Should I ignore her?" I ask Edward, jokingly.

Edward shrugs. "Will you marry me, Bella?"

I kiss his lips gently. "Take me to Vegas now," I murmur.

Edward laughs and lets me go, taking hold of my hand. "I highly doubt the small one would allow that."

Alice smiles. "No worries! I already have the wedding planned!"

I groan, but not out of frustration…out of the sheer perfection of the moment.

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**Do what you will! Reviews=Quotes more promptly because I have the next update done to be posted tomorrow...we hope...but I'm supposed to go out for my 'birthday' since I was forgotten almost a month ago. Ha ha. **

**Happy late April Fools to all of you...especially the ones of you that weren't at war with neighbors who happen to have access to your outdoor faucet...**

**BlkTgrRdRse**


	23. All I Ever Wanted

**Disclaimer: I still don't own anything but the concept of this story.**

**Hey, guys! **

**A little later than expected. I'm never going out with friends again. They completely forgot it was my birthday, too! Ha ha. I've been sleeping for days after walking the entire day! Ha ha.**

**Anyhow, shout outs to . This chapter was going to happen before your review, but to answer your question, here it is!**

**Without further adieu, here's chapter twenty-one!**

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Chapter Twenty-One

BPOV

_Three Weeks Later_

I hate food.

It is the enemy.

When I said I was coming down with something, I really meant it.

I haven't been able to stop vomiting for three days. Alice has been growing more and more concerned, urging me to see a doctor, take medicine, asking about my hormones: have I been able to keep them down? Was my stomach reacting weirdly to them?

Apparently she had noticed that I usually threw up in the mornings when I took my pill. I'd give her points for observation. I hadn't even noticed when I was throwing up. I just tried to ignore it and prayed that I didn't throw up at work where I couldn't hide it.

The only decent thing that came from being sick was that I did not have to endure Alice's wedding rants.

Alice has been Googling 'nausea' and 'hormones' or 'birth control' for the past hour as I worship the porcelain god that is my toilet. I vaguely hear her ranting in the other room that if I wasn't going to a doctor she was going to diagnose me and then run it by Edward the med student.

Seriously, did he really have time to keep up on his studies if he was out working on film sets?

Maybe I'm just dying…slowly…I haven't even been able to keep down my water and cracker breakfasts for the past three days. I fear eating lunch and dinner is painful because I am pretty reassured that I will see it again. I have to be getting better. Nothing lasts this long!

My appendicitis only last four days before my appendix ruptured as they were taking it out.

I am finally able to sit up without feeling dizzy. I run inventory on everything that I need to do today as I glance at the clock to see that it is six a.m.

First things first, go to work…maybe test to see if I could keep down crackers.

Second thing…make a doctor's appointment. I couldn't go through with this much longer.

Then I had to somehow find something to wear to Alice's engagement party…something suitable to meet Edward's parents…and then have Alice tell me it wasn't good enough and either rip it apart and put it back together or give me some new concoction that I wouldn't have dreamed of wearing in my life.

The day would be hectic and I still felt nausea hitting me like a tidal wave.

Alice comes in my bathroom with a rather intimidating stack of papers she's been printing off. "So, this is all of the illnesses in the world that involve nausea. We're going to go through them all and see what you have because I'm getting you put on some kind of antibiotic before the week is out!" She sits down next to me and starts at the top of the stack, reading some scientific name that makes me gaze at he skeptically for even attempting to say it. "No…you haven't been to any foreign counties…Unless you count California as being completely foreign compared to New York, but I'm pretty sure they mean actually being out of the country in some third world region…" Alice looks through papers rifling through them and going over diseases that she thinks I could possibly have as we both sit there in our pajamas. Alice suddenly glances up. "Maybe I should just take you to the ER, Bella…your skin is about as green as that ring on your finger."

"No, Alice," I mutter. "No doctors." I run my hand through my hair and see her concerned face. "Ok…maybe a doctor, but I don't want to be poked and prodded with needles so they can say 'we don't know what's wrong with you', Alice." I look at her pleadingly.

We both snap our heads up as we hear footsteps making their way through my room. "Why on earth are you both up two hours early?" Emmett shakes his head. He glances at me. "You're still sick, Bella?"

I groan. "Just leave me alone, Emmett!" I snap.

Emmett laughs. "Forget your hormones? You're as moody as a pregnant woman!"

"No," I hiss. "I'm as moody as a sleep deprived diva who has been vomiting for the past three day!"

Alice looks like she wants to scoot backwards, but she's currently sitting up against my bathtub. "Calm down, Bella. It's ok…maybe you should try to go back to sleep…?"

As she says it, I launch myself back to my sanctuary and Alice grabs for my hair to keep it out of my face as I feel the bile rise up my throat. When I'm done, Alice settles back with her paper. "Any chance you've been around someone with Spanish Influenza?" Her suggestion makes me want to empty the rest of the bile in my stomach.

"Alice," Emmett murmurs, "Maybe you should stop trying to play doctor and let Bella go to a doctor herself. I would say I'll drive you both now, but something tells me Bella is not going to go for that."

I shake my head, keeping it bent over the toilet.

Alice rubs a smoothing hand over my back. "Em, you're not making this any better…or easier."

Emmett sounds very standoffish as he says, "Yes, well, at least I'm not telling her that she may have the Spanish Influenza!"

Can the day just get over with now?

Alice is a rat.

A snitch.

A tell-all gossip who likes to make my business everyone else's!

Yes, I'm pouting.

Alice told Edward that I was sick. Not only do I have her pushing me to go to a doctor, Edward is now ready to carry me off to a doctor's office himself. I cringe at the thought of having to have him come with me to a doctor and sit in the exam room. It was a terrifying thought in all actuality.

Edward gave away Alice when he asked how I felt and he was definitely concerned. If I'm a bad liar, he is, too, where I'm concerned, anyhow.

I sigh as I sit at the vanity in Alice's room of the pent house and smear the best make-up job I can muster onto my skin. More or less, I look like I have no make-up on. The colors are muted, everything is neutral. It's nothing like Alice's smoky eye shadow and ruby red lips.

I'm wearing a black dress again. Plain, simple, with a drape around the back of the neckline. With my hair pulled back, I look pretty nice…and trashy without Alice's make-up experience. But, really, I look just like the average person who might be going to their friend's engagement party. I would just have to hope that there were no cameras here.

I walk out of Alice's room and down the hall to find Rosalie and Emmett in the living room.

"Emmett, do you not know how to tie a tie?" Rosalie scrutinizes, only half joking. She is straightening out Emmett's shirt collar as I walk in the room. She ties his tie next. I suddenly envy Rosalie with her bright red lips and her red dress. Rosalie the bombshell. I can't even wear anything in red and it seemed every dress she owned mocked a fire engine.

"Hey, Bells!" Emmett calls, hoping to spare himself from Rosalie, I assumed. I smile and wave weakly.

Rosalie glances over her shoulder. "Are you sure you feel up to going out tonight? Alice said you had a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, anyhow. You could easily skip this torturous event."

I almost growl. "Yes, I'm going." I believe that pretty much means the entire world knows that I have the flu. "If I don't go," I say, trying to lighten the mood, "I'll have Alice after me for the rest of my life."

Emmett nodded. "This is a very true statement. Alice would have her murdered with her via mob boss."

Rosalie and I both say, nearly simultaneously, "Alice doesn't know any mob bosses!" Emmett just laughs.

Rosalie walks toward the door and waves me to follow as she throws a fur stole around her shoulders. I don't think it's real…but this is ex-model Rosalie Hale. "Come, my darlings. We have to book it to dinner. Alice will be furious if we're later than Carlisle and Esme…and since we know Carlisle is always early…" With that she did some kind of eye roll and stepped out the door. Without a choice, I followed to the Spanish Inquisition.

"I worried about you guys!" Alice is absolutely fluttering around the entry way of the restaurant. We were supposed to get there early, but if I had known that Rosalie was rushing me out of the house an hour before I had to be some place to a restaurant that is only five minutes driving and ten walking if we were going very slow, I would have barked out that I was not leaving as I already was sick to my stomach.

"Ah, Alice!" Rosalie croons. "Emmett was with us. Nothing could have possibly happened." Jasper is holding Alice by the waist. I'm surprised she can stand up straight. She looks like she's about to be fed to the wolves. "And besides. You had Jasper and Edward to keep you company while we were on our way."

I would have gone unnoticed if Rosalie hadn't brought up Edward's name which made me actually step inside the line of view of the entire room. Edward sees me and smiles. I smiles back and walk toward him.

I'm waiting to be questioned.

But he doesn't question me. "You look lovely tonight, Bella," he whispers to me. He places a quick peck onto my lips. No questions, no distrust whatsoever.

Just 'you look lovely'.

Maybe that's what love is: trusting that the other person knows what's best for themselves.

Or maybe I'm thinking of 'reckless abandon'…but there is only one party involved in that whole crisis.

Edward lets me rest my hand on his arm as though he might escort me, though we are both merely standing there. Rosalie is trying to calm Alice, who is fidgeting and bouncing in her high heels. We seem forgotten for the most part as we stand off to the side, watching Alice's minute breakdown.

"She worries over nothing at all, doesn't she?" I ask Edward, smiling. Alice would be the only one to worry about something so trivial. Edward had already mentioned that Esme considered Alice as one of her own children.

Edward nodded and smiled. "Of course she does. Carlisle and Esme will be delighted to see her again." Edward's eyes meet mine for only a moment and he moves to place another chaste kiss on my lips. "And they will adore you, as well, my love."

I can only smile. "I hope so…though, I should say to you that I am so happy at the moment that even if they hated me, I should take very little notice."

Edward tucks a strand of my hair that has fallen forward behind my ear. "Of course you wouldn't, Bella; I would expect nothing less. I wouldn't notice, either." He chuckles a little about that statement. "I'm sure that they will both love you as soon as they see you..."

"Oh, so you want me to be nervous now," I say, jokingly. "I see how it is." I smirk at him.

Carlisle and Esme walk through the door soon after I finish my sentence. How do I know it's them? They are just as gorgeous as Edward and Alice and Rose. The man, who must have been in his forties at the least, looked like he could have very possibly been a model at some point in time and the woman with her long brown curls that showed not even the faintest hint of gray looked to be the perfect figurine on the runway.

"Esme! Carlisle!" Alice all but launched herself into the arms of the man while the woman laughed.

"It is lovely to see you again, too, Alice," Carlisle said, laughing.

Edward shook his head, though he smiled brightly. "Alice, perhaps you could wait until they got in the door of the restaurant?"

Esme moves toward me. "So, this is my son's fiancée." I extend my hand to shake hers, but she forgoes it and wraps her arms around me in an embrace. When she finally lets me go, she launches into more prose. "Edward can not stop talking about you when he calls. You have him…how should I say…quite enchanted. I can see why. You are very beautiful and very gentle, I can see. You both look lovely together."

I feel myself blush. "Thank you, Mrs. Cullen."

"Call me 'Esme', please." Edward is speaking to Carlisle, allowing Esme to confide in me, so I suppose she thinks. "No, Bella, thank you. Edward has never seemed more alive than when he is with you. Would you believe that I hadn't seen him smile in years until I saw him with you tonight?" I take in a slow breath. I could see some of what she was saying. "I thought that this business had ruined him. I was so glad that he was going into a pre-med major instead of drama in college that I could hardly contain myself…but, now, I'm glad that I could never convince him to quit; he did find you."

I bite my lip. I wasn't sure how to react to Mrs. Cullen's compliments. All I could so was stare and smile…and occasionally nod. And, the worst part was, Esme seemed to understand.

The rest of the introductions were a blur, basically because Emmett and I were the only ones being introduced, so nothing was memorable, except Esme's bright smile when she looked at me, proclaiming that she had seen so much about me on the news. I must have cringed because she added that all of the things were so outrageous how could any one believe I had actually done them. I glance at Edward who seems to be attempting to keep back the same laughter I feel building in my throat.

We settled into dinner with me immediately browsing the menu for crackers. Everyone around the large round table looked critically over the menu. I felt nausea in the pit of my stomach and not just because of the mention of food. I ordered soup and water before anyone could try to change my mind.

Esme shook her head. "You celebrities, always trying to watch your weight. I don't know how you survive!" Her smile was still bright and joking. I opted out of explaining that I was just sick.

"Bella's had the stomach flu for the past three days," Alice blurts out. I hope she takes a hint from my look that if she came home within the next week she would get her head bitten off.

Edward looks at me concerned. "Bella, are you feeling well enough to stay here? I could take you home…"

I sigh. "I'm fine…I just would rather not chance having to see this meal again." Emmett tries to hide his laughter.

Esme looks at me as if she can see to my soul. It scares me. She doesn't speak, however. It is her husband that questions me. "Have you thought of exploring other possibilities? If you've been ill for three days without improvement you should consider seeing a doctor…"

"Dear," Esme cuts him off. "Let's not bother Bella with work during dinner. I'm certain that Bella will be just fine." Esme smiles at me.

When the rest of the table seems distracted enough Edward leans close to whisper in my ear. "Why didn't you tell me that you had been ill?"

I look at him defensively. "I didn't want to worry you…and I thought that you already knew!"

Edward shook his head. "Why would you assume that?"

"You asked if I felt alright at work today," I say, off-handedly.

Edward smiles. "You looked extremely pale; you still do. Are you sure that you don't want to go home?"

I shake my head. "I would rather be here than alone and bored in the pent house."

Edward's voice is husky in my ear. "Who said anything about being alone? And you would not be going to the penthouse, Bella; you would be coming home with me. We would most definitely not be bored."

My breathing hitched. Why was he doing this at dinner? "You almost convinced me," I mutter, but it won't work!"

As the dinner wears on, suddenly, Rosalie realizes the time is ten o'clock and proclaims that she needs to get home. Emmett said he would drive her. Alice and Jasper would meet him back at the pent house. Edward had already decided that I was not going home tonight.

As I get up from the table and everyone is saying their goodbyes, Esme comes around the table to give me a parting hug. "Congratulations, Bella," she says as she pulls away.

"What do you mean?" I ask her more than a little confused.

Esme dismisses me. "No one else may see it, but I know. I can see it in your eyes. Have you told Edward that you're pregnant yet?"

I let go of my clutch in shock. Everything spills out as a loud 'crash' is heard at my feet. I feel my eyes widen.

"Bella?" Edward takes a step toward me to help gather the contents of my clutch. I wave him away as I fall to my knees and, with the help of Esme, put everything inside the clutch.

"I'm not pregnant, though, Esme," I say, almost opting to look at the ground. "You see, that's quite impossible…for me to be with child…"

Esme looks at me confused. "Why do you say that?"

"I…" I can't lie and say that I'm a virgin simply for that fact that I am a bad liar. "I had an infection that manifested itself in one of my ovaries…I am on hormones and birth control just so that I'm not in pain. It's…just impossible."

Esme smiled and took my hand. "I should hope that you will then go to see a doctor soon, Bella. If you ever need me, Edward had my phone number, alright? I should love to speak with you again!"

Edward comes to my side after everyone leaves. "Are you going to be all right, Bella?" He looks concerned. I feel his hands on my body in a clinical touch.

I nod my head, attempting to alleviate his fears. "Of course, I'm perfectly fine," I say with a smile.

I was in no way fine and I was more than a little panicked.

* * *

**Love it, hate it, fame, praise...reviews equal quotes and the next chapter will partially be a lemon!**

**Oh, and I forgot to mention, I'm posting a new story. This one's a romantic comedy. Check it out!...well, you don't have to, but I'd love to hear your feedback on it...as soon as I get it posted in about an hour.**


	24. I Think We Have An Emergency

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**DISCLAIMER:...how many ways can I possibly say 'I do not own the names, characters, etc...'**

**Anyhow...this chapter took so long because: A-I was/am bogged down in so much work and so many tests... and B-This was about seven thousand words before I cut out half of it. **

**I'm sorry for making everyone wait so long for this...which is seriously bad in my opinion. I apologize and this chapter will probably lose me a lot of readers...but I didn't kill anyone! Ha ha. And this isn't the end, either! Two-Three more chapters...depends if they're going to get carried away and be seven pages again...then I might have to extend this again! **

**Sorry, again, guys!**

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Chapter Twenty-Two

BPOV

Edward notices my silence on the car ride through the city. I muse over everything that I currently know.

1-I was sick. I had been sick on and off for years after my surgery because my immune system was not what it used to be. There was nothing abnormal about this.

2- There was only a one in one million chance that I could be pregnant. I simply _couldn't_ be pregnant. If not because I had been told I would be completely infertile then because the cists which developed on my ovaries would see to enough complications that I would miscarry…if I was lucky.

The other consequences included me not being able to carry a child to term and the high possibility of a tubular pregnancy. That would lead to an abortion. I couldn't live with myself then. In all three scenarios, my child died.

I take a deep breath that releases as a sigh. I'm not pregnant, though. I've just got the flu. I would go to a doctor's office and I would get put on antibiotics or some other med that would make me stop vomiting.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Edward's concerned look brings a sharp pain to my chest.

"Of course," I say, smiling a waned smile. "Just tired."

Edward's hand reaches across the middle of the car to take my hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. I smile. I'm glad he cares, but he's worrying too much.

Maybe I'm not worrying enough…

I shake my head to clear my thoughts. I can't deal with any more stress.

When we get to Edward's house, I know I have one of two options: tell him I have to go to the bathroom, call Alice, ask her lots of questions and vent before going back to Edward and pretending like I've not just had a five minute long conversation with anyone or, two, completely lose myself in mind blowing sex and pray that I'm not going to wake up vomiting anymore.

I bite my lip. I've been worrying my lip half of the trip here. I have to talk to Alice. She'll reassure me. She'll tell me nothing's wrong.

Alice will tell me everything I don't want to hear and then start immersing me in more wedding details.

I gave her free reign with a small wedding and I think she's already rented a cathedral.

Edward lets me precede him into the entry way of his house. I feel his arms wrap around my waist and his lips of my neck. "You didn't eat hardly anything at dinner, Bella." I know he's concerned, but I feel like I'm being blackmailed.

I feel my hand reaching up to stroke his cheek as he raises his head. "I'm not very hungry."

Edward shakes his head. "You worry me, Bella." He kisses my forehead. "Do you at least want something to eat before we move on to other things?"

I shake my head. "Really, I'm fine," I say, pressing a kiss to his lips. "I promise." I twist out of his arms. "But I would really like to get out of this uncomfortable dress," I say. My voice is laden with innuendo, I hear it. But I have to get to some place where I can drop Alice a quick line.

Edward smiles and shakes his head. "You wicked woman."

I smile. "I'll only be a second. I know where my clothes are." I control the urge to run up the stairs. I know that I'm going to go throw on that skimpy nightgown Alice bought me and then run into Edward's study so I could call Alice. I could probably time all of this in fewer than five minutes and still have Edward not worrying about me.

That's, more or less, what I do.

I run into Edward's room, through the master bath, into the closet where I have a clothes collection amassing, and strip out of the black dress, take the lacey black nightgown and throw it over my head before I even bother to take my bra off and then let my hair down, replacing the dress on the hanger that was meant for the nightgown.

I do sprint to the study. I'm just glad it's not down three sets of stairs or any other unlikely feat that would definitely be noticeable.

I close the door to the study silently and turn on the light. My cell phone is clasped in my left hand, my purse thrown somewhere in Edward's closet. I would deal with that little bit of information later.

I press Alice's number from the phone menu. "Hello!" She cheerily answers in two rings. "What's wrong? Do you need me to bring you clothes for tomorrow? I'd suggest a set of pajamas, but I don't know if you'll need them."

"You're a pervert," I hiss to Alice.

She wickedly laughs on the other end. "Seriously, are you ok? Do you want to come home? Are you sick again? I'll come take care of you!"

"No, Alice! I just need a quick favor! Go to the counter in the kitchen and pick up the pack of birth control pills."

Alice is walking. I hear her footfalls on the other line. "Do you want me to run them over? Are you in pain again? You forget to take it this morning?"

"No, Alice," I say, rather impatiently. "Just tell me how many pills are left."

Alice is silent for a moment. "You're on the iron pills. You have two left. You want me to reorder them?"

"Al." I say this clipped, curt. She's trying to be nice and she's trying to care, but she doesn't understand what I'm going through on the other end of the phone. "I'm not on my period."

Alice seems to think this is nothing. "They probably need to screw with the dosage of hormones again. Remember after they put you on it? You got your period every other month or something like that. Maybe your ovaries are just being harassed by too high dosages."

I sigh. "You're probably right."

Alice is silent for a moment. "You don't think…"

As if I can read her mind, I respond with, "Esme thinks so."

Alice clicks her tongue. "I'll call her. I bet Carlisle could even recommend someone here in LA to check you out. You're supposed to go see that OBGYN in like two days for your birth control…"

"Alice, you're not helping here!" I snap.

"Sorry! I know…" Alice and I remain silent for a few seconds. It'd long enough for me to find a chair. "You know that if you are…"

"It's a miracle."

"And you know what you have to do, don't you?" Alice sounds incredibly pained on the other line.

"Yes, Ali. I know. Don't you think I know?" I shake my head and run a hand through my hair. "What are we supposed to do? Go to the doctor and have them run a pregnancy test on me there as they're testing for cancer and anything else I could have developed?" It's a sarcastic comment, but it's at that stage.

"Nah…I think you can buy those in a drug store," Alice says, her humor trying to brighten the mood. "Try not to think about it Bella. We won't know until later. It's probably nothing. Tomorrow, we'll both be laughing about this, right?"

I sigh. "We hope so."

"Have a good night, Bella. I'll pick you up tomorrow. Rosalie gave you the whole day. Just remember: it's just the flu…or Spanish influenza."

"Alice, you're still not helping!" I snap.

Alice laughs. "I know, I know! Sorry! But, have…fun?" I growl and she laughs wildly. "Buh-bye, Bella!"

"Bye," I mutter. I click the phone off and put it on the table next to me, sighing, running a hand through my hair again. I couldn't help but worry now.

The door opens too soon after I put the phone down. I wonder how much of the conversation he heard. Edward walks toward me and kneels down in front of me. "You don't look well, my Bella." He kisses me gently. I feel my arms snake around his neck of their own accord and I press my body closer to his. I feel him smile beneath my lips. "You're quite the seductress tonight, my darling," he says, pulling away only slightly. I feel one of his hands pulling the strap of my nightgown over my shoulder. "You know, this nightgown is quite conservative for what I have in mind." I feel his lips move down my throat. "Perhaps I can help you remove it."

I really have no choice in the matter, but I gasp as he nips my shoulder. "Please, do," I say, breathlessly. I feel myself unbuttoning his shirt. The entire deed is mindless. Even as I am standing naked up against him, both of us struggling to remove his clothing, I am on autopilot.

I just know that I need not to feel. I do know that somehow we end up back in his room, our room, and I am laid gently across the bed like a virgin sacrifice. I am more responsive to him than ever. Every sensation feels as if it is new. Every kiss he places on my lips to stifle the cries of joy that escape my lips, every thrust, every high that I ride.

This ends soon, though. I can barely breathe, though I push myself closer to him, snaking my arms around his neck and place a kiss on his collar bone. He holds me close to him. I know that he wraps us both in a blanket at some point during the night, but nothing really matters to me.

What matters to me is that I am laying next to Edward and he loves me. He accepted me as I was and that was all that mattered to me.

I had found someone I could actually _love_ without guilt.

* * *

I knew it was six o'clock when I woke up. I knew it in my bones. As if on cue, nausea rushed through my body and I was throwing the blankets and Edward's arms off of me as I ran to the bathroom. Once kneeling over the toilet, I proceed to throw up everything I've eaten within the past twenty-four hours.

Sadly, all I remember thinking was, 'Oh, yes. This is glamorous.'

I feel a blanket being wrapped around my shoulders as I sit up. Edward has put on a pair of boxers and has brought me a blanket. He kneels beside me. Sweet. I actually preferred to spend this time alone, though.

I look up at him with tears stinging my eyes. He pushes back that strands of hair that cling to my face before he kisses my forehead and wraps his arms around me, pulling me into his lap.

"Edward, I…" I try to open my mouth, but the bile still stings my throat.

"Bella, you're ill. You don't have to try to defend yourself." He shakes his head before we both lapse into silence. "Do you think it's possible…"

"Don't even start to speculate with me, please." I almost beg. "Between Alice saying I have the Spanish influenza and Emmett saying I've just got some bug that's been going around the set, I'm not going to have any more speculation by parties that are not myself," I say, shaking my head.

Edward tenses for a moment. I feel him trying to relax again as he begins to speak. "It seems to me that that's not what Alice thinks is really wrong."

My eyes widen. "What do you mean?" I look him in the eyes, or I try to as he turns his head away from me.

He finally meets my gaze. "I heard you talking to Alice."

I narrow my eyes. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough," is his clipped answer. He pulls me tighter to his chest. "You know that I would never desert you, don't you, Bella?"

I nod. "That's not why I'm worried, Edward." I rest my head on his shoulder.

For a moment he is silent. I feel him kiss my forehead. "Sleep, my Bella. Don't worry about anything now. There is nothing that is more important than your health right now." I'm so exhausted that I actually listen to him.

* * *

I despise Alice Brandon. If not because she woke me up at six in the morning for a ten o'clock doctor's appointment then I hate her because she is simply annoying.

As I drift back to sleep with Edward's arms wrapped around me, I cannot help but be in a horrible mood because she woke me up.

The ride to the doctor's office is worse than I could have imagined. Not only did  
Edward volunteer to go with me, a request which was denied by my jail warden Alice, but Alice prattled on about all of these different scenarios that could occur at the doctor's office.

As I'm sitting on the edge of the exam table, I'm ready to throw my shoe at her, which would have been a great thing to do but the doctor walked in on us and she shut up, something I doubted she'd ever done in her life.

"Ms. Swan?" The doctor, a middle age, dark-headed man with glasses queries me from behind charts. As he puts them down and smiles warmly, I can't help but wonder why he's a doctor at all. "I'm Doctor Warner," he extends his hand, which I take and then wait for the prompted answer part of this routine. "So, what seems to be troubling you today, Ms. Swan?"

"Bella's been vomiting and unable to stop for the past four days. She's not running a fever though, so we weren't really sure what to do about it…" Alice about to blurt out my life story.

The doctor laughs. "Perhaps Ms. Swan would like to tell her side of the story?"

I shake my head. "I have the flu. There's nothing that can really be done about it."

The doctor looks my over. "Usually flu like symptoms don't last this long…I think I'm going to run a few tests…"

"Are there needles involved?" I ask.

He laughs again. "Most likely."

I glare at him. "Then I refuse to let you near me," I hiss.

He laughs before his face becomes extremely serious. "Are you sexually active?"

Alice opens her mouth, but I find the will to say 'yes', somewhere.

"Is there any possibility that you might be pregnant?"

"I'm supposed to be infertile," I explain.

The doctor nods, scrolls through his computer screen, types in something and then turns back to me. "I see medical miracles like this occur all of the time. It's not so very rare as people think. It couldn't hurt to run a test on you."

"It would wound my dignity," I mutter.

* * *

Alice and I sit in a fast food restaurant an hour later.

"They said they'd call in twenty minutes," I say, freaking out. "Why haven't they called yet?"

Alice takes a sip of her tea. "They're very busy, Bella. There are a lot of sick people in the world."

"I don't care about the other sick people! I want to know why I'm one of the sick people!" I stare intently at my cell phone. Alice just shakes her head. When my phone vibrates in my hand, I drop it to the table, almost shrieking. I grab up the phone. "Hello?" Alice shakes her head again and takes another drink.

I remember feeling like a part of me died, but I don't remember Alice taking the phone out of my hand. I don't really remember walking out to her car or going back to the pent house or anything Alice was saying the entire time.

I do remember Edward calling me to ask if I was ok. I lied slightly and told him I was fine; it was the flu. He didn't like this, asked me about medicine they had put me on, talked about calling Carlisle for a second opinion. I tried to allay all of his fears, downplaying them, trying to laugh. When I hang up the phone, Alice is sitting on the couch next to me with a bowl of ice cream.

"I say," she begins, pulling the spoon out of her mouth, "we could always just forgo any kind of formal wedding ceremony if you'd prefer. Have you even told your dad that you're engaged yet?" I shake my head. Alice smirks. "Isn't he going to be shocked?"

"He'll kill Edward."

Alice takes another bite of ice cream. "Your mother will be ecstatic and enthusiastic, as always." Alice says this only half jokingly. I had already told my mother I was engaged. I hadn't worked out how to tell Charlie.

"Well," I hear Alice's voice break through my thoughts. "You have to tell Edward at some point, right?"

"Oh, yes. That will work out so well, Alice. Do you know how that will make me look? I tell him I can't get pregnant and suddenly, I am! Don't you think that makes me look a little like a lying bit…"

"Edward would never think that of you!" Alice rests a hand on my shoulder. "Everything's going to be ok." She pulls me toward her in an embrace. I never even registered that I'd been crying. Stupid hormones. I hated them.

I hear her phone ringing, playing some kind of marimba solo. She picks it up and shakes her head. I see her debate whether or not to sit it down. "It's Edward, Bells. I'll be right back."

It takes her a while. I hear bits of the conversation, but not much of it interests me. What does interest me is Alice saying, "How would you know?"

There is a long pause before Alice talks again. "You know I can tell when you're lying to me. You think you know, don't you?" Another pause follows. "Edward, you don't know, really." Short pause. "No one lied to you about anything," Alice says softly. She sighs. "Ok, fine. I have to go now." I hear her slam her phone down without even saying 'goodbye'.

"Ok," Alice begins as she bounces back into the room. "So, he knows that I know that you know that I know that he knows what you're lying about…ish…"

I interrupt. "But, I don't know!" I protest, but she keeps talking.

"Edward's coming over, so go take a nice long bath. I can stall him until you're ready, ok?" Alice begins straightening the couch pillows, flying around like a worker bee.

"But, Alice! I'm not lying about anything!" I protest as she helps me up and begins to guide me to the master bathroom. "And why do I have to tell him _now_?"

Alice shrugs. "Well, the worst you can do is 'forget' conveniently." Alice runs to turn on the tap for the bathtub. "Long, _relaxing_ bath, ok?" She pauses as she skips out of the bathroom. "Oh, and, remind me to call Esme, kk?" She skips out of the room, shutting the door. I flip the lock.

I was sure of only one thing at that moment. I was pregnant and I had a problem: how was I going to tell Edward?

I felt terrible. I felt like a liar, a cheat. I was afraid that Edward would think the same of me. Alice's reassurance only made matters worse.

As I step into the scalding bath water, I pretend that the entire day is a dream and that, with the water, I will forget everything and my life could be perfect again.

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**DEFINITELY my least favorite chapter! YAY! Flame, critique...I reread this and realized I probably should have left like HALF of what I cut out and just made this two chapters...**

**BlkTgrRdRse**


	25. If You Want to Make It Better

**Disclaimer: After twenty-three chapters...please tell me everyone knows that I didn't come up with the characters?**

**Hi! I'm back. You may now put down the pitchforks and the torches...and thank you to the person who reviewed '30 Days To Wed' and said I needed to update this poor, neglected fic!**

**I do have a legit excuse! I went on vacation and had a hotel with Wifi. Well, I finally got my laptop back from the Geek Squad and I was so excited and, while I was writing this in my hotel room at four in the morning, THE COMPUTER DIED AGAIN!...so, I then get a call that I have to go somewhere on a family emergency that took me a month! And the hotel I stayed in didn't have WIFI there, so I couldn't upload or reply to reviews, etc. So, I think, after a week, I'll move in with my family. Bad idea. Apparently, they haven't had anything but dial-up for ages and, after having this chapter deleted fifteen times, I went to a library...but the librarian thought I was some kind of famous author in disguise and I got halfway through this chapter and I gave up because she kept trying to shoulder read! *sigh***

**I feel better now! You may now throw stones and...well, hopefully read! **

**Sorry, again!**

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Chapter Twenty-Three

BPOV

I remember feeling anxious as I walk out of the bathroom. I hear voices in the living room, but I feel comforted when I note that they are all female. I also note that they are talking about me. I creep to the end of the hall, pull the sliding door back half an inch and peer out at the scene.

Rosalie is pacing angrily through the living room. I blanch when I catch a brief glimpse of her face. Her long nails look like they want to scratch at something as her fingers clench and unclench, as though involuntarily. "Of course she has to tell him!" Rosalie's frustration seems only to build as she speaks. "Even if she doesn't want Edward to have anything to do with it, he has a right to know!"

Alice is sitting calmly on the edge of the couch. "I'm not proposing that she doesn't tell him, Rosalie, but, with all of the complications involved…"

Esme emerges from the kitchen, carrying cups of some piping liquid. "I do agree with Rosalie, Alice. Bella shouldn't have to be put through an abortion. In a way, though, I agree with you, as well, Alice. I know what it's like to lose a child. Perhaps we should leave this to Bella?" She looks to my hiding place, as if she can see me, as if she can see through those doors and knows exactly where I'm hiding.

Alice shakes her head and hides her face in her hands. "I honestly don't know what to do. Bella won't want to hurt him…and she has to go to see another doctor tomorrow to decide whether or not they need to terminate the pregnancy right now because of the high risk of tubular pregnancy…"

I push the doors open so that I can squeeze through. Rosalie pauses, Esme looks at me appraisingly, and Alice just continues to shake her head.

Rosalie comes to me and wraps her arms around me. Her six foot height dwarfs me. She strokes my hair soothingly as she envelops me in an embrace, but I don't feel weak. I don't want to be hugged and passed around with more emissions of 'poor Bella' from all parties. I shrug her arms away from me.

"Thank you, Rosalie…but…I don't want to be pitied right now." Alice looks surprised. "Can we put this off another day, Alice? At least until they've done the ultrasound to determine my chan…my condition?" My voice sounds almost lifeless to my own ears. I think I've just steeled myself, but I don't know for what.

"Bella," Alice begins.

"No, Alice." I shake my head. I'm going to do what I feel is right. "If they think that I even have the slightest chance of carrying this child to term…if they think that my child has the slightest chance of survival, I'm going back to New York…tomorrow."

"Bella, can't you wait three weeks?" Rosalie was actually concerned? "We could double your filming schedule…say you have a job offer in New York…say you had to go back…wait…why are you leaving? You won't even be showing in six weeks!" Rosalie glances at Alice who looks just as confused.

"I…I don't want to have to put Edward through any of this," I begin.

Esme stops me. "Bella," she looks at me sternly. "You need to tell him. Even if you think that you will be a horrible burden, you need to talk to him." She looks at me lovingly and comes toward me. Placing a hand on my shoulder, she begins again. "Edward loves you, Bella. I can see that. He would never find you a burden. He would take care of you, Bella. I know my son." Her appeals fall on nearly deaf ears. I am set in stone.

"And if I die, Esme? What then? What would happen then? Would you really sentence your son to live with not only one death, but two? Would you really sentence him to be forever burdened with a child that was supposed to be impossible?"

I'm the only one who hasn't looked up toward the door. I'm the only one who hadn't heard the key in the lock, the turning of the handle, the shutting of the door…

As I turn around, I brace myself.

I don't need anyone to sentence me to my own personal circle of Hell…I've done that by myself.

I turn around slowly. Alice is standing up from the couch in seconds. "Please, please, don't say anything!" Alice's pleading look on her face makes me bite my lip.

As my brown eyes meet deep emerald, I know he's heard every word that I've said.

Rose is the first to break the silence. "Okay…I do believe that we should all probably go home get some rest and maybe everyone could…"

"Rosalie," Alice says, tersely. "I think we need to go." Alice wasn't going to let Rosalie get away with this.

"But…" I do not think I have ever heard Rosalie not get what she wanted.

Edward takes a step forward. "Rosalie," I hear him say, tersely. "Out." Alice and Esme are only too happy to oblige.

As they all leave, Rosalie more or less dragged, I hear one last word from Esme. "Bella, if you need anything…" I nod, feigning a smile.

I turn my back on Edward and walk around the couch, sitting back into the cushions. I sigh, trying to sound as if I were indifferent. "You heard?"

"Bella," I hear him call softly.

"You don't have to act as if you care or think that I haven't been lying to you," I say, interrupting him, not bothering to turn around.

Edward walks around toward me and sits next to me on the couch. He takes my hand and I'm shocked enough to allow him. "Do you ever let anyone talk?"

I bite my lip. "Occasionally."

Edward takes my lips with one simple motion. I don't fight him. I just let him kiss me and I melt into it. "Then listen to me, Bella: I do not think any less of you, Bella. Just tell me this, Bella: are you sure that you are pregnant?"

I nod. "I'm positive and so is the doctor who examined me." I look at him as if he is crazy. "Do you really think I would be this upset if I weren't sure?"

Edward pulls me into his chest. "Bella, Bella…" He runs his hands through my hair. "Please don't leave me, Bella."

"Edward…" I begin.

"If you want to go back to New York, we will." I take a deep breath preparing to interrupt. "I'll even quit acting if that's what you want."

"Edward," I say, as curtly as I possibly can without hurting him. I try to pull away from him, just to have the ability to look him in the eyes. "You know that's not what I want…"

Edward put a finger to my lips. "Then explain it to me, Bella."

And the words caught in my throat. What did I want? I watched his emerald eyes and I could see a future. I could see my own happiness and somewhere in the back of my mind I could also see myself being stalked by cameras. I could not subject a child to that, could I?

Then again, I had been able to avoid the cameras more and more. Maybe we could make this work.

I take his hand. "I want this to work."

Edward smiles his crooked smile at me. "That's all I need to know."

I'm just glad that his lips meet mine. I am truly happy. I may not know what tomorrow may bring, but I am truly happy. I hear someone knock on the door, but I try to ignore it.

Unfortunately, Edward is more sensible. "I think we need to answer that."

I purse my lips. "I don't." I can feel myself scowling. Edward just smiles and moves from the couch.

When he opens the door, in skips the delicate little pixie. "It suddenly occurred to me that I live here," she says, not in the most joyous tone. I wonder if she got in another fight with Rosalie…or if Rosalie won. Alice begins to march toward the kitchen, but stops short, looking at me. "Wait, I missed something. Do you two want to be alone?"

Edward laughs, I shake my head. "You've already killed the moment, Alice. I see no point in you going anywhere now."

Alice smiles. "I knew you'd understand!" She starts to put on a pot of coffee and I can only watch her through the window into the kitchen. "So, I take it that it's up to me to fine tune the details?"

I turn to Edward who looks just as confused as I do. "Details?" I decide that they can fight. I lay against the couch pillows.

Alice doesn't even bother to turn around. "Oh, you know. The paparazzi, the wedding, the movie premiere, etcetera."

Edward does not look pleased. "Alice, everything will continue as we have planned…"

"No, it can't!" I begin to protest. Alice opens her mouth, but Edward looks away from her and she bites her lip in defeat. "What if…I mean, what if I don't…"

Alice sighs. "Bella, the chances are high, but I have also known you to beat the odds more than once."

Edward looks at Alice. "Tubular pregnancy risk?" Alice nods. I forgot that he was a pre-med major while he was able to take college courses. He turns to me. "Bella, you will get the best medical treatment money can buy," he comes to sit next to me, as though there is more. "However, if you want a closer wedding date…"

Alice stops him. "Oh, no! You are both going through with my wedding! Why? Because I planned it already! I don't care if she's pregnant again at the time and has to wear a maternity dress! This is my wedding!"

I blink at bridezilla, er, wedding-planner-monster, and then shake my head. "Can we take this one day at a time?" I look to Edward. "I am so sorry that this had to happen to you."

Edward pulls me to his chest. I just cling to him, close my eyes and breathe in his scent. "You're sorry for what exactly? It's your health that's at risk, not mine." I don't bother to protest, I just sigh. "And the fact that the woman I love is going to have my baby is nothing I regret."

I hear Alice leave the room, and I smell her coffee. "I'll leave you two alone. I've got business to take care of." Though she mutters it, I can't help thinking that she planned it out somehow.

"Thank you, Edward," I say. I turn my face up toward him and kiss his cheek.

Edward pushes hair out of my face. His smile is contagious. "Now, would you like to go home? With me?"

I nod. "I would love to."

There had been one point at which I thought all that Edward Masen could ever be to me was an enemy. Through all of the insults, somehow I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me. There was no way around it. To add insult to injury, we had thought we could have the perfect life. Maybe we could, ironically. Maybe, somehow, everything would work out for the best.

For now, I didn't know what my future held, but I knew that I would always have Edward and that was all that mattered.

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**Worst thing I've ever written? Probably not, but worst I've ever written for this story, I think...because of the discouraging computer crashes. **

**Sorry, people! Really! Review! There is an Epilogue...because I figured you might want a little word from Edward.**

**I will get a quote to you and, if people review, I'll post the epilogue tomorrow night because that actually got done while the librarian was watching me...Ha ha.**

**Thank you all again, so, so, SO much for reading this. It means a lot to me.**

**~BlkTgrRdRse**


	26. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: At the end of any story...most authors brag...I say I still don't own the characters, just the concept! *smiles***

**Thank you, guys for reading! And for reviewing! I love all of you...basically because I feel that you give me a more honest review than anyone else in my life who reads this!**

**I won't ramble! I do that enough! On to the ending!**

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Epilogue

EPOV

"Alice, could you please sit down?" I hear my Bella laughing as soon as I open the door. "You're making _me_ nervous and I'm already married!"

I shake my head. Alice has been over to our home every day asking Bella's advice on details for her own wedding. Alice could plan anyone else's wedding, apparently, but, when it came to her own, she needed help. First it was boxes and then it was food for the reception and then it was whether her dress was too revealing even though it was only strapless and extremely conservative. The only thing she hadn't questioned the entire United States about was the color and style of her bridesmaid dresses.

I tried to ask about this subject, but Bella informed me that if I valued my life, I would never ask about it. I was informed that it was as torturous and any other wedding party's dresses.

I walk into the living room to see Alice pacing frantically while Bella sits with a book on the couch. "I can't sit down! If I sit down, I can't think and if I can't think I can't decide if the cake is right and…"

"I am not eating another thing!" Bella protests. I note the harshness of it and have to stifle a laugh. "I gained five pounds from your reception food alone! Not that I look it, but I would prefer being able to fit into that dress rather than not."

Alice stops to wave to me weakly as I walk in the room and then resumes pacing. I wrap my arms around Bella's shoulder from behind and tilt her face up so that I can kiss her. "I see we have another wedding crisis on our hands." I kiss Bella's lips gently. "I assume it's about a cake?"

Bella rolls her eyes. "That and everything else under the sun." This time I have to laugh. There is no keeping it away. "She's convinced it has to be perfect! Does she not realize that this is her? Everything will always be perfect! She went around at the dining hall for our reception and rearranged all of the silverware!"

I smile at the memory. Alice had been the one to chew people out over details the night before the wedding. Two years ago she had been the one up past midnight, fierce as a lion, camping out in a dining hall until she had everything perfect, despite that she had hired the decorators.

"And how are you feeling?" I stroke Bella's cheek tenderly. She looks pale, I note.

"I'm fine. My novel comes out in three days and I am battling morning sickness, but, other than that, I feel perfectly fine," she says, through gritted teeth. I try to ignore her sarcasm, knowing that any response will only make her have a strong urge to murder me.

"Daddy!" I turn to catch a fifteen month old Reneesme in my arms. I swing her around in my arms.

"How is my girl today?" I ask her.

She laughs at me as I hold her. "Fine," she musters through a laugh. Bella swears that she has only two words in her vocabulary: 'daddy' and 'fine'. She jokes that anything else can be understood but there may never be a response.

Bella holds her arms out for her and Reneesme acts as if she would jump from my arms, so I hand her off. "Ornery is more like it," she says, jokingly as she sets Reneesme down to stare in wonderment at Alice. "She's been into everything today. Paints, my manuscript that's due in a week, any CD she can find, her toys…I thought she was going to try to commandeer the dog from next door for a while." Even as she talks, I watch Bella smile at our daughter. "She's something alright."

I move around to sit next to Bella on the couch. After finding out that she could carry a child to term, despite the small odds, Bella had decided that what would be best for our baby was if she could stay home, if she could act as a mother rather than having her child given off to a nanny for the day. Bella had even felt guilty about having to leave her at home while we went to the premiere of _Wuthering Heights_, but Alice seems to love playing babysitter…unfortunately it also meant that our infant had a closet bigger than her mother's.

I take Bella's hand. "I'm sure that our next child will be just as curious…but perhaps less energetic. I think Reneesme definitely has enough of that for two," I joke. Bella and I had seriously considered having a sibling for Reneesme. Bella was past preparing for the worst now that she was almost past her first trimester and the house had a different atmosphere now that Alice was buying baby clothes again and asking about birthday parties.

Bella sighed and shifted on the couch, putting her book on the side table. She leaned back into me and I slid my arm around her shoulder. "I feel almost like this is too perfect," she murmurs.

I look down at her. "Why?"

She shrugs. "I don't know. I have a wonderful daughter who was supposed to be impossible, another child on the way," she paused for a moment. "And I married you." She smiled. "I don't think there is anything I could ask for."

I kiss her forehead. "And if you should think of anything, I will make sure that you have it within twenty-four hours' time," I say with a mischievous smile.

Bella shakes her head and laughs, her light, soprano laugh. "I will make sure to keep that in mind."

"Would you two pay attention?" Alice is back to ranting. "Should it be chocolate or white cake? Do most weddings have both? I was thinking about making the cake tiered…we could always do a marble… What do you two think?"

Bella smiles politely. "Whatever it is that makes you happy, Alice!" She leaned closer to me and whispered, "Because that's what she will do in the end and anything else will be forgotten conveniently!"

I laugh, but Alice responds angrily. "I don't know why I come over here! You aren't listening, are you?"

Reneesme, picking up on Alice's rant about cake and knowing that it somehow lead to sugar, tugged on the hem on Alice's black slacks. "Sweet?" Reneesme asks and points to her mouth, which makes Alice soften.

Alice shakes her head and crouches down. "No. No sweets today, Nessie. Sorry. But, Auntie Alice will bring you chocolate next time so that you can keep your mommy and daddy up all night!" She glares at us. Alice stands back up again. "I think I better go. I'm supposed to meet Jasper in a few hours and I don't even know what to wear…but I'll call about the cake, okay?" There really is no choice but to agree. She sighs. "Sometimes, I really don't understand how you two have time to fawn over each other. I mean an author-mother and an actor who always seem to be busy." She shakes her head, but smiles. "I'll see you two later."

I wait until I hear the front door click. "Thank God, she's gone," is all I can say.

Bella laughs. "That's rather wicked to say. After all, she is sweet about five percent of the time and filming keeps you away a lot more than I would like," she jokes.

I kiss her lips, deeply, knowing that Reneesme is occupied with her toys. "If I had my way, I would never leave your side."

Bella smiles and gets up to hold Reneesme. "I know," she says, collecting Reneeme in her arms. "Now, aren't we supposed to be at dinner with your parents and Emmett and Rose later tonight?"

I sigh. "Yes…but would they mind terribly if we cancelled?" I smile.

Bella rolls her eyes. "That comment about everything being perfect? Forget it. I have the most stubborn husband known to the world." She smiles and starts to walk upstairs. "Now while you relax, I'm going to get her ready and then we can go see if we can dodge the paparazzi. Sound fun?"

I smirk. "Of course. It always is. A couple of the cameras get ruined as they run in front of cars, but, other than that, I don't think we've ever lead to permanent damage." Bella shakes her head and begins to climb the stairs.

She was right, in a way. This is too perfect.

But I think I like our definition of 'perfect'.

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**Not the best ending ever, but I liked this epilogue. You can decide what you will! **

**Thank you all again for reading! You've all helped me improve as a writer! That's something that I really appreciate because this is something that I really enjoy doing! And I have 30 Days To Wed up...and still not updated, but that will happen...hopefully today!**

**I don't feel like saying much because I don't feel like it's really 'The End'. That's a good thing, though! I hope you all enjoyed it while it lasted! **

**I'll shut up now!**

**The End!**


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